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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have a fucking moan at you all?

43 replies

AreYouAchinForSomeBacon · 20/05/2020 14:33

I'm so fucking fed up. I have given up today and my SDC are downstairs playing games for the rest of the day whilst I'm in bed eating chocolate feeling sorry for myself.

Does anyone else feel like they can't keep going like this for much longer before losing what's left of their sanity?

I'm not working but I am studying for a degree I was doing before lockdown started. I'm also looking after DHs children as both parents are keyworkers and so I thought I'd offer thinking it'd be fine yes I'm naive as fuck

I know a lot of you are going through this too but I just need to moan for a second about school work, arguing children never wanting to do anything but play video games even in the beautiful sun, feeling like I can't sit down to do my work for 5 minutes without hearing my name being shouted or having to break up an argument because one of them had more crisps in their packet than the other or they breathed too close to the other one.

I'm slowly losing the will and today I've just fucked it all off, my motivation has gone, it's been zapped, they've done no schoolwork, I've done no work either, we've not even been outside. I've made them food and now I'm going to have a nap whilst they entertain themselves because I seriously can't be arsed anymore.

I know tomorrow I'll have to get back on the horse and get going again but right now I'm done Smile

OP posts:
mbosnz · 20/05/2020 14:35

Fair enough too!

How old are they?

HappyHammy · 20/05/2020 14:38

You've hit the wall. Dont stress about it. Have a nap. Order a takeaway tonight. Will sdc go back to their own home later. Sometimes it all just builds up and it feels overwhelming. Flowers

Original poster
AreYouAchinForSomeBacon · 20/05/2020 14:38

One just turned 7 & the other is 9.

They are usually so well behaved but I think all this is getting to them now and they are bored and missing their friends understandably, so they are being little devils today just getting on each others nerves constantly.

I've set them up with their games in seperate rooms now just for some peace 😂🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Ninkanink · 20/05/2020 14:40

You are coping! Everyone needs a day off once in a while, and today is yours! And the children’s! You’ll all feel hugely better for it and tomorrow’s a new day.

Fluffybutter · 20/05/2020 14:40

Yanbu, I just could not be arsed today , have severe restless leg at night so not sleeping well and then doing school work with dd which is tedious and next doors yappy fucker of a dog barking if I even as much as step foot outside

Original poster
AreYouAchinForSomeBacon · 20/05/2020 14:40

I saw a thread before asking how much game/screen time was too much and it's made me bloody depressed because these two have been on theirs for hours now! But I just can't face anymore right now.

OP posts:
GinDaddyRedux · 20/05/2020 14:42

What is an SDC and does it make any difference?

Mumdiva99 · 20/05/2020 14:42

Sack off school work for the day. Get out the paddling pool (they are not too old). Set up your sun lounger and get a boomti read. Put swim shorts and towels in a pile make some plastic bottles of squash/water available and enjoy the sun. Later on take them for a walk. Then order the takeaway for tea. Tomorrow is another day.

Original poster
AreYouAchinForSomeBacon · 20/05/2020 14:43

Should have been DSC @GinDaddyRedux. Its DStepChildren.

OP posts:
mbosnz · 20/05/2020 14:45

Yep, you've reached one of those days where you all hit your limit of just how much you can deal with.

Sack school and your work, off, make with the naughty treats for you all, do something that you normally wouldn't do that makes you feel better ( maybe a day unlimited on devices), and just hibernate from life for a bit.

Perfectly normal in such a situation. Because the situation isn't normal.

Rosebel · 20/05/2020 14:48

Shouldn't worry my teens haven't done any work since Monday. I just can't face nagging them and decided to let it slide for a,day or two. I will have to get them back to it tomorrow but at the minute they are in their room playing on their tablets and quiet!
Don't stress,take the day off.

Ninkanink · 20/05/2020 14:50

It’s all about balance. Some days they’ll be on it a lot less, some days a lot more. It’s what happens overall that counts.

GinDaddyRedux · 20/05/2020 14:51

@AreYouAchinForSomeBacon

Ah got you I stand informed and thank you!

Like previous posters said, be as kind to yourself as you possibly can. Let them have a day indulging etc. Then take away the crisps and the consoles another day (when you're feeling stronger!) and they'll freak a bit perhaps but they'll soon find something to do and engage once boredom sets in.

I'm a huge fan of boredom actually. As a child it was a great spur for me to pick up my colouring pencils, my pen, a book, and just do something random for a couple of hours. I think kids need to be allowed to get bored sometimes even if it's initially painful, so that they can then go and draw upon their inner resourcefulness and do something themselves.

Hope you can get lots of you time today. It's a horrendous situation for everyone as someone earlier said.

