Name changed for this. I fully expect to get massively flamed for this and know I am being unreasonable and needy.
Fiancé now works full time from home because of lockdown but used to work a 1 hour train commute from work. He works very hard so I feel awful for complaining.
I do 80% of the house work as I can work from home and most of my income does not need too much supervision. I would like to work but chronic illnesses means it's just not realistic to work part time and still be able to care for the house. I do all the admin, finances, postponed the wedding, tidy, do the laundry, care for the pets and fiancé. Fiancé helps by cooking and carrying the food shop but the rest is 90% done by me. I don't mind I like looking after people. I bring him coffee, arrange his lunch if he is busy working or get it ready for when he comes down. I give him a backrub to wake him up, and at night to help him get to sleep. Now he is working from home I also I also give him backrubs in the afternoon after lunch.
Lately he has been feeling low on energy. Now this is a combo of him staying up till 1-2AM and eating unhealthy. I am more then happy to cook or do foodshop if he would let me know what he wants. I keep asking him does he want me to do it and he keeps saying no he just needs some rest. By the time he gets up it is then too late so he orders a pizza. I try help him feel better letting him rest, backrubs, headrubs everything that can help. But I do feel slightly his choice of staying up till 2 or drinking beer for 5 hours on some weekend days is not helping.
This year we maybe had 2 hours of quality time. The rest was him asleep on the sofa as I give him backrubs or him reading the news for over 2 hours not talking to me. This would annoy me a hell of a lot less if the instant he perks up was not then spend gaming on the play station or doing the video family pub quiz once a week. Oh and the football beer drinking zoom time with his friends. I feel awful for saying this as he can also be the most caring fiancé ever. If he sees me liking anything he will get it for me, he always does whatever he can if he sees me upset to make me feel better, he puts up with my demanding mother, and he is taking me on my dream honeymoon. But right now I can't help but also feeling emotionally drained.
For example this weekend. I planned for us to have a nice eurovision evening yesterday. He knew it starts at 6:30. He decides to buy beer and watch football with his friends. Again no problem. What he did is that this went on from 2 unitl 7:30. I had no clue what dinner plans were so could not cook as by 7:35 fiancé was asleep and snoring. I could not tell when he would wake up either so had to wait to ask him what he wants to do about dinner. Had he told me even at 7:30 if I can cook he is tired and what he wanted that would have been ok. So at 8 he briefly wakes up to say he wants pizza and goes back to sleep leaving me to watch eurovision with him snoring next to me. If he did not want to watch it that would have been ok I just wanted to spend some time where he was not asleep or close to sleeping. He gets up at 1 earliest on a weekend so half the day is gone by then. He promised to help me with a gaming spread sheet (that he has promised for 2 weeks) tonight (i game too so I don't mind him gaming), and watching a movie tonight no phones and actually both being present etc. He started to feel unwell. I gave him a backrub and cooled him with a towel on his back. The minute he feels better he is now on the playstation again.
I know he works hard so I feel bad nagging him to do stuff but at the same time these two weeks I have just felt so emotionally drained