No more paying the mortgage

[CurtainWitcher]

My sister has been with her DP for sixteen years and they have a ten year old DD.

Her DP has refused to legally formalise their finances (marriage etc), as he believes he brought more to the table money-wise.

When they bought their house, he put roughly 70% of their deposit and she put in 30%. If it's sold, that split will be what they reach receive.

Their salaries go into a joint account and all bills, including mortgage, are paid from that.

Was I unreasonable to suggest that she stops paying the mortgage because she's paying off his share? They've lived there for thirteen years and have £50k left on the mortgage. is worth around £400k.

Was I unreasonable?

I think he should get back what he put in (the 70%), and anything thereafter should be split 50/50, if they've been paying it 50/50. If they have a written agreement, it may state that. I suppose he could get some interest on his share, but that's a bit much. If he on title as holding 70%?

Do they split maintenance costs on the house 50/50 as well?

If they have a written agreement giving him 70%, that agreement should also stipulate how they may ongoing mortgage and maintenance. If it doesn't, she may have an action against the solicitor, if it isn't statute barred.

In the worst case scenario, I assume she could argue a constructive trust or an equitable remedy. That's what would happen in Canada - her contributions would be recognized in law, if not directly, then indirectly. However, that's only with litigation.

This is why deciding to have a long-term unmarried relationship with children and assets without taking your own legal advice is a fucking terrible idea.

Winterlife if they're in England and Wales she might also be able to argue that there's a constructive trust entitling her to a larger share, if she can show she's been paying 50% on the mortgage. The problem is that it is potentially so difficult and expensive to prove. You have to be an unmarried partner with decent access to funds for it to be a viable route.

Thanks everyone. I don't know much more, except the fact that she has never met, spoken to or received any information from the solicitor. Apparently only her DP met and discussed it with him.
I do get frustrated by how stupid and trusting she can be.

She needs to see a solicitor and show them the contract.

In my opinion they each get a % back. So say the house was 100k when they bought it.
DP put 7k down as a deposit, so 7% of the total value
DS put down 3k deposit, so 3% of the total value of the house.
When it comes to selling, her dp gets 7% of the equity, your ds gets 3% of the equity then the remaining equity, 90%, gets split 50/50

That way if the house falls in price the loss is also split fairly.

This is the way myself and my dp did this via a solicitor, mind you that was years ago.

Yes, he will pull a fast one on your sister if he's claiming 70% of the entire house is his. It should only apply to the deposit. She should ask that the paperwork on that be rectified to reflect that ... his response will tell her what she needs to know.

Apparently it's her DP's father's cousin, not his cousin.

If he's a solicitor and he's stitched her up then she can go to the financial services ombudsman

Child. Mortgage paid jointly. 10 years later should be a 50/50 split.She needs legal advice.

Payments will show she has paid 50% of house since x date -she will get 50% in the event of a split with good legal advice.

I don't know much more, except the fact that she has never met, spoken to or received any information from the solicitor. Apparently only her DP met and discussed it with him.

Huge red flag. She should seek independent legal advice from her own solicitor.

I presume she signed everything at the time, so won't have any legal comeback.

So is it possible that there is no written agreement?

He just had a chat with his dads cousin ?

If she hasn't signed anything then there isn't one...

If he's a solicitor and he's stitched her up then she can go to the financial services ombudsman

Solictor's Regulation Authority.

But yes, if she gets her own advice the cousin could be in the shit professionally.

With that arrangemnet, hey should have 70/30 of the deposit back in a case of a split. The remainer should be split 50/50 as the whole of the mortgage is coming out of the joint account.

the issue here is what her DH thinks he should get back. That basically that his dw should pay him for paying the mortgage.

imo that's where the issue is with the 'I don't want to share finances because i earn more/I put more in' attitude whilst expecting at the same time to share finances completely.
The very big issue after that is that all that has been going on for 13 years so, for her to try and change that will be met with a HUGE resistance from him. Why change something that has been accepted for so long and is beneficial to him?
There is also the question of how should then split the costs etc...

I would actually start by getting some advice with a lawyer, even if she doesnt want to split. Eg what would happen if he dies? Would she get only 1/3 of the house etc...

Whether she asked or not it's best not to be involved.
If she's only paying what she perceives to be 'her' share then when they sell the house and down size eventually or when they split up to only have 'her' share of the house?

It’s a shame to see people saying YABU on the vote, I really think that the fact it’s considered ‘bad form’ to discuss this sort of thing contributes to women getting shafted in such arrangements. One of my friends is going through a split and the house situation is a massive headache because no one wanted to sit down and actually think about it.

if there has been some lawyer involved and has never seen said lawyer... then she really relly needs to see ne NOW. Just for herself and certainly not with her DH.
I am guessing that he has protecting his back wo saying a word to him and she will need all the help she can to getout of that.
What a scum.

She should contribute 30/70 surely not 50/50

Has she made a will?

On what basis is the property owned? Joint or tenants in common

It’s hard to see how the OP instructed a solicitor who she never met. Isn’t that a breach of Law Society guidelines? How did she prove her identity ?

How did she sign legal docs for the house purchase and mortgage without ever meeting the solicitor ?

She may not have had legal advice at all, so doesn't that Mean that the contacts are questionable?

She needs to Write down all the facts and then get legal advice .

Surely they should both get their paid deposit back so whatever the original amount was then split profit 50:50

She needs to get legal advice asap

It’s a shame to see people saying YABU on the vote, I really think that the fact it’s considered ‘bad form’ to discuss this sort of thing contributes to women getting shafted in such arrangements.

I completely agree with your second sentence, but at least some of the YABUs are because people don't think OP should've advised her sister to stop paying the mortgage. That's a terrible idea without the sister first taking her own independent legal advice.

Sorry to highjack
In similar position here
Dp & I are tenants in common
I had previous house with ds 12 with 80k equity to take to new house
He rented
We bought house together 160k

We had document to say in the invent of I get my 80k back
He took 80k out mortgage with both off us on it, but hE PAID all off mortgage.
He did question it at time of signing deed of trust , I should pay half the mortgage
it was said if I pay half of the mortgage then it would not be 50/50
It would be 75/25. He didn’t want that.

His argument now is
Solicitor & I conned him to signing the deed of trust ?
He doesn’t get, we could if split 12 mths later and he’d get half of my 80k
He argues that he’s probably paid more out than me taking the mortgage out including interest.
Doesn’t get I sold my house and he had nothing, but would probably walk away with something if we split. As he wouldn’t have if he carried on renting.

This deed of trust as been a massive red flag in our relationship, and it’s always being brought up
How I conned him
We’re 2 years off paying the mortgage

Do I get rid off the deed of trust after the mortgage as been paid off ?
I must say “ he had an affair 5 yrs ago) but we’re back on track now. So hence my need to keep it in place
But this document is a massive red rag

@blackberrycane ah yes that’s true - I agree that in that sense OP is BU -probably not going to end well!