AIBU to be upset for loosing my job over this?

[Mushu92]

After being unemployed for a couple of years due to chronic illness and then going to university as a mature student, I got a temporary job as an English language teacher (to cover someone who was unwell). At the interview, the lady was looking over my CV and suddenly said something like "Oh! Whoever looked at your application didn't look at it properly. We wanted someone with more experience than this, but it's too late now." For context, I had a teaching certificate from about 4 years prior and one year's part time experience.
Anyway, she gave me the job which was four hours a day for one week, with the possibility of more cover work in the future. The first few days went well, but then something went wrong. I was using lesson plans and materials made by the teacher I was covering for and I hadn't noticed that an exercise was missing from their worksheets. Some of the students noticed and started to look worried and confused. I realized what had happened and told them not to worry, to move on to the next exercise. There still seemed to be confusion so I went around the room and checked each student understood and got them to move on. I didn't think anything more of it, but the next day my boss came up to me and said a large group of students had complained about my teaching after that class, saying that they didn't understand what was going on, I had confused them and provided them with a worksheet that had a missing item. She asked me if I had given them the worksheets and not told them what to do. I said no, I explained everything, I just didn't notice that mistake at first. She didn't seem convinced and said "Well, it's partly not your fault." After that she randomly turned up in the middle of my lesson to observe me, which I guess was fine. After I had completed the week, she said she didn't think I was suitable to continue, and maybe I could contact them again when I had more experience.
I don't have much of an issue with her not wanting to keep me on (although it's a bit annoying that everyone wants you to be experienced, but then won't provide you with said experience), but I felt extremely anxious and guilty that a gang of the students had complained about me. Most of the lesson they were texting on their phones or just sitting staring into space not doing their work. They are paying a lot of money for that course, so I could understand with me being an inexperienced teacher they didn't feel like they were getting their money's worth, but they didn't seem interested or motivated during the lesson anyway.
This has completely knocked my confidence. I'm sure it seems pathetic and like I'm being too sensitive. When I told my friend about she said "meh, forget about it." It was a huge deal for me to work there, if only for a week. I am still dealing with a chronic illness and have really low self confidence. I had such a positive experience with a different group of students at the start of the week and it just keeps going around in my head that I was a terrible teacher. I don't know how to stop feeling awful over this experience and scared to work again.

As a relatively new teacher it can be very difficult to go into the classroom especially to a group of students you've never met.
Obviously you need to check materials you're using....great in theory but even with 20 years in ELT I still forget to check things. As an example, and a fairly recent one, I used a worksheet with a group of teenagers that mentioned cassettes... they didn't have a clue (and I also felt very old).
Drop in observations by Senior Teaching/Director of studies are perfectly normal and should be used as part of the performance management cycle but do need to be developmental so you should have been told what worked and what didn't.
Students being on their phones and not focussed is more difficult and depends a lot on their age. It's far more common in teenagers who are often there because their parents have told them to be (especially on summer/Easter courses) and who would much rather be out shopping in Primark or in Starbucks. Have a no phone policy.... they get put in a box at the start of the lesson or take them off them when needed. Alternatively look at work they can do using their phones and Wi-Fi. If older students, remind them of classroom culture, if they receive calls they have to take them outside, phones should be off or silent... Look into their motivation and learning styles, find out why they are there and what their expectations are, manage the lesson to suit their needs.
It is more difficult when taking over a class as you don't have the opportunity to get to know the students. They may just have a preference to their 'normal'/ previous teacher.... it's a common complaint to hear 'we liked teacher x better, we want teacher x' .... tough!! It doesnt mean you're a rubbish teacher.
Don't give up, it does get easier but you will still have days that aren't so good. Try and work out what age of learner you prefer teaching...children, teens, adults? Get voluntary experience, ask at language schools if you can observe teachers. Send your CV out everywhere when normality resumes.
Use this time to develop. FutureLearn have freebie courses and International House, the British Council and I think Bell all have paid for developmental courses you can take.
Alternatively, look for a different career path. The current situation means many language schools etc (including The British Council) are facing serious financial problems especially now, where they are coming into what is their most profitable period (UK based schools).

*I was using lesson plans and materials made by the teacher I was covering for and I hadn't noticed that an exercise was missing from their worksheet.

This was your first job - you should have been better prepared than this. Just taking the lazy way and using the other teacher's worksheets, without having bothered to check if they were complete, wasn't a good start. You shot yourself in the foot by being unprepared.

Just taking the lazy way and using the other teacher's worksheets, without having bothered to check if they were complete, wasn't a good start. Did you not read why she had so little time to prepare.

