Parents wfh and the furloughed for childcare

[baskininjoe]

I am childless, currently by choice because I am in my twenties but do plan to have a child in the future at some point.

AIBU to be getting annoyed with the short end of the stick that the childless are getting right now with everything regarding childcare and lockdown.

I have so many colleges who are currently wfh whilst looking after children. I completely sympathise and understand this is hard but I am really starting to get annoyed with them being less productive, and logging less hours for the same pay (no reduction), whilst the rest of us are expected to pick up the slack, and work more hours to make sure tasks still get completed, whilst not being paid anymore for our extra time and effort. I know there is no perfect solution but it really grates on me that they aren't being paid for what they complete which could therefore compensate the rest of us for the extra we are having to do because they are not fully fulfilling their role.

On top of this with the idea of school provisionally going back in June some of these parents have said they will not be sending their DC to school, despite a place being open and available to them, and therefore expect the rest of us to continue to pick up their slack because they can't work as productively whilst looking after their children.

My housemate (shared house) works in a place where many parents have been furloughed for childcare reasons, despite their being lots of work to do, just because they've asked to be. This means that my housemate has been incredibly stressed as the workload is still high but the team is now smaller, whilst many of their colleges are receiving 80% on the taxpayer, despite their actually being work for them to do, all because they complained to their employer that it was too hard working with children and thus asking to be furloughed. This is especially grating as it is taxpayer money that is being used to pay them, despite their actually being a job they could do and be payed for.

I am not at all against the furlough scheme, another of my housemates work in a restaurant and is also on furlough and this is absolutely the right thing as they can not work, despite wanting to, as their place of work is not allowed to open.

However I think:

1. Some employers and employees are taking the piss by allowing staff to be furloughed/asking to be furloughed despite their actually being a job to do. Which then negatively affects the rest of the teams as the work level remains the same but there are less people to do the work so the remaining people have to work harder with no extra pay.

1. Employers need to be understanding but also firm with parents that although some productively will be affected by having DC at home, a certain level still needs to be consistently met or they are not doing their job properly and that negatively affects the business and the rest of the team.

1. Employers need to be especially understanding and grateful to employees still working, who are picking up the slack for those not being as productive because of DC at home/furloughed for childcare reasons despite their still being work. And actually need to consider financially compensating them for the high level of extra work and overtime and/or promise to look at these people first for upcoming promotions as as they have shown serious dedication to the business.

1. Employers should not be allowing parents to choose not to send DC to school when they can if it continues to affect the parents productivity level.

I understand this is a hard time for everyone, and parents do have it hard with few childcare options for DC, however that is not the problem of their colleagues and they should not be negatively affected by being expected to work far far more for no extra gain. My housemate and I are stressed beyond belief both having to work 10-12 hours every day for what would be a 9-5 office job in order to pick up the slack for colleagues whilst not being paid anymore whilst these colleagues are only completely 4-6 hours a day yet continuing to be paid the same as us. And on top of this are expecting it to continue despite their child being able to go to school soon because they are choosing not to send them.

[mrsbyers]

@FrankieKnuckles as a key worker could you not have your children in school ? Just curious

[baskininjoe]

@HunterHearstHelmsley

This is a good idea, I will suggest it to my management, thank you.

[Cuppaand2biscuits]

It is annoying but it's happening everywhere and not just to the childless. I'm still going out to work as work in an industry that requires me too.
I have children at home with my partner and I'm still working my contracted hours, while we have people at home on full pay because of child care issues, can't drive and wont catch a bus or walk, anxiety or conditions that are not on the 12 week list but minor like asthma.
It's not fair at all but the managers have so much to deal with right now that they don't have time to do anything about it.
They way it looks to me anyone can say they can't come in and be allowed to stay at home.

[TrickyWords]

You might get a warmer reception spouting this on a tabloid forum OP. Why seek out parents to vent your spleen?

I hope that should you ever become a parent you learn a bit of kindness and understanding before the child is born.

It is fewer, not less hours.

