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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to find "work socials" more draining and boring than work itself?

31 replies

SmoothAvocado · 16/05/2020 21:23

AIBU to find "work socials" more draining and boring than work itself?

I don't know if it's just me but it feels so forced and I can think of a million things I'd rather be doing with that time including:
1)Sleeping
2)Doing actual work
3)Watching TV
4)Phoning family
5)Mumsnet lol
6)Listening to music

That feeling of "when will this be over" has gotten slightly worse with the whole "zoom quiz" things they organise. I go to them to make an effort to be social but I often dread it.

I guess I'm probably not a super social person anyway generally.

OP posts:
wonderstuff · 16/05/2020 21:25

I don't like work socials, but I think I'm in a minority. I don't really like if I have to meet with more than 4 others that I know well. I find parties and stuff very stressful.

Nishky · 16/05/2020 21:26

Not me. I love my workmates and we have a great laugh

noface5 · 16/05/2020 21:34

I'm not a social person at all and I'm pretty much happy about it, I intentionally avoid anything involving social outings Grin

emsyj37 · 16/05/2020 21:36

I really enjoy socialising with my work colleagues. It's a very mixed bunch and I like almost all of them. The social scene is the best part of my job.

user1471565182 · 16/05/2020 21:37

oh god yeah why do people do this. Its always the same bloody organiser, the same person whop constantly brings around the sponsor form. I remember the social organiser kept us in a meeting once for no reason so I had to get a train much later, because 'I dont want to go home to my kids'. Thats why they do these things.

user1471565182 · 16/05/2020 21:38

Or even worse half work/social after hour meeting things when people wont shutup so you can get home earlier

BSintolerant · 16/05/2020 21:40

Forced fun - no thanks! I’ve watched enough episodes of The Muppet Show already. Grin

AIBU to find "work socials" more draining and boring than work itself?
DissociatedDinosaur · 16/05/2020 21:43

Sometimes me.

It depends who is there. If one of my colleagues is going there is not a hope in hell I will be turning up (they are awful when drunk and it is usually directed towards me). Mostly now we have secret meet ups with a few colleagues who I also consider friends. They are pretty fun, I am very shy and it is a good group for me to be myself in.

I do not like the big Summer and Christmas ones. I have very carefully booked my annual leave to avoid both of these this year. They are way too false and all everyone does it talk about work and bitch about colleagues.

SpeedofaSloth · 16/05/2020 21:45

YANBU, but I am very introverted and I guess maybe not representative, possibly.

Redleathertrousers · 16/05/2020 22:05

YANBU at all.

Original poster
SmoothAvocado · 17/05/2020 00:29

Thanks everyone so far

OP posts:
Hwyrynos · 17/05/2020 02:12

Love proper socials.... hate zoom quizzes tho. So yab-semi-u

ilovesooty · 17/05/2020 02:18

I used to love social events with my colleagues and I've kept in touch with many of them. I like zoom quizzes too. People are all different.

1300cakes · 17/05/2020 02:35

I like irl ones but I would never attend a zoom one. Boring and awkward.

TimothyTerrible · 17/05/2020 02:36

I used to like joining in with work social stuff when I was much younger. I stopped about 20 years ago when some difficult personal bereavements resulted in being cheery socially at a bit too much. I discovered that actually I preferred to keep work separate from the rest of my life. I’ve kept to that since and been much happier. On the odd occasion I do social work stuff these days I’ve always wished I hadn’t. Everyone is different, do what works for you.

CatOnLaptop · 17/05/2020 03:19

I think it really depends on whether you like your colleagues!

Also, even when you do, if you're so stretched you feel you aren't seeing enough of your family or whatever, you can feel resentful of the time a work social takes. I've had that, where even though I like my colleagues and had a great night out, ultimately it's a night with people I frequently seem to spend more time with than my family and actally I just want to see my family more!

eaglejulesk · 17/05/2020 03:47

YANBU - I rarely enjoyed a work social and didn't go to most of them. I really liked the people I worked with (unemployed at present after two long time jobs) but once it's time to leave the office then that was "my time" and I didn't want to be reminded of work.

GameChange123 · 17/05/2020 04:08

I'm the person on the zoom call who doesn't use the camera. I prefer to use my work photo so they know it is me iyswim.
Loved that Muppets picture!!!
Did do a zoom quiz with work colleagues for charity and that was not too bad. I do find zoom video conf very performative. There is some research taking place about new ways of working and it seems some people prefer visual of zoom than others.

GameChange123 · 17/05/2020 04:10

I think I don't like the blurring of home and work. I like to keep the 2 separate. The camera feels intrusive and that I am always "on"! which I resent deeply

Ritascornershop · 17/05/2020 05:12

YABU because nothing in the world is more boring and draining than work. Having said that I haven’t gone to work socials in 20+ years as since I left my first field I have only worked with tossers of the first order and I wouldn’t throw my tea on them if they were on fire (well, the small group who I currently work in the same building with and am at the same pay grade at are lovely, the tossers are the majority who outnumber us 4 to 1 and make life unbearable).

Redskylark · 17/05/2020 06:22

I dont like work socials, I dont go out much though so I'm pretty choosy about when I do.i had a babysitter for the last xmas party but chose to go out for dinner with my husband instead, for me that was a better use of a rare baby sitter. It does back fire though as I often feel left out and unpopular at work but hey ho that's what I get when I dont take opportunities to get to know my colleagues away from work

GeriGeranium · 17/05/2020 07:18

Hated them. Best thing about quitting work to stay home was that I didn’t have to go to them anymore. I actually liked my job but hated the constant and pretty much compulsory socials.

Sunbird24 · 17/05/2020 07:25

I like my work colleagues, but they’re all men with very different interests from me, so can’t imagine anything worse than doing video calls with them every week. I get to see 3 of them on a regular basis anyway as we’re the minimum manning element, everyone else is wfh but we have a dial-in twice a week for work chat and a WhatsApp group for sharing stupid memes. That’s enough for me!

blueandpinkandyellow · 17/05/2020 07:33

op why do you go to them to make an effort to be social if you dislike socialising with work colleagues so much? I'm at a point in life where I want to keep work and the very limited time I have for socialising separate for various reasons, so dont go to any work social events anymore. If my colleagues judge me for that, it's their issue not mine.

beela · 17/05/2020 07:36

Yanbu.

Someone suggested a work social to an escape room recently... I can't think of anything worse than being locked in a room with the people I am stuck in an office with all day!

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