Parents wfh and the furloughed for childcare

[baskininjoe]

I am childless, currently by choice because I am in my twenties but do plan to have a child in the future at some point.

AIBU to be getting annoyed with the short end of the stick that the childless are getting right now with everything regarding childcare and lockdown.

I have so many colleges who are currently wfh whilst looking after children. I completely sympathise and understand this is hard but I am really starting to get annoyed with them being less productive, and logging less hours for the same pay (no reduction), whilst the rest of us are expected to pick up the slack, and work more hours to make sure tasks still get completed, whilst not being paid anymore for our extra time and effort. I know there is no perfect solution but it really grates on me that they aren't being paid for what they complete which could therefore compensate the rest of us for the extra we are having to do because they are not fully fulfilling their role.

On top of this with the idea of school provisionally going back in June some of these parents have said they will not be sending their DC to school, despite a place being open and available to them, and therefore expect the rest of us to continue to pick up their slack because they can't work as productively whilst looking after their children.

My housemate (shared house) works in a place where many parents have been furloughed for childcare reasons, despite their being lots of work to do, just because they've asked to be. This means that my housemate has been incredibly stressed as the workload is still high but the team is now smaller, whilst many of their colleges are receiving 80% on the taxpayer, despite their actually being work for them to do, all because they complained to their employer that it was too hard working with children and thus asking to be furloughed. This is especially grating as it is taxpayer money that is being used to pay them, despite their actually being a job they could do and be payed for.

I am not at all against the furlough scheme, another of my housemates work in a restaurant and is also on furlough and this is absolutely the right thing as they can not work, despite wanting to, as their place of work is not allowed to open.

However I think:

1. Some employers and employees are taking the piss by allowing staff to be furloughed/asking to be furloughed despite their actually being a job to do. Which then negatively affects the rest of the teams as the work level remains the same but there are less people to do the work so the remaining people have to work harder with no extra pay.

1. Employers need to be understanding but also firm with parents that although some productively will be affected by having DC at home, a certain level still needs to be consistently met or they are not doing their job properly and that negatively affects the business and the rest of the team.

1. Employers need to be especially understanding and grateful to employees still working, who are picking up the slack for those not being as productive because of DC at home/furloughed for childcare reasons despite their still being work. And actually need to consider financially compensating them for the high level of extra work and overtime and/or promise to look at these people first for upcoming promotions as as they have shown serious dedication to the business.

1. Employers should not be allowing parents to choose not to send DC to school when they can if it continues to affect the parents productivity level.

I understand this is a hard time for everyone, and parents do have it hard with few childcare options for DC, however that is not the problem of their colleagues and they should not be negatively affected by being expected to work far far more for no extra gain. My housemate and I are stressed beyond belief both having to work 10-12 hours every day for what would be a 9-5 office job in order to pick up the slack for colleagues whilst not being paid anymore whilst these colleagues are only completely 4-6 hours a day yet continuing to be paid the same as us. And on top of this are expecting it to continue despite their child being able to go to school soon because they are choosing not to send them.

[baskininjoe]

How many times!

I don't resent my colleagues or parents as a group. I resent a few choice CF's and the situation as a whole!

[baskininjoe]

@dylaninthemovies1

Due to the nature of my role I know exactly when everyone logs on/off, what they complete and their levels of productivity. I am not making assumptions about these things.

[Phineyj]

I sympathise to an extent but I think that given that you only know this level of detail about your colleagues' lives due to your actual role, I think you need to detach a bit. It's not healthy. It works both ways, too. I've got younger childfree colleagues running a virtual marathon at the moment (and clogging up the work email discussing it). I can only wish for the days I had time to pursue hobbies seriously.

I also think your employer screwed up if they furloughed people they needed instead of reducing their hours (I have one DC and am managing 2/3 FT as normal - home school and no commute cancel out, fortunately for me and my DH).

Also... isn't working long hours building your career what your 20s are for? To get yourself into a good place? Mine certainly were.

[baskininjoe]

"I understand you’re frustrated OP but take your issues up with your employ like a grown up and don’t whinge about others having it easy."

Oh I'm sorry, since when did I stop being allowed that people could come on MN just to have a moan and get things off their chest? I have an continue to take it up with my employer in an appropriate professional manner, but I am still allowed to be frustrated and come here to vent.

