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AIBU?

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Original poster

To open my bedroom window at 3am and scream Fuck Off at a cuckoo?

85 replies

Nubbled · 26/05/2020 10:58

Three am, and it's cuckoo, cuckoo. Bastarding bird looking for a mate with which to produce a satanic love child.
It's either that or burn the tree down.

OP posts:
SausageCrush · 26/05/2020 17:14

No cuckoos here sadly, but since having kids I am a very light sleeper and often lie in bed from 4 am, listening to the dawn chorus Hmm

It starts with robins, then blackbirds. I often have trouble getting back to sleep afterwards as my brain starts cranking up, thinking about the day ahead.

I was up this morning at 5 am and fondly remember those December lie ins, when it didn't get light until 8 am...

TimeWastingButFun · 26/05/2020 17:15

Ah the birds are lovely in the morning, I like it. But I am giggling at the thought of someone else listening to the birds and hearing 'fuck off' amongst them!

Cantaloupeisland · 26/05/2020 20:44

@TimeWastingButFun can just imagine some super healthy early riser, maybe doing a bit of dawn yoga and meditation to the birdsong suddenly hearing FUCK OFF! Grin

pigsDOfly · 26/05/2020 20:46

I love the sound of owls. Haven't heard one for years.

MaryBoBary · 26/05/2020 21:15

Funnily enough a cuckoo flew over us as we had our BBQ tonight, it was nice to hear.

TimeWastingButFun · 26/05/2020 21:44

@cantaloupeisland
Grin

Original poster
Nubbled · 26/05/2020 21:55

I'm off to bed, I need sleep. Please cuckoos, let me sleep.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nubbled · 26/05/2020 21:57

And all male cuckoos, LET ME SLEEP TONIGHT..

OP posts:
Andpiglettoo · 26/05/2020 22:05

Clearly the conspiracy was true - their batteries have been changed and they are back at full volume!

Khione · 26/05/2020 22:14

My worst was in Italy a few years ago

A friggin' nightingale. Nevermind 3am it started at about 10 pm and carried on until the dawn chorus took over at about 4 am. Every night for the fortnight we were there.

I currently have the dawn chorus of garden birds - I set Alexa off reading my audio book and turn the sound up.

Goldenhedgehogs · 27/05/2020 00:56

I have just as annoying problem but living in a shite neighbourhood not caused by lovely birds but inconsiderate neighbours. I was woken by neighbour ACROSS the road at 6am blaring out music through an open bedroom window. I lost it and yelled Alexa dismiss out of my window thinking I had nothing to loose. Bonus it stopped immediately and hasn't been heard since.

SquashedSpring · 27/05/2020 01:16

I once opened my window and sobbed at a cockerel to please be quiet. I told it I had a hangover and I would die if it didn't stop making that noise, but it ignored me Sad.

NewtonPulsifer · 27/05/2020 01:25

Wood pigeons are the bastards round here. I have never heard a cuckoo in my life but loads have and I feel left out. Instead all I hear is cuc-coo-oo from those sky rat pigeons.

PinkMic · 27/05/2020 03:57

I'm currently awake and listening to a dawn chorus which, although loud, is positively glorious compared to the normal constant seagull squawking: I think COVID has forced them off our roofs and back out to sea and I am SO PLEASED. It won't last :-(

Fishfingersandwichplease · 27/05/2020 04:18

Little sods just woke me up too!!

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 27/05/2020 04:57

Birds have woken me up after just falling asleep 20min ago after feeding my 7 week old baby. This thread has made me laugh way more than it should. Solidarity to all those with pesky noisy feathery friends!

Itoldyouiwasill · 27/05/2020 06:14

I'll swap your cuckoo for a million crows every morning from 4am

Janaih · 27/05/2020 06:19

I've been awake since 4am thanks to magpies. They sound like Catherine Tate's sweary Nan.

Theres also an unidentified bird that has leaned to make a noise like a phone ringing.

BigusBumus · 27/05/2020 07:38

@Janaih The phone ringing bird will be a starling. They are bastards for that. 😡

ProperVexed · 27/05/2020 07:44

Ooh...it's 0745 ...does anyone else think that @Nubbled is still asleep?

VeryLittleOwl · 27/05/2020 08:28

Cuckoo on the other side of the valley apparently went off on one at 1.30 this morning. My farmer friend is very unamused.

LittleCandle · 27/05/2020 08:34

Not a cuckoo, because we are too far north for them, but there was a starling (I am reliably told) the other morning at 2.30. Its still dark!!! Luckily for the bird, I had nothing at hand to throw. Mind you, I would probably have missed anyway. Thankfully, it hasn't done it again. Maybe another neighbour has better aim than me...

BigusBumus · 27/05/2020 08:47

Cuckoo doing its thing right now in my garden. SHUT UP!!!!!!! It's not like
bird song which I love, it's like a small
Toddler repeatedly saying the same word over and over again all day without a break. Wish I could record it to torment you with. 😡😭

ProperVexed · 27/05/2020 10:35

I would love a cuckoo in my garden....send him this way.

Ratonastick · 27/05/2020 11:00

I can deal with the early morning birdsong. Earplugs and a lifetime of travelling/jet lag means I can sleep anywhere and through anything (including an earthquake on one notable occasion. Only a small one.). But pigeons, shagging pigeons. That’s not a swear word, my garden fence is their perfect shag pad. Every hour of daylight, the pair of them are shagging on the fence. It’s relentless, I mean who has that sort of stamina? I can’t sit in the garden without having to watch pigeons at it.

Still, at least someone is getting some.