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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to smother DH with my pillow?

51 replies

SHUTUPPLEASEEE · 17/05/2020 00:37

Because he will not stop snoring/making annoying noises at night.

Seriously he sleeps with his mouth wide open and it makes a loud clicking noise which sends me absolutely insane. I can't sleep a wink once I can hear it, it is SO ANNOYING.

I can't use the ear plugs I have as they make my ears really sore, any recommendations for decent ones?

I really can't stand it anymore, in spending another night on the bloody sofa.

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 17/05/2020 00:39

I feel your pain!

Haretodaygonetomorrow · 17/05/2020 00:44

Yanbu. Don’t go to the sofa though. Wake him up and send him.

Butterymuffin · 17/05/2020 00:49

Is this a new thing? I take it you don't have a spare room - if that's the case then I agree it's his turn for the sofa.

To try a more conciliatory approach, would one of those background noise sleep apps (seashore tidal noise etc) drown it out enough?

Sparklesocks · 17/05/2020 00:52

Oof I feel your pain! My DP snores like nothing I’ve ever heard, sometimes it sounds like his soul is trying to escape from his body.

Something I find helpful is earphones plugged into my phone and I play rain noises or white noise type playlists. It’s still a ‘sound’ but it’s soothing and drowns him out.

unchienandalusia · 17/05/2020 00:53

My DH regularly sleeps in the spare room. Sorry not much help but it's the only way I get a decent sleep.

AnnofPeeves · 17/05/2020 00:57

I put my pillow at the bottom of the bed so I'm physically further away from the racket, and wear women-specific ear plugs. Snore Store do a selection pack so you can try lots of different types: www.snorestore.co.uk/acatalog/earplug-samples-for-women.html#SID=5

Weenurse · 17/05/2020 00:58

If he stops breathing in his sleep, it could be sleep apnoea, and needs treatment.
If not, try sewing a pocket into the back of his PJ’s and put a tennis ball in, this prevents him lying on his back, when snoring is generally worse.
Also he could try nasal strips.
1 man I met had a special collar around his neck for sleeping, that somehow stopped his snoring.
Also weight loss and staying clear of alcohol.

Original poster
SHUTUPPLEASEEE · 17/05/2020 00:59

No spare room, when my step kids aren't here I tend to borrow their room! But they are staying for a few nights now so sofa it is.

I feel bad, it's not his fault obviously but honestly it drives me absolutely crackers. He has one nostril that is permanently blocked so he breathes through his mouth, the noise is like thr back of his throat catching every time he breathes if that makes sense?

I've just ordered some ear plugs that have good reviews so fingers crossed.

I've tried white noise through headphones and it definitely helped but I can't sleep all night with the headphones in as it gives me sore ears after a while.

OP posts:
BrandyandBabycham · 17/05/2020 01:01

DH snores - if we go to bed at the same time it’s not usually a problem unless I can’t drop off for another reason but as I often go up after him, it bothers me. He sometimes makes odd repetitive noises too which annoy me more than the snoring! I nudge him to turn onto his side which works for a while at least. Apparently I snore too but rolling me into my side makes no difference!
I would look at your DH’s lifestyle. Does he smoke? Drink heavily? Eat heavy meals close to bedtime? Has he been to the docs to see if he has any nasal or sinus problems? You have my sympathies OP

BrandyandBabycham · 17/05/2020 01:02

Onto not into!

Original poster
SHUTUPPLEASEEE · 17/05/2020 01:04

There doesn't really seem to be anything in his lifestyle that could be causing it. He's slim, healthy, drinks extremely rarely and doesn't smoke.

The only thing that works is me falling asleep first. If I don't though I've had it and I won't get a wink.

OP posts:
Original poster
SHUTUPPLEASEEE · 17/05/2020 01:06

sometimes it sounds like his soul is trying to escape from his body

Sorry that gave me a bit of a giggle Grin

OP posts:
BrandyandBabycham · 17/05/2020 01:14

Has he been to his GP about his blocked nostril?

Butterymuffin · 17/05/2020 01:14

I wouldn't use earphones, I would just play the white noise aloud from your phone. It's what we did when DH had a spell of sleep trouble. Your husband is asleep, why the need for earphones?

DrMadelineMaxwell · 17/05/2020 01:15

Oh my god I know what you mean. Dh used to snore and make the most hideous noises in his sleep and had apnoea. He refused to go to the doctor for a long time. When he did they diagnosed t2 diabetes and he put himself on a diet. He's lost over 3 stone.
And no longer snores unless lying on his back and that is relatively quiet and ignorable.
I still can't believe it after sleeping next to
a warthog for so many years.

PeppersYellow · 17/05/2020 01:18

Google it-there are nose clips that are like a bullring that the snorer wears. Worth a try. I sympathise OP. We sleep separately because of the same issue. Used to be exhaustef!

Original poster
SHUTUPPLEASEEE · 17/05/2020 01:21

He's not been to the GP but it's such hard work trying to get him to go there. I actually can't think of a time he's been to a doctor in all the years we've been together! He hates it. I may have to insist though.

I'd have to use headphones because he won't sleep with something playing so it's a bloody pain.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 17/05/2020 01:22

@Butterymuffin for me the earphones help localise the sound, without them it just sounds like white noise with a chorus of snoring in the background. The headphones being in my ears seems to be the thing that helps because it means no other sounds get in.

Nicknamegoeshere · 17/05/2020 01:24

I totally understand your pain! OH snores like a pig constantly, not helped by the fact he's on meds. No spare room either.

Oh, and I'm also 38 weeks' pregnant!

Total nightmare!!

TheFrenchLieutenantsMonkey · 17/05/2020 01:37

I'm the snorer. I have obstructive sleep apnoea. I went to the GP as DH was worried as i held my breath when i was sleeping. I now have a CPAP machine which, although it takes abit of getting used to makes me feel like I've actually slept! Plus I don't snore with it on so DH sleeps better too.

catmagnett · 17/05/2020 01:47

That god-awful clicking noise... We call it tennis snoring!

I use a headphone headband, far more comfortable than earbuds... and more effective at overall noise cancelling.

Euclid · 17/05/2020 01:51

My husband snored and it annoyed me but I put up with it because I loved him and I knew that he couldn't help it. One morning he died in his sleep of a heart attack. I would give anything to hear his snores again.

Weenurse · 17/05/2020 01:55

Sounds like he needs a septoplasty, where the septum is repositioned to allow air to enter.
GP visit once lockdown ends.

NerdyBird · 17/05/2020 02:01

He needs to go to the dr after lockdown. I've had surgery on my nose to correct breathing problems, had to insist on a referral to ENT. I know two other people who've had the same. It made a huge difference to all of us.

Twofurrycatsagain · 17/05/2020 02:09

My ex snored horrendously. He was rail thin so no joy with the losing weight idea. He had an over the counter gargle thing that helped a bit. A prescription nasal spray was better when I finally got him to go to the doctors. He also ground his teeth at times. If I could get to sleep before him it wasn't too bad but this was rare.
Get him to do something about it though - I didn't realise how sleep deprived I was until he moved out.

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