[BrieAndChilli]

You do realise OP that schools aren’t even open yet and although in England (nor wales or Scotland) there are vague noises about some kids going back in June but only a couple of the years and not all at the same time means that for most parents school won’t be an option for much longer. I have a year 4 and we live in wales so not likely to be back at school until September, along with my year 7 and year 8 children.
Nobody bar families where both parents are keyworkers have even been offered a school place yet as far as I am aware, no-one know what classes, what times or days thier child will be given so I’m a bit that you are saying parents are refusing to send thier kids to school when there’s nothing to refuse just yet!!

[RibenaMonsoon]

@Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese
No problem. You must be as sleep deprived as I am.


Oh and also OP
"whilst many of their colleges are receiving 80% on the taxpayer"

I am a taxpayer...

[LaurieMarlow]

You’re being a bit myopic OP if you genuinely think you have the short end of the stick.

Just try to imagine doing your job and someone hands you a preschooler and a 5 year old and tells you to look after them and homeschool on top of that.

[DontStandSoCloseToMe]

@mrsbyers it depends where you live, our nursery is closed to all and local provision at the hub is only for over fives. DHs aunt is a teacher in a rural area her school is closed as are many other local primaries, the nearest hub is twenty five miles away.

[OneandTwenty]

No I am wfh as well (which is a nightmare in a tiny room in a tiny shared house)

whilst most people, not PARENTS, prefer wfh...

[WillAshton]

@RibenaMonsoon
But the short end of the stick...you definitely haven't got

Who are you to decide? It is categorically not up to another individual unrelated adult to pick up the slack when a colleague cannot work effectively. Managers should protect workers from this.

When the reason for not working effectively is to do with children you brought into the world and are responsible for, it's completely understandable that someone who isn't a parent doesn't want to be involved. They are your kids.

If you are on full pay and a colleague is in a less desirable position and are struggling (maybe they are furloughed on 80%), should YOU personally, as a worker, help top their wages up to pay their mortgage for the house they chose to live in?

[ForgotAboutThis]

When you have to listen to your 8 year old child crying because they miss their life, their friends and family, sobbing because they feel that nobody in the house wants them here because we are working all day and basically ignoring them, that they feel like no one likes them or loves them because we can't spend the day with them and they have to just get on by themselves, then we can talk.

Your problem is your employer. Not your colleagues. Being expected to pick up extra work for no extra reward. Why don't you take that up with them, or, say no to taking on the work. See what happens. Stop blaming your colleagues.

And you have no idea what influences people's decision whether to send their child back to school or not. If you thought that returning to school in the current situation, with distancing etc, would traumatise them more than waiting until September, what would you do? I'll give you a hint, you don't know.

[Tappering]

Why are people talking about 'when' OP has children? She hasn't said she intends to?

@LisaSimpsonsbff - it's in the OP:

I am childless, currently by choice because I am in my twenties but do plan to have a child in the future at some point.

[FrankieKnuckles]

@mrsbyers nope. Our local authority says both parents have to be key workers to be eligible. My DH isn't a key worker so not eligible but he still works out of the house every day as normal.

So I'm in a position where I can't be furloughed, can't send kids to school & cant take unpaid leave. Needless to say I am frazzled, on verge of tears daily for last 2 weeks.

[MrsG010814]

Come back when you have children op. This is incredibly difficult for parents. Should we lock our dc in a cupboard all day so we get out the same level of productivity. You have no idea what your talking about.

[baskininjoe]

@OneandTwenty

"whilst most people, not PARENTS, prefer wfh..."


I'm sorry but what does this have to do with anything I've talked about. Or are you just looking to attack my by any means possible?

[EssentialHummus]

I sympathise OP, but you'd do better to take it up with your employer. I have a two year old. Without handing out a shiny award to me for my clear genetic/parenting superiority, she's about as easy as two year olds come - listens to instructions, will entertain herself for 30 minutes at a time, will watch a bit of TV, easily placated with snacks. And my work is fully flexible - I'm self-employed and my clients don't care if I do my work at 3am with a colander on my head.

