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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

is 15yo dd eating too much?

388 replies

nuttyveg · 22/05/2020 16:11

i've posted on teenagers, but i haven't gotten many responses, so i thought i'd post here for traffic.
15yo dd has been eating more recently and i don't know if it's too much or not, she's a healthy weight, not like a beanpole but not fat.
today she's had
2 slices of vegan cheese on seedy toast and a milky coffee made with oat milk and stevia for breakfast
about 5 wedges, 4 mini falafels, 3 oreos and a small handful of salt and vinegar crisps for lunch
4 more oreos as a snack
and will be having chickpea and roasted vegetable soup for dinner with a slice or two of seedy bread
and homemade apple cake with custard for pudding
and she usually has a bowl of cereal with oat milk before bed, so i imagine she will tonight too.
thank you for any responses Smile

OP posts:
Sandleman · 22/05/2020 17:45

Sounds like a normal day for my teenage DDs. Sometimes better, sometimes like this, sometimes worse (when they get into the crisps/chips and fizzy drinks...)

As long as your DD seems happy and healthy (in mind as well as body) I think it’s fine. It’s so impt they feel positive about their body at this age.

I try to encourage mine to fill up on more veg by offering snacks of easy to grab cut up salad: spinach leaves, peppers, cucumber, carrots. For a meal we add olives, hommous, avocado, vegan cheese, few breadsticks/cornchips to make a ‘tasting plate’.

It is hard when they are vegan. Go for seeds, nuts, nut butters etc to fill them up on calories. And bulk up with pulses and veg.

Mine like to make chia pudding with oat milk and cinnamon, also they do smoothies with vegan protein powder and blendef frozen acai berry bowls. I am happy they are so adventurous and engaged in making healthy choices. But they also eat a lot of Oreos and digestives and crisps!

I’m also happy the DDs are not obsessed with diet rules and can indulge in junk food sometimes and enjoy themselves.

I also have a DS who sticks to ‘beige’ food and is underweight so I hope the DDs will have a positive impact on him.

kateandme · 22/05/2020 17:48

if your posting on here in this way i think you need to be careful.ounds like some undertones from mum could get quite shaming for her.sorry but thats what i got from your post

kateandme · 22/05/2020 17:50

i dont think youve got over your ed and you neeed to be really careful your obsession with her daily intake doesnt get into her eyesight.she will pick up on it if i can from one post.and you will be repeating the circle of your own.she shouldnt be focusing on it likle you are.she needs to be intuitive eating within reasonable limits.your post doesnt do that

nuttyveg · 22/05/2020 17:50

@WhereYouLeftIt thank you. i know she hasn't eaten a lot of veg and fruit today, but other days she will eat probably 10 portions in one day, but then she also has days like today where she will eat quite unhealthily. the oreos were a one off as she'd wanted them for ages and i saw them while shopping today so i picked them up for her.

OP posts:
DontStandSoClose · 22/05/2020 17:50

Gosh you are sat noting what she eats, unless she’s 20 stone and struggling to get upstairs leave her to it. I bet you’d be on here moaning she didn’t eat enough if she was picking (even if she was still the same weight!).

RantyAnty · 22/05/2020 17:51

No, she's not overeating. She's probably not eating enough.

She's 15. Just leave her to it. And stop counting her food. Your fixation is probably having a negative effect on her.

How would you know she had 4 oreos as a snack unless you're going in the kitchen every time she goes in there and counting her food?

Okrightbut · 22/05/2020 17:52

OP I don't mean to be unkind but it's very clear yih had an eating disorder. It's not normal to be so aware of what your teenager is eating for a start. Why are you so concerned? Because you equate weight with health and are worried for her health? Feels like she's a very long way from gaining so much weight it has an impact on her health. If indeed she has gained any way at all so why you so worried what are you worried about. It feels like you know pass you're eating issues onto her her sorry.

Franticbutterfly · 22/05/2020 17:53

Doesn't sound a lot at all.

nuttyveg · 22/05/2020 17:53

@RantyAnty because we live in a small flat, and the kitchen is practically inside the living room, without a door. sitting at the sofa you can see everything in the kitchen. we were watching movies together most of today, so when she gets up and gets a snack i see what she has gotten.

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 22/05/2020 17:53

It doesn't sound like very much, she could do with more protein too imo.

Are you all vegans or does she have allergies?

Sandleman · 22/05/2020 17:53

My DC are not vegan but one has has very severe dairy and egg allergies.

They do both eat some naice plain meat / fish every day.

