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AIBU?

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Original poster

No more paying the mortgage

100 replies

CurtainWitcher · 26/05/2020 10:30

My sister has been with her DP for sixteen years and they have a ten year old DD.

Her DP has refused to legally formalise their finances (marriage etc), as he believes he brought more to the table money-wise.

When they bought their house, he put roughly 70% of their deposit and she put in 30%. If it's sold, that split will be what they reach receive.

Their salaries go into a joint account and all bills, including mortgage, are paid from that.

Was I unreasonable to suggest that she stops paying the mortgage because she's paying off his share? They've lived there for thirteen years and have £50k left on the mortgage. is worth around £400k.

Was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 26/05/2020 10:30

You were unreasonable to stick your nose in

Original poster
CurtainWitcher · 26/05/2020 10:34

I didn't. She asked what I thought.

OP posts:
zscaler · 26/05/2020 10:42

Surely if they split they would each get back what they put into the deposit, and then share the equity equally? Or do they have a contract stating the 70/30 split? If so she was an idiot for signing it...

CaptainButtock · 26/05/2020 10:42

Yes, surely it's only fair that he pays 70% of mortgage costs, and she pays 30%?

Notso · 26/05/2020 10:48

No of course shouldn't pay for his share.
My friend and her DP bought a house together. My friend sold her own house and paid for her half outright which was the deposit. Her DP pays the mortgage on his own as that's his half.

BaronessBomburst · 26/05/2020 10:49

Is it just the deposit that's protected with a 70/30 split, or the actual ownership of the house is 70/30?

GabriellaMontez · 26/05/2020 10:51

Did they have a legal agreement about the house?

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 26/05/2020 10:53

Yes surely it’s only the deposit that’s 70/30?

The rest should be split equally

Original poster
CurtainWitcher · 26/05/2020 10:57

Just checked. He paid 70% of the deposit, but legally he owns the same amount of the house, despite them paying the mortgage. Doesn't seem fair to me.

OP posts:
justhereforthetips · 26/05/2020 10:59

Well they should be paying the mortgage 70/30 then. Maybe they are? You haven't said they're paying half each.

Original poster
CurtainWitcher · 26/05/2020 10:59

As far as I understand, the legal agreement says that he receives 70% of house sale proceedings, if they sell. His cousin was the solicitor.

OP posts:
Original poster
CurtainWitcher · 26/05/2020 11:00

As far as I know, their salaries are very similar and it all goes into one pot, from which the mortgage is paid.

OP posts:
Idododoidadada · 26/05/2020 11:00

Their salaries go into a joint account and all bills, including mortgage, are paid from that

Are they earning equal salaries?

Idododoidadada · 26/05/2020 11:01

X post

Elsiebear90 · 26/05/2020 11:01

Why does he own 70% of the house when she’s paying 50% of the mortgage? Did they ask their solicitor to include this when they bought the house as the deposit is a completely separate issue to how much of the house they own?

justhereforthetips · 26/05/2020 11:01

I think you need to know all of the details if you're going to offer any sort of advice.

WatchingFromTheWings · 26/05/2020 11:02

Think I'd be setting things up so she pays 30% of the mortgage into the joint account, split everything else 50/50 and they each keep the rest of their wages.

Original poster
CurtainWitcher · 26/05/2020 11:04

I don't think he should own more than her. Ok, take deposits separately, but remainder should be 50/50.

She said she doesn't know how to get the contract changed (I don't know why she won't just ask and find out!), I advised her to stop paying the mortgage. I told her that she should set up her own bank account until house is legally half hers.

OP posts:
TheSmelliestHouse · 26/05/2020 11:05

She should only pay 30% of the mortgage under that agreement. He's being very tight.

Original poster
CurtainWitcher · 26/05/2020 11:06

She trusted her DP and his cousin (who she doesn't know) and now has no information or easy access to it. I wish she'd have more of a backbone and just stand up for herself.

OP posts:
honeylulu · 26/05/2020 11:08

What proportion of the mortgage does your sister pay? The way things are set up as 70/30 tenants in common, she should pay 30%.

She isn't married so no 50/50 claim on the equity.

Cousin as solicitor sounds a bit dodgy unless it can be satisfied this was an "arms length" transaction. Did the sol suggest your sister sought independent legal advice? Certainly should have done! If did not, she may be able to contest the arrangement in future if the relationship falls apart and it seems unfair that she icky gets 30%. (Doesn't mean it IS unfair however. This is one of the penalties of a lower earning partner not being married. Plus of course an advantage to the higher earning partner!)

Original poster
CurtainWitcher · 26/05/2020 11:09

Her DP seems like a nice enough man, but is very independent and likes to protect his money. He tells her she's his Commonlaw Wife, which I know is utterly meaningless, and I suspect he knows that too. I wouldn't want to be with someone like that, personally.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 26/05/2020 11:10

She should calculate how much she is paying. If she leaves with 30%, she pays 30%.

Is he paying more for furniture, holidays etc and she is living a lifestyle that is way beyond her means?

You've got to look at everything and weigh it all up, including her taking a hit because of maternity/child/house work etc.

Crinkletinkle · 26/05/2020 11:10

Did she get separate legal advice when she entered the contact? Or did his cousin advise both of them together?

Standupthisisnotateaparty · 26/05/2020 11:16

You get back deposit then split.
70% deposit could be £700 to he £300 when bought.