It's still fucking hard. I've lost 15 hours of childcare, and all the entertainment/stimulation that her little friends provide. So I can wake up early and get an hour in, and maybe answer emails while she has breakfast (not how I like to parent, but hey); maybe stick her in front of Peppa for 30/45 minutes each morning (ditto), but she needs exercise, fresh air, interaction, cuddles. So when it gets to 8pm and she's asleep I'm at least 3 hours down on work for that day. Rinse and repeat weekdays and weekends, for two months now. And that's a flexible role, not one where there are targets/deadlines/phone calls etc.

[WillAshton]

And @LaurieMarlow Just try to imagine doing your job and someone hands you a preschooler and a 5 year old and tells you to look after them and homeschool on top of that.

They are never 'handed' to anyone just like that. Parents choose to have kids, so should expect that they are the ones to shoulder the burden of bringing them up whilst holding down a job. Someone without children and just the job shouldn't have to worry about children.

[DoctorHildegardLanstrom]

You keep banging on about schools being open, even if everyone sends their kids in, it won't be for the full 6 hours, it is only 3-6 year olds and Yr 6's so those who have younger children or older are still going to be struggling.

And this maybe happening in June and maybe happening in England only.

I would also be thinking that you might be in a lucky position, because those with kids maybe the first ones to go when the job losses start

[LisaSimpsonsbff]

Sorry, you're right, @Tappering, I missed that. I still don't like the idea that OP owes parents some kind of debt for the future, though.

[SummerHouse]

@FrankieKnuckles are you in England? The day after the announcement about 1 June opening the gov released a 50 page document which included reference to key worker children and how school should be accommodating them regardless of if parents are WFH. I will go see if I can find it....

for you. It is bloody hard.

[Sandybval]

I don't think you are unreasonable to be frustrated with having the extra workload, it is both possible to be empathetic and annoyed with your own situation.

[ForgotAboutThis]

No one anticipated a global pandemic and lockdown when they had children.
I made sure I was in a position to afford wrap around childcare etc, so I could also be a good employee. Which is all fine, until none of it is open. What exactly do you think parents should do?

[baskininjoe]

@ForgotAboutThis

"And you have no idea what influences people's decision whether to send their child back to school or not. If you thought that returning to school in the current situation, with distancing etc, would traumatise them more than waiting until September, what would you do? I'll give you a hint, you don't know."

Actually I do. Can't go into too much detail but part of my role involves contacting everyone on the team, looking at their productivity, how many hours they've worked, what they've completed. Comparing this with targets set and what they have completed in previous weeks and planning how we will continue. Therefore many parents have expressed exactly why they don't want to send their children to school directly to me.

Sometimes there are no good options. What if your employer turns around and says 'if there is work for you to do and your DC has a place and school, thus you can do it, but you're choosing not to because you think it will traumatise them, well that is a choice to not do your work so I'm afraid I'm letting you go' what would you do? That's sadly what it may come to with the number of parents saying it because the business simply can't maintain it.

[baskininjoe]

@Sandybval

Thank you, this is exactly where I am at right now.

[Burplecutter]

Yabu because you are generalising too much.
I could generalise my situation if you like. Me and my DH are both working full time from home while looking after our DD. We are working harder than ever, longer hours for no extra pay or reward, and our standards of work have risen.

In both of our places of work there are 20-30 year olds using this time to do the bare minimum and even less than that, living their best life playing computer games, zoom quizzes, posting about all the time they have to learn new skills while our end of the stick seems a lot shittier.

They don't have to worry about whether or not to send their non-existent children into an unsafe environment.

So should I just believe all childless people in their 20s are just pissing about and not pulling their weight?

Of course not, because that's not the case. But equally it's not the case that all parents are completing less work or substandard work. You need to change your outlook and speak to your employer.

Right now I'm crossing my fingers and making a special wish that when you do have children your employer chastises you for having to sometimes take things a bit easier with work and put your children first. With a side serving of rewarding your current colleagues who have children for picking up your slack because their children are no longer at such a needy age.

Get over yourself and get some wider perspective regarding what your future will be like. I don't want another pandemic but if we get one I bloody well hope we get one when you have 3 kids under 7 and your colleagues tell you to suck it.