I actively chose not to risk having children. I had quite an abusive childhood, and also have multiple disabilities. I wasn’t prepared to risk having a disabled child, as there is almost certainly a genetic link.
I have spent too much of my life in pain to risk inflicting that on a child.
It’s tough, but less so for me because the abuse of my childhood combined with my disabilities has meant I have never been in a relationship, so the whole thing has always been academic to me.
What really helped is I was made Godparent to a friends child. So I have been through all the stages and watched him and his brothers grow up. It gives me great solace, that when the boys are old men, they will reminisce to their Grandchildren about the holidays they spent as boys on the Norfolk coast, and will remember me. Their own children might also get to know me. I know that in a small way I have influenced and contributed to the men they have become.
It’s all any of us can really ask is to be acknowledged for a generation.
There are ways of interacting with children, that are not the same as actually having them, but that are equally valid.
Be proud of the fact you have done the right thing, by not risking your life of a child’s life.
It’s still shit, but it can be less shit.