To think most property owners don’t understand how hard it now is to buy a house

[Boredfromboredshire]

DP and me earn 40k between us and our rent is 1200 a month for a 3 bed house. We don’t have rich relatives, we are in our early 40’s and circumstances (ill health) meant that we didn’t buy a house before. We can’t save a deposit & houses are expensive by us. We have stable jobs & our kids are happy so moving in the current uncertain time’s isn’t an option. Life has happened to us & some of it has been out it control.

Cue well meaning friend (who bought their house for peanuts) asking me why we couldn’t afford a house when we could get a house in a cheaper area for ‘only’ 400k. I’m so fed up of it. We really want a home of our own & we would move but in the current recession, it’s not a good idea to give up a job. And we can’t afford to save. My friend (whose deposit was 12k can’t understand it and looks on pityingly while telling me the house they bought for 120k is now worth 700k.

For many of us, the housing market is closed for ever. I’m so tired of the pity and the complete cluelessness- I quite often feel utter despair about it. It makes me feel such a failure for no real fault of our own. Some people were lucky because they happened to buy at a particular month in time & then some of us couldn’t & it’s over.

I don’t think people who own really understand what it’s like. Low interest rates, cheap mortgages, everything weighted in favour of owners while renters are treated like the Victorian poor.

Aibu to be sick of it. We are a normal family in normal jobs.

I think when people say move to “the north” they mean places like Blackpool and Barrow - these places are cheap because of the lack of career prospects and social problems.

Yes, but they don't have to be where you live for the rest of your life. Part of getting on the property ladder means buying a one-bedroom flat in a rubbish area, paying down the mortgage and using the equity to buy a two-bed terrace. Then you repeat the process and eventually you get the nice three bed with a garden 10-15 years later.

Very, very few people can just buy a large house with a garden as their first home. You have to build up to it. And unfortunately having children before you buy and choosing to live in a pricy city like Oxford means that's going to be impossible.

At least the interest rate isn't 16%, which is approximately what it was when I got my first mortgage. That was pretty crippling.

I don’t think people who own really understand what it’s like

Well on the basis that thae majority of us who own went through the process of buying, then I'm going to have to disagree. I remember what it was like

It is very hard at 40 to uproot a family to a new area where you know no-one. It is hard to get new jobs, for kids to start new schools and to begin again, probably still in rental for a time before buying. No one said it was easy, but more people need to consider seriously looking into it, because it can be a solution when there aren’t many for low earners

I uprooted myself at 36, and moved to an area where I knew no-one. I got a job there first. And I was uprooted and changed schools at 9 because my parents finally got a council house after years of waiting.
I survived. It can be done, but it requires a bit of courage and commitment.

In OPs case, with a partner with a university job, I'd have thought it was eminently doable. There are universities all over the country, many of them in nice areas where housing is much cheaper than Oxford. Places like Durham, or Lancaster, with great countryside on the doorstep, or the area around York or Sheffield.

Many of the posts on here have just reinforced many times over my original point to be honest!

Giving up iPhones, avocados, moving to a cheaper area & all those things really aren’t going to get me & my DP to be able to save a deposit. The housing market is totally broken.

And we are not entitled, lazy, unwilling to work hard or make compromises or any of the other nice things we have been called by some people.

We need our support systems around us because of my DPs fluctuating health and need to be close to family. But family isn’t wealthy enough to give us tens of thousands in a deposit.

Ah right. So the next step is saying that the OP should move her children to the towns with the highest drugs overdoses per capita in the country, in order to get on the housing ladder?

For most of my 20s (back in 70s) the mortgage lenders were prepared to lend 3 times your salary. This tended to be sufficient for people in their 30s on the salaries which were paid back then. Obviously some people found that easier than others.

The ratio of 3 x salary being enough to buy a house/flat pertained through most of the 80s too. Towards the end of the 80s there was a time of 'idiocy' wrt house prices, and mortgage lenders were lending as much as 5 or 6 times salary (and possibly more), accepting self-employed books without any proof which often turned out to be works of fiction. I had a landlady who had bought her maisonette by making up 3 years of figures (just 3 lines of numbers for each year - income, outgoings, profit), which bore no relation to the truth at all. This was common practice for a while.

