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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not see anything meaningful in this home security footage

133 replies

OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 21/05/2020 05:02

Just wondering if anyone can see anything I'm missing in this home security footage. It's from a couple of years ago but what it shows has been an active debate for me and my ex-husband. Back story isn't important. Just curious as to what others see in the footage. Note: It's blurry because it's pointed towards a street light. For context, the camera is at the front door pointing into the front garden.
ring.com/share/6702065164243721783

OP posts:

MashedSpud · 21/05/2020 06:43

It’s not your job to deal with your paranoid ex.

Unless you have small kids you need to get him out of your life.

PurpleThistles84 · 21/05/2020 06:44

I see something/someone entering left and stopping under the street light, something else coming in from the right to the streetlight then leaving again to the right. Whether it’s people or not I don’t know.

GreenTeaMug · 21/05/2020 06:45

the moving shape moves like an animal.

I do not thin you need to be 'helping' him either. he needs professional help and probably medication if that is what he is getting out of that video.

Aposterhasnoname · 21/05/2020 06:45

Wow, just, wow. That’s some delusional shit right there. You are well rid of that one.

Bakeachocolatecaketoday · 21/05/2020 06:47

There is absolutely nothing on there. There are some variations of light but nothing else.

Original poster

OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 21/05/2020 06:48

GreenTeaMug - he is getting professional help (or was) and he's on meds but I don't think his psychiatrist is doing the right treatment with him. You are all correct in that I don't have to and shouldn't be helping him but after 20 years, we only know each other and our kids. I know we will never get back together but I'd really like to help him see the light even if just for the kids. He doesn't want or need a villain in his life and I don't want to be anyone's villain.

OP posts:

TwistyHair · 21/05/2020 06:51

Delusions don’t work on logic and evidence though. So even if you had this proof, there would be another reason why he was right. Eg, you tampered with evidence, changed it, someone else tampered with it etc etc

Jenasaurus · 21/05/2020 06:53

Well I enlarged it to full screen and saw a huge alien blob in the form of a giant spider walking away...

Mnthrowaway20202 · 21/05/2020 06:57

Has he shown this footage to his psychiatrist?

pictish · 21/05/2020 06:58

There is something/someone moving in from the right at the beginning and it/they move back to the right at the end. It it’s a grey blob of course so whether it’s a person, a fox, a dog cannot be seen. It’s a pretty shit camera...pointless if that’s the footage. It’s certainly not video evidence of anything.

Anyway, sorry to learn of your ex’s issue. That’s a terrible shame. I hope he can overcome it and have a happy future.

Gncq · 21/05/2020 07:02

He sees ppl shagging in that clip?
Crikey.

FWIW I see a cat driving past towards the end

Why would anyone be shagging outside in the rain?

Original poster

OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 21/05/2020 07:05

Mnthrowaway20202 - doubtful that he has shown the dr. He interpretted the footage the way he did and then I don't think he looked at it again. What he saw is what is in his head.
Hey, thanks pictish. It is a shame and he's not a social person so no one is going to help him aside from me. I don't think it's good for anyone going through life seeing things that aren't there (not just in that video - everywhere)! In addition to his meds, he's also on anti-depressants because the whole thing has him so miserable.

OP posts:

JayAlfredPrufrock · 21/05/2020 07:09

I really don’t see anything at all.

Original poster

OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 21/05/2020 07:10

Gncq - delusions don't follow logic or reason unfortunately. He may not have said he actually saw that - maybe assumed - but regardless, having that footage as your definite proof needs addressing. Now, if I can just find a way to gently nudge him towards reading the post - nahhh, probably not a good idea. A couple of people said they saw two people and he will probably grab hold of those thoughts and not see the others at all. Maybe I'll pass the video onto his doctor.
Thanks so much everyone for your input.

OP posts:

FixItUpChappie · 21/05/2020 07:11

It seemed to me maybe a figure moved from right to left but that's it.

I'm sorry OP that sounds really hard and sad for all of you

daisychain01 · 21/05/2020 07:12

I've decided I won't pursue a career as a forensic scientist or detective, because I can't see anything even moving.!

OP I'm concerned that you feel some need to fix your ex's mental health problem. You are not best placed to do that. Get him to seek proper help. All he will do is chip away at your self esteem by accusing you and being convinced he has (nonexistent) video footage.

Please please move on with your life.

VettiyaIruken · 21/05/2020 07:15

I've deliberately not read the thread in case it affected what I thought I could see.

I see nothing. Just spots of light and grey fog. To me it looks like the lens needs a good clean.

InfiniteSheldon · 21/05/2020 07:19

I had a paranoid very jealous ex that decided he'd seen me having sex on the opposite neighbours lawn. He also called his best friends wife and told her that her dh and I were having an affair. He was mentally ill. I left him. Like other posters I think the issue here is your behaviour. Why on earth do you need to canvas opinion on such a non video. He is delusional you can't help him you can only question your need to help him. That shows a problem on your part you should deal with if you want a happy life.

Original poster

OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 21/05/2020 07:20

daisychain01 - I know. It's been almost a year and we are far from being over each other. The whole Coronavirus pandemic made if difficult for us both in terms of isolation etc as we were both very lonely. We do spend time together as a family, though of course it's all a bit strained. We are trying to make the best of a bad situation and I suspect I will never help him past his delusion. But, I know I will feel better within myself in knowing that I did everything I could to help him.

OP posts:

mathanxiety · 21/05/2020 07:21

You simply have to let him get on with his delusion or you too will start to suffer.

There is no evidence or logic or reasonable explanation that will make him see the truth.

He doesn't want or need a villain in his life and I don't want to be anyone's villain.
He has a villain in his life.
It is so very frustrating and shocking after so long a relationship that it is you. Of course you want, and in fact need, to fix this, to make him see sense and listen to reason. That is not going to happen.

Nothing that you say or do or show him will make a dent in this delusion. This is a horrible position to be in but you have no choice but to refuse to discuss it if he brings it up on grounds that it is a symptom of his MH problem, or tell him you will not discuss his delusional accusation. Walk away if necessary. Don't bring it up yourself.

Let his psychiatrist work on him.

You are entitled to set very clear boundaries with him as to what you will listen to in the meantime. Please do this.

But stop trying to reason with him. You will end up finding your mind focusing on this far too much, crying with frustration, losing sleep.

mathanxiety · 21/05/2020 07:23

Please find some sort of therapy for yourself so that you can come to terms with the new and horrible reality you are dealing with.

minisoksmakehardwork · 21/05/2020 07:26

They’re animals of some description. Be it cats, foxes whatever. The movement from left to right is clearly a 4 legged creature.

I watched the video both before and after your explanation and I still don’t see how it could be what your ex says. Sadly until he speaks to someone not connected to you and shows them his evidence, he’s not going to see it. Anything you do to either encourage him to share with his dr or send it yourself is just going to feed into his paranoia.

Baddit · 21/05/2020 07:29

YABU to go down this route of trying to 'disprove' his mindset. You may think you're helping him but it will just end up affecting your mental health too

DameHannahRelf · 21/05/2020 07:31

Isn't there a saying like "you can't argue with crazy"? He's defo delusional, there's no way that's people going at it (unless it was the quickest shag in history, lasting all of about 5 seconds). I hope he gets the help he needs (and if he did show his Dr this, it would at least give his Dr a better idea of how just how far gone he was/ is, so to speak).

I agree with pp though, maybe take a step back, for the sake of your own mental health?

Wynston · 21/05/2020 07:32

I see movement although no idea what it is human or animal just the light changes colour.
I kept thinking it was one of those horrible clips where something jumps out and screams.

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