If people don’t have meat it’s so easy for them to eat too many overprocessed carbs to feel full. So try to bulk her meals out in other ways (green veg)

MitziK · 22/05/2020 17:53

i wouldn't unless she was gaining weight

You can't do that to her. She's 15. Putting her on a diet would be the worst possible thing you could do to her - and would actually be a Safeguarding concern, particularly in view of your own history of disordered eating.

She isn't eating enough if what she's eating now is truly representative of her increasing the amount she usually has.

The best thing you can do is back the hell off and make sure your disorders aren't repeated in her life.

ChickenyChick · 22/05/2020 17:54

sounds quite a small amount to me, haha

We all eat more in this house (two teens) and not fat

Just let her eat to appetite without comments

DontStandSoClose · 22/05/2020 17:54

Just noticed your update about you having eating disorders, your behaviour sort of makes sense now. I think you need to keep your opinions/obsessions around monitoring food intake to yourself, there’s a high chance your comments would rub off on her and send her down the same path.

nuttyveg · 22/05/2020 17:55

@DontStandSoClose i've never commented on what she eats to her, as i'm so worried she'd fall down the same path i did.

OP posts:
bringbacksideburns · 22/05/2020 17:57

Sounds perfectly okay to me.

My first thoughts were I wonder if OP has obsessed about food/ had an eating disorder.

Be very careful you don't make her over think every single thing she puts in her mouth.

As long as she's fit, healthy and happy with herself nothing else would concern me. Apart from as a Vegan she needs to make sure she gets enough vitamins and fresh fruit and veg?

My two would happily live on constant takeaways if it was left to them. Their friends are the same. its the norm for them to always be eating and snacking and they are both a healthy weight.Their lockdown mantra has become " What's to eat!??" an hour after any meal.

DontStandSoClose · 22/05/2020 17:58

Well just let her enjoy her food, unless she’s gaining a lot of weight suddenly and her clothes don’t fit I don’t understand why you’d come on to ask is she eating a lot? She’s clearly not as she isn’t fat!

Leflic · 22/05/2020 17:58

It’s all over processed stuff, everything out of a tin or packet. . Get her to cook her own stuff and more fresh fruit and veg.

SiaPR · 22/05/2020 17:58

I swear I read somewhere they have milk or come in contact with milk etc , my apologies if I’m wrong Oreo/Cadbury/Kraft state they are not vegan because there is cross contamination in the manufacturing process so they will contain trace animal products. But most vegans ignore this as everyone needs a treat!

Feefsie · 22/05/2020 17:59

It’s not a lot, but not good quality. Does she eat plain nuts and dried fruits like raisins and dates? She could swap some Oreos for nuts and raisins and a banana. What about beans and pulses, she could have lentil curry and rice with naan for tea instead of soup. Look on Pinterest for some vegan recipes.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 22/05/2020 17:59

I don't think it sounds much at all to be honest
Very carby and not much of any real substance if you know what I mean so she will probably feel hungry often. To echo what others have said
I know boys and girls are different but at the moment DS2 (13) for example is slim and is really getting muscly and looking more like a man every day. He has said he is annoyed at how hungry he is all the time 😂
Typically in a day he will eat 2 slices of toast with a poached egg on each, lunch 2 tortilla wraps fulilled with tuna mayo and salad or ham and salad, pack of crisps, yog, cereal bar, banana, smoothie, peperami. Dinner large plate of whatever dinner is, often seconds then pudding. Before bed he will ask for toast.

kateandme · 22/05/2020 17:59

you have commented.trust me she will see it in what your behaving like.it will hurt just as much as words.everyone on here can see it by a few posts.you need to get this under control before you really dmage her sorry.

angieloumc · 22/05/2020 18:00

OP, like you I don't allow my 15 yo to eat in her room though she can in her study. I'm WFH at the moment and today she's had;
shreddies with ss milk,
ham sandwich (wholemeal bread), watermelon wedges,
5 pringles (strange number but she eats 5 at a time!)
2 homemade oat cookies
tea will be Cajun chicken, baked potato and salad, strawberries and cream for pudding.
My DD has put some weight on in lockdown as she can't skate or play netball atm but I'm not worrying too much as her clothes aren't tight on her.

nuttyveg · 22/05/2020 18:02

@WaxOnFeckOff she's vegan, me and dh are vegetarian.

OP posts:
kateandme · 22/05/2020 18:02

and youve just canceled out your original post by saying she has 10 portions odf veg on other days!so you have omintored and judged and shamed her for one day out of many