To find these women a tad bit annoying?

[Crazytimescrazypeople]

I come from a small village and there is a Facebook group which is mainly for the residents, although anyone can join in. Think of it as an information board, however a lot of people use it as a sounding board (a fair few arguments on there previously). People normally post pictures of the beach and mountains or information in regards to businesses and the shops here, things like that. Anyway - when lockdown started, two ladies who just so happen to live down the road decided to start the “community corner” which consists of boxes and boxes of donated food, sweet treats and toiletries. The purpose of it is so that when people are on their daily walk/exercise they can stop by and pick something up if they fancy. The kids also love it as sometimes cake and sweets are left there. It really is a lovely idea, however there seems to be a post on the Facebook group by these ladies every single day.

They are normally complaints about how someone has taken the hand sanitiser (left for people to sanitise items before taking them if they want to), taken too many slices of cake or dumped (donated) “rubbish”. The other day she specifically asked for book donations but then complained that too many had been donated, so imo people can’t win. Just this very morning, she has complained that someone has taken the hand sanitiser again, that people have no respect and are ruining this lovely activity for everyone. Whilst I agree it must be annoying having to constantly supply the same item over and over again, I can see why someone might have seen it and thought it was an item that had been donated and was up for grabs.

She has specifically said that she doesn’t want to do it anymore as it’s causing her a lot of stress. Of course people were quick to reply and stressed that she was doing a fantastic job (which I agree with) and that she shouldn’t give up just because of other people. She’s now said she’ll see how she feels later and make a decision then. Imo, nobody asked her to do this. It was a lovely idea to start with and has obviously brought a lot of happiness to the community, but if it’s causing someone so much stress surely the best thing to do would be to end it, right?. The very same ladies decided to (again, nobody asked them to) walk through the village yesterday and pick up all the discarded litter as our local litter picker isn’t currently working due to the pandemic. They’ve now complained that there are two black bin liners full of rubbish taking up the space in there black bin .

Imo, if people want to do something out of the goodness of their hearts then it should be just that and not for recognition, appreciation or attention. I do believe these ladies want appreciation and recognition for something that they started. The sensible thing for me to do would be to leave the group, but I enjoy looking at pictures that a local photographer posts occasionally. AIBU to find these ladies a tad bit annoying?

@thepeopleversuswork
Thank you for the phrase: ‘a certain sort of professional martyr’.

Brilliant! I’ve always called these types ‘saints’.

Is it okay if I upgrade to your expression?

It’s great to do good work, but begging for praise? Nah!

I'm a rather cynical person and I have to wonder how many people would do good deeds like this if they couldn't post it all over social media for likes and compliments.

It's also really rude of her to complain about excess donations or suggest other people's donations are rubbish. It's not a community effort if she's policing it like that is it?

I don’t actually think this is a lovely thing to do. Hand sanitiser or not, they’re putting others at risk with these items. It should be stopped.

The rubbish thing i agree with them on. I volunteer doing beach cleans because it needs doing and feel we can complain about how vile people are leaving their rubbish, food and drinks wrappers, used needles on the beaches.

However i agree with you on the other stuff especially when people ask for donations then complain about the type of donation or quantity of the donations. Like dont ask for stuff and then complain about it.

We had a woman moaning on our local page that iceland wouldnt give them free easter eggs for their raffle. Like why should they?

@Cyberattack I don't dispute that there are piss takers, especially people who take 3 or 4 slices of cake for 1 or 2 people, but I do think the hand sanitiser was a genuine mistake. As I said above toiletries such as shower gel, soap and face wipes are all donated so I would think that someone has mistakenly assumed that the hand sanitiser was donated too. This lady does alert people about it on the Facebook group but obviously not everyone used social media.

Possibly @Mnthrowaway20202, it's my day off lol

@aliceinsunderland44 I think you see what I mean

Oh and for anyone who asked, no I don't litter and I think it's awful too!

God yeah, some people can't be happy unless they're complaining. These pair sound like they they've on drama and feeling aggrieved.

The whole thing is just an ego fluffer for them.

This is what village life is like mainly. There are the do gooders,who are actually good being good, but these days, with social media, some of them just have to post things,and let you know about their good deeds

In my village, a lot of the facebook pages, are taken up with people complaining about very silly,and insignificant things.Social media again, as it gives them a keyboard outlet to moan I suppose.

They probably started off as well-meaning community organisers and it turned out to be a pain in the backside for them. It must be frustrating to try to help and have people spoil things but you can't control everyone. So, they've had a bit of a moan at the ingrates. Not surprised but yeah, don't do it every day or you alienate people.

You’ve put me in mind of the first series of Ever Decreasing Circles

Yabu, first for the very irritating ‘tad bit’ - both of these words mean the same thing, you do not need both.

Secondly, for being ungrateful towards these women who are doing something really decent and having to put up with ingratitude and selfishness from others. It’s clearly true that no good deed goes unpunished!

Sounds like people are looking to clear out their general tat. < Not envy

I don't think I've been ungrateful at all tbh @zscaler. I've already said that the village looks lovely and a lot cleaner after they tidied it up. I just found it a bit strange that they would then go on to moan about not having enough space in their bin to hold it, that's all. Again, with the community corner, I thought it was a lovely idea but I just feel that if it's causing so much stress for someone and making them unhappy then maybe it's best to stop.

Ooh I haven't read post, just thought tortoligy when I saw the title. Think lock down is getting to me

Hmm, I agree. There’s a woman near me making cakes to give to key workers and taking nominations to deliver to friends. She’s clearly loving the attention and good for her, has raised some money for her charity but she keeps posting passive aggressive posts about only certain people donating, it’s always the same people etc. She managed to shoehorn herself onto the local news last week too. All those cake boxes and homemade cakes, not to mention all that non essential travel. Urgh/argh

It would be far less effort for you to unfollow the group and let them do their lovely thing without bothering you than for you to rant on here

Leave the group. Headache dealt with.

Looking at a local photographer's photos occasionally, is the most ridiculously shit excuse to keep yourself in the group.

Follow the photographer's FB page instead.

Although you'll have to give up your hobby of hoiking your knickers up and judging these women

OMG I would sooooooo lurve this. I'd be in that FB page clicking for updates constantly!!!!

@DollyDoneMore and others. That made my teeth itch too. Esp as the OP used it twice, but thought pointing it out would make me a cunt, so glad you've done it for me!

YANBU
Do it and accept that some people might take the hand sanitiser or don’t do it. No one asked them to do it and these things should be done because someone wants to, not in order to receive praise etc.

They sound like my former MIL. She would do stuff like volunteer to bake mince pies for the office Xmas party and then complain to all and sundry how long it took her. No-one asked her to do it - in fact they said several times for her not to go to all the bother - but she did it anyway. And then complained for months. But she wasn't happy unless she was complaining. Maybe they are the same. Smile and wave is my advice. And maybe leave the group. I feel so much better since hiding several conspiracy theorists who pop up on a couple of groups from time to time. You won't miss them.

I'm sorry for my grammatical error as so many of you have kindly pointed out. I'm not a perfect person 

Definitely no twisted knickers here @WorraLiberty. I've already said I thought it was a lovely idea and created a real community spirit. I do still think if it's causing her so much stress then maybe she should leave it, but that's just my opinion.

I believe this is referred to as virtue signaling. They're doing it for the 'aren't you wonderfuls', not because helping people out actually makes them feel warm and fuzzy.

I think you see it from my point of view @darklady64 . It's just the constant moaning which I find slightly irritating.

Just delete faceshite. Simples