To have broached a subject in this way?

[Heygirlheyboy]

A week ago I spotted a problem on a problem page that was identical to a serious issue in our marriage. The reponse, from a qualified counsellor, got to the heart of my experience and perspective on it and I left the paper open on that page this morning hoping dh would see it and realise how I was feeling. I was sure he'd have a bit of a realisation considering the response was completely objective and neutral. Instead he has taken great umbrage at me leaving it there 'Did you just want me.to read that I was all wrong?'

Aibu to think this could have been helpful and that his lack of openness is a red flag? I find it depressing that when finally how I was feeling was explained so clearly, his focus was on 'Of course I'm completely in the wrong'.

@OhCaptain, he is entitled to a sex life, but he's probably not going to get one. His lack of sex life is his own fault, not the OP's.

Foreplay begins at breakfast and then some! It is not rocket science to realise that if you are unkind to someone, unsupportive and dismissive they may not be full of desire for you.

OP, you don't have to be with this man, you don't have to have sex with him ever again. One day, when you have taken a bit of time for yourself, you could have a very good sex life with a real partner.

If you want to stay with him, the option of you leaving has to be put on the table, I think. Then he has a lot of work do to make himself more desirable, the 1st being a profuse apology for his behaviour when you were attempting sex post partum.

Actually, I take the first part back; nobody has an entitlement to sex.

Did you just not bother to read the rest of my post @Velvian?

Nobody has an entitlement to sex per se. But in a marriage there’s a reasonable expectation that you will have some sex at some point, due to not being able to go elsewhere for it!

An expectation of sex is usual in a marriage, definitely. However, it is really down to Op's H that neither of them have a sex life.

I did read your post @OhCaptain, but your last line sent me off on a tangent. The idea of an entitlement to sex is so rapey and so prevelant.

This is another article you might find useful, OP.

www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-men-do-to-ruin-their-own-sex-lives/

Well don’t imply that I lay any fault at the OP’s feet while you’re on your tangent. I’m not a rape apologist.

This is awful
He didn't react with any compassion, he should have been concerned for you if you were in pain. Divorce him

Unfortunately the year on was four years ago...