Original poster
AreYouAchinForSomeBacon · 20/05/2020 14:54

I think kids need to be allowed to get bored sometimes even if it's initially painful

I think this is one of my biggest problems. I feel like I have to find stuff to entertain them all of the time if I won't let them go on their games. I need to get better at leaving them to find something else to do or even just give them a couple of pointers but then leave them to it.

I feel like if I'm the one saying no screens then I have to be the one to make whatever else they do fun. Which is just draining tbh 😂

OP posts:
poorbuthappy · 20/05/2020 15:01

I've given my 2 year 6s the day off today (and then came to work for some peace... Grin)

It was just becoming a massive battle every day.
They know they have until Friday to get the week's work done.

GinDaddyRedux · 20/05/2020 15:03

@AreYouAchinForSomeBacon

Absolutely - it is draining! And I think you're spot on, you're so right - allowing them time and space to gravitate to what they want to do (that isn't screens) is no bad thing at all.

I think for today though like others said there's nothing wrong with writing off a day and letting everyone sink into a bit of a heat induced stupor. It's hot, lots of families are tired and sluggish, so be it.

Original poster
AreYouAchinForSomeBacon · 20/05/2020 15:08

I feel like I started this as the perfect lockdown SM. I thought we'd be doing lots of baking and painting, and crafts and walking and everyone would laugh and enjoy so much time together 😂😂

Now I'm just counting down the seconds until they to to bed and I can sprawl on the sofa in peace and I don't have to share my chocolate

I lied today when they asked if there was any of a particular treat left in the cupboard (they've eaten most of it already!) Because I just want to enjoy it myself later 😂

OP posts:
Weallhavevalidopinions · 20/05/2020 15:26

Yep, take time out to recharge, don't feel guilty and have some you time. A day off won't hurt them at all.

Wilberforce1 · 20/05/2020 15:29

6 & 11 year olds here and we haven't done any work this week so far because none of us can be bothered. I'll get them back to it tomorrow but a few days off won't hurt, just relax for a bit.

Wellyouknowbest · 20/05/2020 15:50

I cried this morning because mine (8 and 12) weren't ready to go for a walk after giving them loads of warning. I didn't want to go in the boiling sun and wanted to get out before everyone else was out. I've been really helping with their school work, and quite easy with bed time and screen time but I ended up being mean mum today, and woah what a surprise they can do it. I was around but not hand feeding them their school work. Feel like I've had the piss taken out of me a lot, and if the teachers had rang me today I might have broken down crying to them too!
I can still do it but it was bad today.
So OP I feel you. If they're fed and safe and busy just have yourself some time to yourself. That's what I'm doing, about to give them their 5 min warning that I'm going for a bath so they better not knock on that door 😠😬

earthyfire · 20/05/2020 16:00

Not alone, I feel exactly the same. Last week my DD aged 10 did hardly any school work and I didn't push her because frankly I'd also lost the motivation. My DS 12 has been getting on with his work because he is able to get on with it himself but they are both arguing more than they ever have. They also don't want to go out in the garden, but I don't blame them - my next door neighbours are having a large extension built and their next door neighbours are doing a loft conversion, so the noise is hell at the moment and a pain in the backside when my children are trying to take part in the odd live lesson they've had this week.

Tootletum · 20/05/2020 16:02

OH YES I could have written this. And I feel the same despite them being my biological children. Plus I've got really fat cos can't be arsed to exercise.

mbosnz · 20/05/2020 16:04

Is it possible to get your DH to pick up wine, takeout and rather too much of what you fancy on the way home?

I really hope he and Mum are being appreciative, because it sounds like you are trying so hard, and actually doing a very good job. (And if anyone wants to give me arseholes about how it should just be a given that OP is doing this, then naff off. Quite frankly sometimes I'd happily flog my own kids off. . . )

RedCouch · 20/05/2020 16:08

Sounds like a rest day will do you the world of good! Enjoy. You'll feel recharged and ready to get stuck in again tomorrow I'll bet. Everything can wait til then

BogRollBOGOF · 20/05/2020 16:10

7 & 9
9yo has autism, dyspraxia and dyslexia.
He is not a good role model for a positive learning attitude...
We're lucky if we get any written work done, and we're just making a token gesture with BBC biesize and some generic workbooks for their school year so that their brains don't atrophy completely.

When the school announces that y2 and y4 are welcome, they can have my DCs within 3 minutes. Fortunately, I'm rubbish at sports so can't carrythe DCs 2 minutes down the road and javelin then over the school fence.

I love them, but there were reasons why I trained in secondary, or indeed entrusted them into the state system... Grin

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