To convert our loft when we have elderly neighbours

[Corruptedtongue]

We bought a 2 bed semi detached bungalow about a year ago - with a view to converting the loft space. About a third of the bungalows along our road have already been converted. The other interested buyer was a property developer. We have 2 children, our one year old is still sleeping in the bedroom with us, and we really need the extra space. We have had plans drawn up and passed by the council. We need a party wall agreement and our neighbours have instructed a surveyor. They’ve asked us to change our plans twice, which we’ve done - and now need to resubmit to planning. We are on good terms with them, but I know they are concerned. It’s obviously going to be hellish for them when we have the work done. They have already extended their property at the back, but now into their roof space. I’d love to hear your thoughts? Thanks!

What have they asked you to change? Were they reasonable requests?

Far less complex issue, but we communicate with the son in law of our elderly neighbour because otherwise she becomes very flustered. She has an enormous Ash tree, which has Ash die back. The roots are interfering with our foundations and have destroyed our drive way.

We know she LOVES the tree - it is beautiful. But we’ve carefully approached it with her son in law and she’s now agreed to have it cut back. Tree surgeon spoke to her and told her the whole thing needed to come down (which was our view). It coming from tree surgeon and her son in law has helped a LOT.

Could you ask her directly about family? There might be someone who could be the go-between for you?

I know . I’m afraid they’ll worry about the work so much, it’ll make them ill!

It’s lovely you’re worried about them, but that is not your problem. They need to understand this is your home and you have every right to do this sort of work on it.

I think the surveyor is our only go between. I’m absolutely sure they don’t have family, she says how much she adores children - almost a bit sadly? Like they couldn’t have any?

You sound like good and thoughtful neighbours, but I agree they have had a conversion done to improve their property...so now they cannot expect you not to.

Tbh I think if you have already made concessions crack on. Delay is only going to make them anxious for longer.
I would also be wary of changing your plans again unless it won't get through planning. My dsis got halfway through a planning application making huge concessions when she realised that actually she was now building an extension her neighbours wanted rather than she wanted and her original plans were well within what planning would allow

You are really overthinking this.

I'm a bit baffled why this is even an issue- you have every right to extend your house and THEY have extended their own house FGS!
Why is it ok for them to extend but not you?

Extend your house and enjoy the extra space!

OP- i think you should read some books from amazon on people pleasing. I get the feeling from your posts that you are the type of person to take responsibility for everyone else's feelings when really its not your responsibility at all (I know because I used to be like that).
Its an admirable quality but it WILL drag you down and hurt you in the long run.

Tbh you’re probably more likely to adore children if you didnt have them.

I’d crack on, it’s not like you’ll be converting your roof every day & you’ll want it over soon as possible too.

I’m surprised by the responses here, it sounds like it will cause them a lot of stress, is moving an option.

@Northernparent68 they bought the bungalow a year ago with a view to extending, as others in the street have! Moving doesn’t sound like an option does it? Astronomical waste of time and money.

The OP just needs to crack on. Neighbours are being unreasonable.

My ndn substantially extended their property over 2 storeys when they were in their 40’s, 20 years before we arrived. Dh and I moved in and a couple of years later wanted to extend our house on the ground floor only and remodel our property. She was really pissed off and stopped speaking to us. I get the noise, dust and disruption was horrible. We did offer to pay for car and window cleaning as well as get them a very big bunch of flowers. All was rejected and the latter of which was returned. Prior to this they got on with us well and bought dd a presents.

There was most certainly one rule for them and another for us. They were mid 60’s btw. Still very active.

Your neighbours have the benefit of an extension and are asking you not to do the same. That isn’t fair. I appreciate the noise will be disruptive. But there cannot be one rule for them and another for you.

The party wall process is different from the planning one. They have very limited 'rights' in relation to the party wall. Get the party wall issue sorted first and only focus on things that impact on the party wall. Once you have done that, you can plan the rest of your attic extension as you wish. If they object they will have to do so through the planning process and only the merit of valid planning objections will be considered. The party wall process is not a stick to beat a planning applicant with and, while they may adore your children, they do need to understand that the extension is happening and that driving up the party wall costs unnecessarily is inconsiderate.

Oh and they asked us to change the extension. We didn’t as we had already decided the concessions we would make for them. Ie not extending as far as we wanted for the sake of neighbourly relations.

is moving an option
why?
The roof will need to be stripped completely anyway (for repairs), irrespective of the conversion works.
I'd be reluctant to change anything more just to suit them as it's causing you a delay and more expense for Planning and Building Regs. Can you put a limit on how much you have to fund their appointed expensive surveyor?
Make sure you're not too accommodating with this - you have planning permission so you're not being unreasonable with the building works.

If they're opposed, they're being selfish. They converted their home when they needed to and it suited them. You are entitled to do the same thing.

My old next door neighbour had her whole house done

Took about 4 months. It was fine. Lots of banging. But you knew it was going to end. They did start banging though at 7pm once. But I asked them if they would be able to stop at around 6 and they were good to their word. After that I never heard a peep

It finished about 2 months after that and I loved my neighbour. She's still my friend today and came to my wedding. Her husband drove me there actually.

As long as it's considerate. That's all you can do.

It’s very neighbourly of you to try to keep them happy, but are the changes they have requested reasonable or is it a case of trying to hold you up. You’ve had to resubmit to planning, how long will that take? Not sure why you need a shared surveyor?

I’m surprised by the responses here, it sounds like it will cause them a lot of stress, is moving an option

Moving? lol this is ridiculous- moving costs a fortune once youve figured in stamp duty etc

Can you tell us why its apparently ok for the neighbours to extend their house yet not the OP? why didnt the neighbours just move instead of extending their property? why is this ok for them but not others?

My neighbours had a loft conversion and there were only a few days which were noisy. It really wasn't any more of an issue than any other building work.

You've been more than considerate OP. Time to crack on. I'd be concerned for my neighbour, shes not old but works nights. But I know if we had it done she would just grin and bear it.
You cant keep sleeping with your child in with you indefinitely. Get it done this summer!

They nearly always seem to be done within 6 weeks.

Just do it, you cannot put your life on hold just because you have neighbours.
You are adding to the value of the neighbourhood unlike my previous neighbour who let his house go to rack and ruin and all our house prices fell accordingly.

It's your property, you are entitled to do what you like with it as long as you respect the terms of the planning permission. The alternative is that you move house and the next owners will probably convert the loft space. Your neighbours will just have to lump it, elderly or not.