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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours, cats and birds.

340 replies

Birdmurderer · 17/05/2020 09:02

NC for this but regular.

We've lived in out house for a year, on a "hello" basis with next door. She's got a voice you can hear 3 streets away and her eldest daughter seems to have inherited it. A few issues but generally ok neighbours.

We have 3 cats - one who is old and never leaves the decking area of our garden, one who seems to have another family a few doors down (other side to neighbour in question), and one who likes to peep through their chain link fence at them but is too much of a mamas boy to leave our garden. (we've had a lot of time during lockdown to confirm our theories about where they go during the day). They made it clear from day one they don't like cats and will talk loudly about how awful our cats are when they know we're within earshot .

DP just went outside to get his bike and the woman is sobbing in the garden. Spots DP and starts shouting at him because apparently one of ours cats has eaten a bird that she was looking after (she has a feeding table in her garden).

DP apologised - for what I'm not sure - and sort of left it there and went off about his day. I was still in bed when all this happened.

He's gone out now and I can hear her sobbing and shouting in the garden about this bird.

There are 2 big cats the other side of her, one of which is horrible and has put my little cat in the vets twice. I think that's the culprit over my fat old one who sleeps 23 hours a day, the deserter, and the little one who can't catch his own tail.

AIBU to think she's massively overreacted? I have quite bad social anxiety and I am not good with confrontation so I'm hiding indoors now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Birdmurderer · 17/05/2020 12:10

Do the special cat garden builders accept fresh air? Because we'd need brand new fencing to start, both sides, or it'd a be mesh on top of a 4 foot fence.

I forgot this is MN and everyone's pockets are deep enough to remodel their garden at a moment's notice.

OP posts:
Baaaahhhhh · 17/05/2020 12:11

I think one of the issues is that when people treat wild birds like pets, encouraging them to hand feed, and not have fear of humans, they are actually also making them dependent and not "naturally" aligned with their environment.

Pelleas · 17/05/2020 12:17

Perhaps these bird lovers recommending people keep their cats under mesh should build aviaries in their gardens to keep their chosen birds safe. But of course, it would be cruel to stop the birds roaming freely ... oh, wait a minute ...

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 17/05/2020 12:23

Perhaps these bird lovers recommending people keep their cats under mesh should build aviaries in their gardens to keep their chosen birds safe. But of course, it would be cruel to stop the birds roaming freely ... oh, wait a minute ...

Let me simplify this enough for you.

Birds - wildlife.
Cats - pets.

Not sure why is so difficult to understand that your pet has to be under your control, and that it should not be out killing and shitting wherever it pleases.

Pelleas · 17/05/2020 12:25

Pets are simply domesticated wildlife.

Pelleas · 17/05/2020 12:26

Not sure why is so difficult to understand that your pet has to be under your control

The law says otherwise when it comes to cats. You have no responsibility in law for the actions of your cat.

TinySleepThief · 17/05/2020 12:27

*Not sure why is so difficult to understand that your pet has to be under your control, and that it should not be out killing and shitting wherever it pleases.

That's simply untrue as cats have the right to roam.

Also what do you suggest is the solution to all the feral cats in this country. Whose control should they be under given that they fall into neither the wildlife or the pets categories you so clearly outlined?

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 17/05/2020 12:32

Oh yes, the much quoted right to roam, where posters always forget what comes after right to Roa.

Cat owners also have a common law duty to take reasonable steps to ensure their cats do not cause damage to someone's property or cause injury to anyone.

So, be a love, take the steps to prevent your cats from causing injury and damage.

makingmammaries · 17/05/2020 12:33

Put bells on them?

On the neighbours? Good plan.

Bird-feeding people are sometimes a bit unbalanced. I know some people who had to put anti-bird spikes all over their roof after their downpipe blocked and sheared off because of droppings from pigeons attracted by the neighbours’ bird-feeding habit.