And why no criticism of the experienced, absent teacher who gave her such shoddy laterial to work with?

and yet always spell "lose" as "loose" every time?

I don't mean to be critical, but by "every time" did you mean "once"? Was it too difficult for you to read up to the bit where she explained it as a typo?

@stellabelle This was literally what I was instructed to do. I wasn't suppose to make a whole new lesson for them. I also devised some games and ice breakers for them. I made a mistake on that day by missing the error that was made on the worksheet, I've admitted that and I felt very bad about it. Calling me lazy is kind of rude. I'm not lazy.

It's not easy to teach from notes and lesson plans prepared by others. You can use this situation in two ways.

1. Get upset and give up
2. Pick yourself up and use is a experience, you won't forget to check for worksheets again.

In life things go wrong or not as planned these are valuable lessons that help build us into better more experienced people. Giving up will not teach you anything, get back out there with your chin up and carry on.

@saleorbouy I needed to hear this. Thank you.
@katscamel Thank you for the thoughtful reply I will check out those resources.

Experience really is the key tbh, it gets much much easier to read the room, know when you’re not connecting etc when you’ve been round the block a few times. It’s also important to not take things personally - the students aren’t usually out to make your life a misery.

In this situation it’s about picking what you’re going to prepare - with experience you’d have a toolkit of icebreakers and energisers you’re draw on so wouldn’t been to prepare them much in advance. You could then focus on the material that’s been left and decide how you wanted to deliver it in class (and check everything is there).

I do think with teaching/training experience is so key - rather than writing it off as not for you why not take the feedback on the chin and look to gain much more experience in any role where you need to hold folks interest. It was one bad experience - there will be other good and not so good times, but on balance you’ll learn your craft well, prep will take less time and you’re confidence will increase.

I feel you get really tired and have some cognitive difficulties, then I'm afraid teaching isn't for you. That doesn't mean you can't do any other job though! If you want to work in education, think about being a TA for a while to build up your experience.
In the example you gave of missing items, a good supply teacher will have checked beforehand wherever possible that everything needed for the lesson was there. Obviously if you're brought in to cover someone who's off sick at very short notice that's not always possible, but in this instance it was possible.
If I were you, I'd contact the person who observed you and ask for honest feedback. That's the only way you're going to improve.

I would think teaching would be one of the worst jobs if you suffer from cognitive tiredness- I am a lecturer and I get exhausted easily with student engagement, and mine are well behaved and facing the front! We go through things like rules about phones early on so it's all established.

Perhaps whole class teaching just isn't for you, it is an exhausting profession. I agree one on one or another type of path may be better. This isn't saying 'you aren't good enough' and I think the example you give was not terrible anyway, a missing example is nothing, but I am not sure I see the point in trying to collect a lot of experience for something that may not suit you in the longer term. One of my relatives does English lessons for business abroad and that's one to one and well paid, although as you say, it can go up and down.

@Goatinthegarden I'd disagree, it takes two to tango. I think in our culture nowadays we have let teachers take all the blame. Kids don't engage? Teacher's fault. Kids don't do homework? Teacher's fault. Kids misbehave? Teacher's fault. Kids bully you? Teacher's fault.

I'm sorry, but I think we really as a nation need to instill a bit of responsability in students. Sure, some teaching is poor, but often the expectations of young people to provide 'fun' lessons are putting a lot of pressure, while some students only consider wathing a film as fun.

I worked in a few places over the last 10 years, and work ethics unfortunately is shocking in some places. It's possible to turn things around if you have a supportive SLT and parents who back you up. This is not always the case.

Is this a joke thread? You’re an English Language teacher yet your post is littered with grammatical errors and you’ve misspelled losing in your title!

Is there one to one work you can do like literacy training? What type of illness have you? Also, could you do other training like workforce health and safety or some other business training. You could post in the career forum too, someone might have some ideas that suit your illness.

Is this a joke thread? You’re an English Language teacher yet your post is littered with grammatical errors and you’ve misspelled losing in your title! Yeah! Grrr!

Like that hasn't even been mentioned before. You have astounding levels of perception...

Mushu don’t be too hard on yourself. When you fill in some one else’s class there is always the risk the pupils will just take the piss because of many different factors. One year I had a set who were little arses and I dreaded the class.

It isn’t always the teachers fault.

If you enjoy teaching there are so many different avenues you can go down. Maybe start off with gaining experience by seeing if you can participate in and observing mature students if you still fancy a classroom setting or go down the 1-2-1 route.