[SuitedandBooted]

Well, this has gone the way I expected OP

as you said;

Sometimes there are no good options. What if your employer turns around and says 'if there is work for you to do and your DC has a place and school, thus you can do it, but you're choosing not to because you think it will traumatise them, well that is a choice to not do your work so I'm afraid I'm letting you go' what would you do? That's sadly what it may come to with the number of parents saying it because the business simply can't maintain it.

My company will be there very soon. The decisions taken will be the ones that best protect the business and the maximum number of employees. We can all argue and scream "Unfair!" on here, but in RL they can and will be keeping the most productive people. Long term furlough or WFH is not an option in every company.

[baskininjoe]

"Also... isn't working long hours building your career what your 20s are for? To get yourself into a good place? Mine certainly were."

To an extent yes, I am not work shy, always at the office before 9 and stay well after 5 regularly because I understand that's what it takes to build a career from scratch and show willing by going above and beyond.

However right now I have no choice but to work these hours to get the bare minimum done for my team. It also in no way progresses my career because I am not learning anything new or developing skills, I'm simply playing catch up on everything left not completed.

[DoctorHildegardLanstrom]

How many times!

I don't resent my colleagues or parents as a group. I resent a few choice CF's and the situation as a whole!

That is not how your OP reads, you have chucked all parents into the same box

[RoosterPie]

Thing is OP I know you say you don’t resent parents in general but your post reads like a comment on the general situation eg

AIBU to be getting annoyed with the short end of the stick that the childless are getting right now with everything regarding childcare and lockdown

I sympathise in that it is shit for you. But I agree with others it is shit for everyone and being stuck at home with young children is soul destroying (I’m self employed so have stopped working but still finding it a massive slog).

I do agree that if and when schools reopen, allowances made for parents wfh with children need to stop, but we aren’t there yet. Even at June 1st it won’t help a lot of parents.

[baskininjoe]

@SuitedandBooted

It's the sad reality.

When it comes to redundancies my employer will be coming to me for data around all this. I will be telling them, without my personal opinion or emotions, how many hours each employee works and at what level of productivity and it will be there decision from there on.

It is not for me to decide who gets fired between X who works on average 6 hours a day and it performing a 60% of the productivity compared to before lockdown and Y, who although only doing 5 is somehow managing 70% productivity. That is for my employer to decide.

However they will be asking me to report on the weekly calls with each person and I would not be doing my job properly if I didn't tell them that although Z is at 75% productivity they refuse to send their child to school until there is a vaccine whether X and Y have both expressed that they will be using any and every form of childcare available to them as soon as it becomes available. Again not my decision, but my job to let my employer know these things so they can make the most informed decision in the best interest of the business.

[HeyDuggeesCakeBadge]

I have seen so many people with these views at the moment and it's the same outside of work, everyone all pitted against each other, resenting everyone else - it stops you looking at who you should be placing the blame on. If you are having to work ridiculous hours and are not managing then please do talk to your manager - this shouldn't be happening and a good employer would be looking at what is critical work and adjusting their priorities. With 2 toddlers, trying to fit my full time job as well as keeping on top of everything else, I've not really had the time to think about the CF's (and I'm sure there are some). Just focus on you OP and your wellbeing and stop focusing on everyone else and their business - if your organisation has to make people redundant then so be it, out of your control.

[Hadjab]

whilst many of their colleges are receiving 80% on the taxpayer

Your colleagues that have been furloughed are tax payers

[HeyDuggeesCakeBadge]

OP, I doubt they'll be using the data from a global pandemic to base their redundancy decisions on as that will skew objective decision making - it would disproportionately impact on women for example and that would be direct discrimination.

[REdReDRE]

I am furloughed for childcare reasons. I cannot do my job and keep them safe - never mind educated. My husband is a key worker and out of the house doing long hours but neither of their settings would take them with only one key worker parent. It would have either been unpaid dependency leave or furlough - I am so grateful to be furloughed and it doesn't sound hard for you. However it's also hard for a lot of people - very weird to find a parenting forum to have your vent on. I have a lot more sympathy for the parents having to work with their children there and my husband and his colleagues and those others on the front line.

[Thurlow]

The emotional toll of being fully responsible for someone else during a global pandemic is pretty fucking shit too (and that will apply to anyone with any caring responsibility)

I try and work as much as I can, I neglect my children, I leave them in front of too much telly, I don't socialise with them enough, I don't give them enough exercise, I don't manage to help my older child with schoolwork and watch her get upset when all their other classmates are congratulated for the great work they've been doing at home.

