Small changes that have made a big difference

[Idtwins]

Talk me through small changes you have made in your life that have mad a big difference particularly in terms of your mood/self esteem. Thanks

Saved £25 monthly into an account I couldn't touch over 10 years- when I know I would have frittered that money away.

Got insurance for if I lose my job. £10 a month and it's beginning to look like it was one of the best moves I ever made. The mortgage will be paid for a year (£900 a month) if it happens, which may be this week if it does.

Reminding myself to feel grateful fot what I have. I try to think of three things when I'm having my morning tea. Today it's because I've already got sunscreen, and I've lollies in so I don't need to go to the shop and the third is I've got a garden to enjoy the glorious weather.

Love this thread, thank you
I'm not one for exercising but could feel myself slowly slipping under so made myself do an hours walk daily. After a little while I enjoyed it so much I missed it if I couldn't get out. My crosstrainer was gathering dust (and clothes!) so I jump on for a couple of songs when I can. Just getting a bit of time for myself, listening to music and getting the heart working is making me feel brighter

Some brilliant ideas on this thread!

Mine are...
Coming off Facebook (ages ago)
Recognising when something isn't working and letting go
Saving consistently
Shopping less
Finding happiness in the little things (cup of tea, sun is shining, my cat, etc).
Letting go of the need to be constantly doing

Gusto meal boxes! I genuinely look forward to cooking every night now. I’ve tried so many delicious meals and it take away the anxiety of meal planning and shopping. I only got it for the deal but couldn’t live without it now!

Learning that no is a full sentence. I was an insufferable people pleaser before and it was making myself sick running ragged for other people who wouldn't do the same for me. I've lost a lot of people I thought were friends in the process but I know now I'm better off without them.

Not watching the news. So much of it is commentary rather than news anyway and it emphasises the wrong issues. I've lapsed a bit with the Corona virus stuff, but mainly watched the briefings until they began to omit info I wanted.
Sometimes a discussion will come up on forums I'm on (especially Mumsnet) which I follow up if it sound interesting or relevant.

Buying less. Obviously on lockdown, but also less online. Especially clothes.

Listening to more music. This is something that's been possible on lockdown but makes such a difference to mood, I will try to continue it if I go back to work, instead of being too busy.

Having been through a tough time recently with very seriously ill parents and with challenging behaviour from the kids, I found it very easy to get worried and depressed, so I've found trying my best to see something positive in every situation (eg my parents are ill, but I am seeing them a lot and spending lots of time chatting with them, etc) Really actively trying to find something good about anything bad. It's helped give me a more positive mind-set and sense of calm.

Also try to do at least an hour's gardening every day. It's been great to get the fresh air and watch the garden improve.

Best thing I ever did was stop worrying about other peoples needs and demands before my kids and my own. I learnt to say 'no'. I have a friend who is a complete people pleaser and it is actually quite scary to see how she gets herself all tied up in knots by not saying 'no' early on. She then gets resentful if things don't go right- it was me a couple of years back and I won't ever do it again.

Coming off Facebook has improved my MH greatly. After being off about a week I felt completely lifted. It's now been about 6 months and I don't miss it one bit in fact now I find some parts of it a bit odd really. Still use Twitter but there are some VERY opinionated people on there so don't delve too deep.

Never watch the 10pm news- going to bed with some haunting images was really disturbing me and making me really anxious. Can educate myself during the day when I can process things better.

Don't let my laundry bin overflow- can't cope with the mess but it also bottlenecks at every point (drying, ironing, putting away)- little and often is the way forward for me.

Started saving- used to be a complete overspender. Now can't cope with too much "stuff" everywhere and really get more pleasure out of knowing I have some financial security than buying something I don't really need.

Keep revisiting each area of the house for decluttering. Makes daily tidying so much easier.

To the people who have given up Facebook , are you still on any other sort of SM like instagram or whatsapp ?

I'm off facebook, twitter and was never on instagram. I still use FB messenger and whatsapp. MN is my only social media, if you can call it that.

I found that social media made me sad and stressed, and played into my tendency to dissociate and not feel committed to my own life.

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I deactivated my FB and set up a new one with no friends purely to join hobby groups. Occasionally I have the urge to look at the old one and I always feel crap afterwards as it’s still shit!

When in doubt say yes (also to yourself) (not applicable to shady men or sex). I used to say no a lot but by saying yes my social life got a lot better and my attitude to trying out things solo (going out for dinner alone or going to the movies alone) made my life a whole lot nicer. I also invite people to do stuff easier. At first I was hesitant because what if we had nothing in common or I didn't like them. By just doing it and removing the doubt I discovered how easy it can be to make a new friend if you just ask them to go with you to a market/ shopping/museum/ botanical garden walk and give yourselves a chance to get to know each other better. You don't have to know each other that well to try out stuff together.

Also, weighing my food. It's so easy nowadays to forget what a portion size is. I habitually weigh out portions of anything carby or fatty. Lost a stone without feeling deprived.

@frumpety I'm on Whatsapp, FB messenger and Twitter. I don't follow anyone on twitter apart from some historical pages that are helping me with a personal interest.

Learning to enjoy what I have without striving for more. I don't need a bigger home, newer car or latest tech gadget. Instead I have savings for the first time in my adult life.

@Siameasy - I like your comments - totally agree about sunshine. I never use sunscreen day to day. We need sunlight. It's good for us. I'm intrigued about the link you suggest between fast and depression, keto and mood-lifting.

But right now I feel the opposite about caring too much. I've spent years focusing on happy stuff, avoiding the news as it is so depressing. But I started to feel like I wasn't allowing the full set of emotions. I now think it's fine to be angry when you feel let down by your government, for example . Not to obsess on it but to feel alive, we will have a full range of emotions, not all of which are upbeat, but it's a positive experience to feel them all and be honest about their existence (if that makes sense.)

fat not fast

CBD oil. I used to have joint pain all the time which was really draining.

Proper sleep. I know it’s easier said than done when you’re balancing a million things and have young children, but going to bed earlier/not scrolling on phone in bed for ages has made me consistently feel better and healthier. Investing more money in decent bed linens/mattresses has been invaluable too.

Being open (yet kind/polite) if I don’t want to go to events/occasions. I spent most of my 20s attending anything I was invited to because I felt obligated, or pretended I had other plans if I really didn’t fancy it. Particularly with work social stuff I didn’t really want to attend to but felt I should. Feeling able to say ‘actually I don’t fancy that/it’s not my thing’ without justifying further has really changed that (although not such an issue in lockdown...).

My mental health has been pretty poor recently and today I took myself off for a 5k walk. I am actually amazed by how much better it has made me feel, and I haven't wanted to finish off a bottle of wine tonight like I've been doing far too often. I'm feeling so much more positive and I just hope this continues because I need to get out of the rut I've got myself into. Looking forward to tomorrow's 5k!