I’ve had to observe other teachers, it’s tough giving negative feed back and receiving it but don’t give up if you still feel you still have learning you can share.

You are right I am very sensitive. I always have been, not sure there's anything I can do to change that.

If you want to continue teaching, you will have to change that or you will have a huge problem. Children will judge you, ignore you, test you. It's up to you to keep the class in control.

Also, I disagree that as an English teacher your spelling shouldn't be perfect. It should be. You are teaching English, not maths or physics. Your language needs to be perfect. Are you in the UK? You used "criticize" which is US spelling, not the British one.

Assuming we are talking terms here I would look at it as their parents were paying a lot of money. The teens probably viewed it as a great holiday to the U.K. with the actual work being the boring bit they have to get through to get the holiday.

If your illness rises the the level of a disability, then your employers are bound to make reasonable adjustments to allow you to perform in your role. It’s worth thinking about what accommodations could be made to allow you to be more effective in your role, then you’ll be better equipped to have this conversation in the future when you are considered for roles. It might be that you teach only at a certain time of day, or have additional prep time etc., but only you will know. Do you have contact with a network of other people with the same or similar conditions, with whom you could discuss it to get ideas of how they manage?

Mona I couldn’t agree more. We had a drive where we had to put the fun back in to FUNdamental learning. I was physically and emotionally drained after the school year. We do have to put some responsibility back on to children of a certain age.

I used to be a teacher and I also have a chronic illness. I’m sorry to be blunt, but I think that class teaching may not be the right job for you. Your condition means that you don’t have the high energy levels to become an effective teacher. You are not being fair to yourself, your students or any educational establishment that you work for. I gave up class teaching as soon as I became ill and started tutoring. Could you do something similar?

@Mushu92

@stellabelle's reply was intended to be goady and in no way meant to help you so I wouldn't give it another thought.

I'm a cover supervisor so every single lesson I have is someone else's and given that I sometimes have 5 mins notice to cover if a teacher calls in sick in the morning, I often don't have time to read through the first lesson. I'm often going from lesson to lesson without any time in between too.

The first time I covered was by complete accident (I had another role in school) and a teacher became unwell at the start of a lesson so I was chucked in there and asked to cover. I knew that the class would absolutely annihilate me if they saw any sign of weakness, so adopted a 'fake it til you make it' approach worthy of any Oscar winner. I knew the behaviour policy anyway so I just stuck to it stringently and they realised that mutiny was pointless and it ended up being a great lesson. They used me to cover a few times then asked me to do it all the time.

I always give feedback to the teacher who has provided the cover. If there's something missing I let them know straight away. I give them an update on general behaviour of the class, if they found the lesson easy to engage with, if not etc.

You do need to believe you can do this. Standing in front of a load of students who often don't really fancy being there is not easy.

You need to be pretty tough to work in a language school - I worked summer school with foreign students who were paying a lot to be there, with absolutely zero support and it was pure hell. I shouldn't really have been hired as I had no experience and was fresh out of a CELTA; I thought (because I was inexperienced!) that it would be fine and it really wasn't, I had so many problems and no one more senior to supervise me or help with the teaching.

I would say that if you struggle with energy then a classroom is not the place for you - I'm naturally quite introverted and I have to put on a performance every time I'm in front of a class to keep them engaged which works, but is totally knackering. These days I mainly teach online one-on-one which is much more suited to me as you can build a proper relationship with your students and you don't have to worry about classroom control etc, just about keeping your one student engaged which is a lot easier. If I were you I would look at some of the agencies who work teaching English in China online - they don't pay amazingly well (typical of EFL) but a lot of them will provide resources, support etc and you will just be on your own with one child.

If you want to continue teaching, you will have to change that or you will have a huge problem. Children will judge you, ignore you, test you. It's up to you to keep the class in control.

I do agree with this. They need to know who is in charge of the class.

I have read the whole thread. I don’t agree with posters making snide remarks about the OP’s various spelling and grammatical errors. However, I do think that someone who is teaching a language should be able to use it accurately.

My brother pulled his children out of a school after consistently receiving communications from their class teachers and even on one occasion the head teacher, that had glaring errors. For example, ‘would of..’ and the incorrect their/there/they’re. Awful.

I guess for some people literacy isn’t important but for others it is essential. I fall into the latter camp.

Anyway, not to derail, keep on keeping OP. It sounds like you have a few things against you but don’t let this discourage your career plans.

@Mushu92 sorry to point this out but it's 'losing' not 'loosing'.