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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours, cats and birds.

340 replies

Birdmurderer · 17/05/2020 09:02

NC for this but regular.

We've lived in out house for a year, on a "hello" basis with next door. She's got a voice you can hear 3 streets away and her eldest daughter seems to have inherited it. A few issues but generally ok neighbours.

We have 3 cats - one who is old and never leaves the decking area of our garden, one who seems to have another family a few doors down (other side to neighbour in question), and one who likes to peep through their chain link fence at them but is too much of a mamas boy to leave our garden. (we've had a lot of time during lockdown to confirm our theories about where they go during the day). They made it clear from day one they don't like cats and will talk loudly about how awful our cats are when they know we're within earshot .

DP just went outside to get his bike and the woman is sobbing in the garden. Spots DP and starts shouting at him because apparently one of ours cats has eaten a bird that she was looking after (she has a feeding table in her garden).

DP apologised - for what I'm not sure - and sort of left it there and went off about his day. I was still in bed when all this happened.

He's gone out now and I can hear her sobbing and shouting in the garden about this bird.

There are 2 big cats the other side of her, one of which is horrible and has put my little cat in the vets twice. I think that's the culprit over my fat old one who sleeps 23 hours a day, the deserter, and the little one who can't catch his own tail.

AIBU to think she's massively overreacted? I have quite bad social anxiety and I am not good with confrontation so I'm hiding indoors now.

OP posts:
ChardonnaysPetDragon · 17/05/2020 12:52

It's not legal for your cat to damage plants in someone else's garden.

What reasonable steps have you taken to prevent it?

understandmenow · 17/05/2020 12:52

Once we humans have stopped ruining the planet for other species, then perhaps we can start to judge what other species do. Until then, it's the utmost in arrogance and hypocrisy to judge a cat for killing a bird.

💯

Fedhimtotigers · 17/05/2020 12:53

@ChardonnaysPetDragon if you witness a crime it is your responsibility to report it. Have you reported the feline fiend?

understandmenow · 17/05/2020 12:53

@ChardonnaysPetDragon I don't have a cat, so it would prove difficult!

If I get one, I'll ask the neighbours to make a citizens arrest if they catch it.

How many prosecutions have been made for cats ruining a plant?

ChocolateQuiltedShitPig · 17/05/2020 12:56

Mine recently turned into a killing machine and bringing them indoors. DP saved a mouse form him once and was horrified (dp massive animal lover).

Cat is now on a curfew between 8pm and 8am and ever since he has not brought anything home so fingers crossed.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 17/05/2020 12:56

These threads always boggle me: the sheer level of intolerance is mind-blowing. I'm not the biggest fan of marauding cats killing fledglings, and I'll about at one on the prowl at this time of year in the same way I'll shout at magpies, but I don't hate them.

I'm also not convinced by the RSPB stuff about cats. They're not going to piss off their membership by fingering Mog as even a possible suspect in the decline of anything.

MitziK, red and roe deer are native, and fallow have been here a long time.

DissociatedDinosaur · 17/05/2020 12:56

If your cats are outside unattended you have no idea where they are going or what they are doing.

Any pet behaves differently when a human is not around.

Take some responsibility for your cats and attempt to limit them harming wildlife.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 17/05/2020 13:00

How many prosecutions have been made for cats ruining a plant?

And that's what meant with cat owners taking the piss and ignoring the responsibilities of having a pet.

It's not funny. Your pet is causing damage and killing, and you think it doesn't matter.

I might have spend months growing my seedlings, I have invested time and money in this, and I have been looking forward to the flowers later.

Then a cat comes and shits all and tramples all over it. Do you think that's right?

TinySleepThief · 17/05/2020 13:01

So as a previous poster queried is it just when they kill birds we should be sad? Or are all those on the neighbours side equally horrified and fuming when cats kill pests such as rats?

Fedhimtotigers · 17/05/2020 13:03

@ChardonnaysPetDragon you had the option of animal proofing it.

understandmenow · 17/05/2020 13:05

*And that's what meant with cat owners taking the piss and ignoring the responsibilities of having a pet.

It's not funny. Your pet is causing damage and killing, and you think it doesn't matter.

I might have spend months growing my seedlings, I have invested time and money in this, and I have been looking forward to the flowers later.

Then a cat comes and shits all and tramples all over it. Do you think that's right?*

Again @ChardonnaysPetDragon, I don't have a cat! But I have enough common sense to know I can't control the cats in the neighbourhood, they're not going to move, I can't stop them roaming and being cats. I use my time and energy to change the things I can and don't get caught up in what I can't change. Otherwise I'd end up as stressed about a situation I can't change as much as you are! I don't need that stress.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 17/05/2020 13:05

Hang on, why should I be cat proofing my garden?

It's the owner who has to take the reasonable steps.

But truth be told, I have now. Heaven help any cat that does come into my garden. Grin

Fedhimtotigers · 17/05/2020 13:06

Because cats exist.
Because they roam.
And some cats are feral. They do exist.

Pelleas · 17/05/2020 13:06

Then a cat comes and shits all and tramples all over it. Do you think that's right?

There are ways of deterring cats from visiting particular areas. In this case I would suggest talking to the cat's owner about your options - a reasonable cat owner would be happy to work with you.

understandmenow · 17/05/2020 13:08

*Hang on, why should I be cat proofing my garden?
*
Because it's making you stressed and angry cats going in your, not good for you.

It's the owner who has to take the reasonable steps.*

Which doesn't include keeping the cat indoors.

But truth be told, I have now. Heaven help any cat that does come into my garden.

Doesn't surprise me that you're inferring that you'd hurt the cat, you sound completely OTT and hysterical about this. It's not good, focus on the things you can change.

SpillTheTeaa · 17/05/2020 13:09

Oh, ffs. Massive over reaction from her. She needs to get a grip. Shit happens.

TARSCOUT · 17/05/2020 13:10

Keep your cats inside or put bells on them.

TSSDNCOP · 17/05/2020 13:10

Got to admit, I'm absolutely staggered about this cat that enters a house and sprays a baby and steals cooked goose. I'm not sure that's a regular cat.

DM is an avid bird feeder and surrounded by cats. Never once has a cat got one of her birds (seriously it's like an Alfred Hitchcock round her garden) but the bloody magpies will attack absolutely anything. Bloody saluty bastards.

understandmenow · 17/05/2020 13:10

Shit happens.

GrinGrinGrinGrinespecially in flower beds but roaming cats!

understandmenow · 17/05/2020 13:11

*by

SpillTheTeaa · 17/05/2020 13:11

*It's not funny. Your pet is causing damage and killing, and you think it doesn't matter.
*
Confused does anyone know where there cat is 24/7? Most people can't keep their cat on a lead fgs.

SpillTheTeaa · 17/05/2020 13:12

Their*

Pelleas · 17/05/2020 13:12

Heaven help any cat that does come into my garden.

Heaven help you if what you've done might injure an innocent animal. You realise that there will be other animal visitors to your garden, not just the cats you hate so much.

bluebeck · 17/05/2020 13:13

She's an idiot.

Try to forget about it and make plans to move.

minielise · 17/05/2020 13:13

Please play circle of life with the window open and have a loud sing Blush