Fedhimtotigers · 17/05/2020 12:34

Wild birds are not property. And they are also not people. So they don't count in the harm.

Pelleas · 17/05/2020 12:38

Cat owners also have a common law duty to take reasonable steps to ensure their cats do not cause damage to someone's property or cause injury to anyone

The key words there are 'reasonable steps'. It is not reasonable to expect someone to cover their garden with wire netting.

Cats are highly unlikely to injure people - if frightened, they will flee from anything larger than them.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 17/05/2020 12:39

My dahlias are my property. The cats shitting on them are damaging them and the rest of the plants.

Also, you have to prevent injury to "anyone", not just to someone's property.

So, lock them up. Keep them in.

Fedhimtotigers · 17/05/2020 12:41

So, lock them up. Keep them in.

No. HTH.

qazxc · 17/05/2020 12:41

I would ignore for the while. Perhaps her outburst had to do with the shock and sadness and will dissipate. If she does approach you, I would comesirate on death of bird, but point out that it is unlikely to be one of your cars. Maybe offer her a super soaker so that she can drench any cats stalking her bird table.
It's not your fault but maybe this approach would be better for ongoing neighbourly relations.

heartsonacake · 17/05/2020 12:41

Because we'd need brand new fencing to start, both sides, or it'd a be mesh on top of a 4 foot fence.

If you can’t reasonably afford to keep your animals in a way that doesn’t intrude on others then you shouldn’t have them.

understandmenow · 17/05/2020 12:42

Not sure why is so difficult to understand that your pet has to be under your control, and that it should not be out killing and shitting wherever it pleases.

How many arrests have been made for letting cats roam, what's the mandatory sentence for this "crime".

Absolutely ridiculous!

Fedhimtotigers · 17/05/2020 12:43

If you can’t reasonably afford to keep your animals in a way that doesn’t intrude on others then you shouldn’t have them.

Pity we can't apply the same rules to people and their crotch goblins.

Pelleas · 17/05/2020 12:43

A meshed over garden would be an eyesore, not just for the owners but for neighbours as well. In no time at all, it would be covered in bird poo.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 17/05/2020 12:45

What is ridiculous is cat owners insisting on their cat's "right to roam" while forgetting the responsibilities that come with having a pet.

It's really sad seeing the disregard for wildlife and people's distress shown by cat owners here.

Pelleas · 17/05/2020 12:46

What is ridiculous is cat owners insisting on their cat's "right to roam" while forgetting the responsibilities that come with having a pet.

We have no need to 'insist on it'. It's part of the law. Something is either legal or illegal - no need to 'insist' if it's legal.

HeckyPeck · 17/05/2020 12:48

Once we humans have stopped ruining the planet for other species, then perhaps we can start to judge what other species do. Until then, it's the utmost in arrogance and hypocrisy to judge a cat for killing a bird.

Yep.

Dieu · 17/05/2020 12:49

My cat is a mouser. I don't care about the mice, but do find it upsetting when he catches a bird. Thing is, I wish I could get a collar with bell on him. I did try soon after bringing him home from the rescue centre. He's a good-natured boy, but he lost his shit completely, and I've never tried again since. So please don't assume!

understandmenow · 17/05/2020 12:50

But @ChardonnaysPetDragon you're stating things that are just not true, what's the point?

You may think that cats come should not roam under common duty law, but it's just not true, it just says reasonable steps. So it's pointless saying that they aren't allowed to roam. I really don't see any cat owner being taken to court for their pet killing a bird.

TSSDNCOP · 17/05/2020 12:51

I don’t know, how about we reverse it. Would you be upset and overreacting if her bird attacked and possibly killed one of your cats?

I think I'd like to see this bird, I'd like to stay firmly on it's good side.

Dieu · 17/05/2020 12:51

Or rather, people in general shouldn't assume or judge. Sounded like I was aiming my previous comment to posters on here, when I wasn't Smile

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