I try and juggle childcare and work too much and I'm doing a poor job and who's going to be first in line for redundancies when they start looking at productivity and helpfulness? At who they've managed a bit without over the past few months?

I lose my job, we might lose our house in the middle of the biggest recession for generations.

And on top of that, I'm constantly worried about the state of my children's mental health when their whole world and support network and everything familiar has been ripped away from them in a way they are slightly too young to understand.

Deciding whether to send them back to school or childcare is the single hardest decision I've ever had to make. I am literally making what feels like a sort of life or death decision at the moment, the virus is still so new, the rumours of other symptoms in children starting to come out. Do I risk their mental health by not trying to offer them some normality? Or do I risk their physical health?

They can't make these decisions, only I can. A decision I need to make while trying to work f/t and teach my children and entertain them and support my frontline working DH and I've got no fucking headspace for any of it.

I'm failing at everything right now. I'm sorry if you're feeling stressed at work, but try and imagine what this is like for people who have young children or elderly or sick people to look after f/t at the same time too.

[AllsortsofAwkward]

Parents had no control schools shuting, they were advised to wfh. Even if parents send the kids to school they wont be open full time school hours. What do you expect them to do leave them at home unattended for hours whilst they go to work.

[burritofan]

Boo hoo, tough luck, tbh. You have it much, much easier then people trying to parent and wfh simultaneously. You're working a few more hours but you get to clock off. We're working constantly, since childcare is work; failing at both, since it's impossible to work and parent at the same time; and juggling the guilt as well. Suck it up, buttercup.

[AllsortsofAwkward]

Oh forgot to add they are trying to home school there dcs aswell as work from home so double their work load. When do you do have dc you cringe looking back. When you finish work that it's when you have dc it's never ending. Nm in a pandemic.

[HeyBlaby]

The problem is not parents, the problem is your employer.

[MindyStClaire]

They are never 'handed' to anyone just like that. Parents choose to have kids, so should expect that they are the ones to shoulder the burden of bringing them up whilst holding down a job. Someone without children and just the job shouldn't have to worry about children.

Ordinarily I would completely agree, which is why I spend a fortune on full-time nursery fees so I can work to the same standard I always have.

But that's just not an option ATM. We have literally zero options for childcare, and DD doesn't have a pause button. I've never given more of myself to work, but have also never worked fewer hours. I can't do more unless I give up more sleep, and I'm pregnant and exhausted so that's not a possibility.

It sucks ATM. It's not forever.

[LaurieMarlow]

No parent asked for schools and childcare to be shut OP. It’s a nightmare for them.

I don’t like the barely concealed threatening tone if your last posts. I thought you were trying to be fair until you did that. I’m glad the decision making isn’t up to you.

But it would be a terrible outcome if the burden of redundancy fell most heavily on those with children. Is that what you want OP? Thousands of children thrown into poverty? At least be honest.

[ForgotAboutThis]

If your employer makes people redundant because they can't balance childrearing and working, I hope you reflect very hard before having a baby while you work for them.

[hammeringinmyhead]

I don't normally participate in the race to the bottom, but if you had been made redundant in March and headhunted in May, like I just have been, and been unable to take the application further because you have no idea when childcare will be available or consistent, you might think differently about short ends of sticks.

Parents, and in particular mothers, who lose their jobs now are close to unemployable in 9-5 roles. This is catastrophic for the future employment prospects of all women of childbearing age. No matter what the productivity of the individual parents in your organisation might be.

[Bubbletrouble43]

Yabu frankieknuckles summed it up pretty well.

[IndecentFeminist]

You can't genuinely be suggesting that employers discriminate against parents when it comes to promotions? Because you may well be the less talented employee and just be working more at the moment because you don't have children. I'm sure you'd love that to happen to you as when you do have children.

[LemmysAceCard]

Oh just what we need, another non parent coming onto a parenting site to slag of working parents.

Jog on op, my colleague is childless and we are wfh, she is taking the piss, turning every meeting into how her mental health is taking nose dive, detailing her breakdowns, going for long walks in work time that she doesn’t have to make back, and frankly is doing fuck all. It leaves me and the other parent in our team to pick her fucking slack up.

No consideration or time off without making our hours up is given to us despite trying to keep kids entertained. I get paid 7.5 hours a day, I work 7.5 hours a day, and very productive.