Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you lend something to someone...

37 replies

smoodgy · 20/05/2020 19:33

About 2 years ago, my partner was lent something for a baby by someone at his work (in a school).

The item costs about £20. We didn’t use it, but stored it. Upon his return to work he forgot about it and didn’t return the item, which the lady didn’t request back.

We’ve since moved house approximately two hours away from his work and therefore this lady’s house (he has a new job starting September).

The lady texted him today saying she needed the item back.

My partner responded that he can deliver it back to her in two weeks when he goes to work for the day.

She has requested he order her a new one from amazon as she needs it ASAP. I have said no, partner wants to keep the peace.

Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 20/05/2020 19:35

She can wait. It could easily take 2 weeks for Amazon to deliver at this point, and she must realise that in the current circumstances she can't expect anyone to be doing 2 hour journeys like this.

KrisAkabusi · 20/05/2020 19:35

You. You have her property and she needs it. For the sake of 20 quid, replace it if you can't get it to her.

recycledteenager24 · 20/05/2020 19:35

i'd return the original depending on what it was.

LoudBatPerson · 20/05/2020 19:37

Could not just send the item to her by post/courier?

highmarkingsnowbile · 20/05/2020 19:37

I'd post her the original.

Ninkanink · 20/05/2020 19:37

Post it to her.

Viviennemary · 20/05/2020 19:37

She is. Tell her to collect it herself or wait two weeks. I wouldn't replace it. I might post the item.

Bibijayne · 20/05/2020 19:40

Post it back. Problem solved.

WobblingMyWigglyBits · 20/05/2020 19:40

I think you are
You should have returned it as soon as you realised you weren't going to use it 9

Original poster
smoodgy · 20/05/2020 19:43

Postage costs £12 and won’t be next day. She can wait 2 weeks.

OP posts:
TheThingWithFeathers · 20/05/2020 19:44

She is being unreasonable. Give her it back as soon as you can, or post it, but do not replace it. If she needs another one that badly she can buy it herself.

Ninkanink · 20/05/2020 19:47

Ok yes, she can wait. Although he/you really should have remembered and returned it long ago.

BumpBundle · 20/05/2020 19:49

YABU - so is she.

  1. You should have returned it as soon as you realised that you didn't need it. You don't keep things that people have let you borrow for years for no reason.
  2. She can't expect you to just drop everything and break lockdown to return an item immediately that she's not needed for years. She also can't expect you to purchase her a brand new one because she can't wait.
You're both being unreasonable and it sounds like your OH is the only one trying to keep the peace. For the sake of his work relationships, just buy her a new one. It's not fair on him that your stubbornness creates an awkward situation for him. Equally, she wouldn't be invited for dinner anymore and wouldn't be getting a Christmas card after this ridiculousness.
HollowTalk · 20/05/2020 19:56

Why can't you post it tomorrow?

gamerchick · 20/05/2020 19:58

Is anyone else really curious to what it is?

Pukkatea · 20/05/2020 20:00

Just get her a new one and stop being stubborn. People who lend you stuff are doing you a favour.

Tropical2 · 20/05/2020 20:00

You - You should have returned the item when you no longer needed it, not stored it away. You certainly should have returned the item when you moved house, not took it with you.

I would send it via Courier (Hermes, DPD...) or order her a new one, whichever is cheaper.

UnfinishedSymphon · 20/05/2020 20:06

A £20 item which you've had for 2 years and now she wants it back? What on earth is it? Definitely don't buy a new one, she's a bit odd for requesting something back out of the blue after so long but just give the original back...when you can

Linguaphile · 20/05/2020 20:38

This happened to us once with a car seat. It was already knackered (tho had never been in an accident) from the lady’s previous three children, and I genuinely thought it was a ‘you can use what’s left of it’ gift as I doubt she’d have been able to sell it for even a tenner on her local FB group. We moved abroad a few months after the birth and took it with us for occasional use. Anyway, out of the blue nearly two years later, she very curtly messaged and (knowing we were living in another country) asked for it back. I was a bit gobsmacked, not least because by that time it was definitely due for replacement anyway with the safety lifespan... I didn’t want to cause a scene so ended up buying her a new one on Amazon. 🙄

Ohtherewearethen · 20/05/2020 20:44

I voted YABU as I think it's very poor manners to keep something somebody has loaned you for so long. Why did you keep it if you had no use for it? When you packed up to move house you should have returned it. Just pay to post it to her or buy her a new one.

zscaler · 20/05/2020 20:57

She can wait. After 2 years she can wait two weeks. Or if it’s that urgent, she can come and get it herself.

thebear1 · 20/05/2020 21:00

She was kind enough to lend it to you, you haven't bothered to return it in 2 years and she now needs it. I think you should post it back, drop it off or buy a new one.

carlywurly · 20/05/2020 21:06

Oh god, this is why I never borrow anything if I can help it. So many people try and foist stuff on you while you're pregnant too.

imsooverthisdrama · 20/05/2020 21:09

Yeah I need to know what it is .
But tell her amazon delivery is 4 weeks so will be quicker to wait .

Cosyblanky · 20/05/2020 21:14

I would be so embarssed if I was your husband. Why cause such bad feeling for £20? Get a new one delivered to her or send the old one plus a thank you gift and apologies.