Many people got into negative equity as a result.

Deposits were barely mentioned. 100% motgages seemed to be fairly normal, 10% deposit perhaps, but rarely more. This was amongst anyone I even heard tell of which includes people like a colleague's cousin, or uncle Tom Cobbley and all.

It's partly about choices too. What kind of life style do you want?

Our flat that we bought 2 years ago in our 40s is small (luckily it has own entrance and own garden) and we have 2 DDs who share a room. It was our first buy - and most likely our last.

We could have bought a bigger place further away from school, work and family but chose not to.

I can cycle or walk the 3.5 miles to work if I want. DDs can walk to school. We can walk into countryside in 2 minutes and town in 25 mins.

It's not as easy as some people say on here to move away from the area.

I do understand why you would not want to move away as your lives are established but that is your choice and you have to accept the consequences.

I wanted to buy my own home when I was single but I was living in London and there was no chance. I moved to South Wales at 32 and started a new life and bought a terraced house. I miss the lifestyle of London and sometimes think I should have stayed but I know I would probably never have got on the property ladder.

@Boredfromboredshire

Are you on the social housing list? A friend just got a nice one after 6 years of bidding and she didn’t have to become homeless to get it. I know that last sentence doesn’t sound encouraging but she was surprised to get it, after all this time and it’s a nice house in a small and friendly estate.

Giving up iPhones, avocados, moving to a cheaper area & all those things really aren’t going to get me & my DP to be able to save a deposit. The housing market is totally broken.

Well that's your decision to make. What else do you want people to say? Those choices will enable you to get on the housing ladder - thousands of people do it every year and manage to buy property. You'd rather live in Oxford and pay 1200 in rent.

OP yes the market is broken, but it's broken for everyone who wants to buy, not just you. You aren't willing to compromise, so you need to accept you wont ever be able to afford to get on the property ladder in Oxford.

And to everyone saying we have to accept the consequences of our actions, you really aren’t getting the point either.

The problem is high house prices!

Ah right. So the next step is saying that the OP should move her children to the towns with the highest drugs overdoses per capita in the country, in order to get on the housing ladder?

Durham? Lancaster? York? Sheffield? Really???? Fantastic cities, all.

Ah right. So the next step is saying that the OP should move her children to the towns with the highest drugs overdoses per capita in the country, in order to get on the housing ladder?

I live near to one of those shitty areas you've mentioned and plenty of people manage to raise their families here without any problems. Like I said, it's all about choices.

And actually, if we had a similar rental system to Europe, then I wouldn’t mind renting either!

Also drug overdosing, unlike Covid-19, isn't contagious

And to everyone saying we have to accept the consequences of our actions, you really aren’t getting the point either.

The problem is high house prices!

But prices are high for everyone, not just you, and other people are managing to buy. You've said in your posts you don't want to leave Oxford so what do you want people to say? You're choosing to live in an expensive area on relatively low incomes. Of course you can't afford to buy!

Yes high prices are the issue but in your area, not everywhere!

I live near to one of those shitty areas you've mentioned and plenty of people manage to raise their families here without any problems. Like I said, it's all about choices.

I live bang in the middle of one of those cites. Best city in the world. I absolutely fucking love it

I haven't taken an overdose. Of anything!

@vanillandhoney because I have already said it’s difficult to move because of my husbands health & needing to be near family. We don’t have a multitude of choices for that reason

The East Midlands like Derby has very cheap house prices and while there may be some rough parts, there are many areas, which are fine!

Oh, and while we may be houseowners, we watch our DC struggling to buy - what is not to understand?

because I have already said it’s difficult to move because of my husbands health & needing to be near family. We don’t have a multitude of choices for that reason

That's fair enough, but you can't blame the housing market for that.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace what? You mean you can live there and not subject your children to life of abject misery and drug addiction?! Shocking.