Should I say something or just keep my mouth shut?

[yesornoisthatthewaytogo]

I don't want to out myself too much so I'm not going to say what my job description is but I have been there for nearly 6 months now and I am starting to get irritated with the team leader. Every day, there's always something I am doing wrong or I haven't 'done'.

She has expected me to start work right away as soon as I get in the door even though I still had 30 mins to go, so I refused to and said I start work at x time. I always start 10 minutes before my actual shift! First thing in the mornings, 90% of the time she comes to me in a stern way and tell me off like I'm a child without even knowing facts, she just assumes and blames me straight away. I have been defensive and said my bit as well because I am an adult and will not be spoken to like a child.

All I can say is that I am very experienced at what I do and I have had compliments from other people about how well I do it, so I can't be that bad can I? She checks what I am doing all the time, more than she should be doing her own work. If I haven't done something YET, she will come to me and imply that I haven't done it and that I need to do it now. I am doing my absolute best to try and get things done in a short amount of time that I'm there, I don't even take my breaks half of the time yet I am expected to do more jobs than I'm able to.

I am starting to get really irritated and bothered by it but I don't want to tell my manager because they've been there for so many years and I've only been there a short amount of time so I don't think anything I say will really count :(

I feel like because she's been there a lot longer than me and is older than me that she likes having control over me and belittling me. She will come straight to me, even if I am in front of everyone and start telling me off in a "nice" way, which is so unprofessional surely? I wouldn't dream of doing that to somebody. Everyone else who I work with are absolutely wonderful and so kind, so for me to leave just because of one person would be a shame :(

Do you have other colleagues what do they say.

I would complain before leaving. What have you got to lose at this point

What sort of thing is she telling you off for?

You need to be a bit tactical. Ask her for a detailed list of what she wants done each day. Go and check lots of stuff with her. Serve the control back to her so that it's not satisfying anymore.

Also, only enter the office just before it's actually time to start work.

She sounds like a cow, but a couple of things you said made me suspect a possibility of you not liking being managed (or managed by her). Almost a chip on your shoulder that she doesn't give you enough credit and trust you enough to leave you to it.

It's a personality clash at the very least. You can be sacked for any reason (or no reason at all) in the first two years so tread carefully. I'd suck it up if you can and everyone else is lovely.

I've had one of those bosses. It's horrible and sucks the soul from you. Time to leave I think. Life's too short to be in a job that makes you sad and anxious.

Why do you go into work 30 minutes before starting?

Reminds me of my awful year at a well known super market OP.
I only did it for research purposes but it truly was a year from hell.
Supervisors felt threatened by anyone who appeared more capable than they were, and so much bullying/ underhand tactics.

I don't mind being managed at all, that's her job.. No bother there but what I don't like is being spoken to like an idiot especially in front of other people as well.

The way I see it is that there is a way of doing it discreetly and respectfully and I always apologise or own up to something if I know I'm in the wrong but there has been many occasions where I know for a fact that I haven't done anything wrong but she accuses me anyway.

I don't want to say what she's telling me off for because of outing but she is telling me off for things that she thinks I HAVE NOT done but I have absolutely DONE them 100%.

@TARSCOUT sorry I was supposed to say 20 minutes (pressed no3 instead of 2), and because I like to sit down and have a cup of tea before starting.

Keep a diary of every incident and join a union. If your as efficient as you say she may well be jealous/resentful of your abilities. Set a meeting with her to discuss things but do not have a meeting without a witness, preferably a union rep.

Sounds like she's micromanaging you and is a horrible manager

I went through this myself - I could have written your post word for word. I left the job. It was not worth my sanity. I cannot express how delighted I was on my last day, and I never had to work with this person again. I knew I couldn't change her, or the way she treated me. And like you, I was doing my best and working incredibly hard.

Can you set up a structured time table at the start of each day /week / month ?
I have found it helps me keep organised but in your case in will show her you are organised and when you expect to have each project / task done
ie important emails responded to in x length of time
Spend x amount of time on project X

x length of time for staff meetings
obviously times need to be fairly flexible, and dont forget to structure in breaks

Go to your manager with your rational points laid out and go with an attitude of concern and looking for help regarding the situation. Ask her to help you navigate working more seamlessly with your immediate boss but still explain the way you handle your work tasks. I wouldn't just quit and leave without trying.

Personally I would keep a note of every time it happens and let her see you are writing the note . Put x asked me why I had not done y . I told x it was complete.

If she asks you what you are writing you just say it’s an improvement plan for myself.

Bet she stops

I meant to go speak to your overarching manager about your immediate manager/supervisor, by the way.

Could it be that your direct manager is very unsure of herself - perhaps she sees you as a threat to her position.(I don't mean taking on her job, but perhaps being more competent than she is in certain areas) Is there a "neutral" person up the ladder with whom you could organise a three- way talk, put your concerns out there - you are relatively new in the department and it might be a questions of different expectations.

Definitely keep a diary. I would even start writing it down in front of her. If she asks what you’re doing, just say “Oh, just writing this down...” and let her know calmly and publicly that you are not yet due to start work until x time,Bor to please email her complaint about whatever piece of work that she thinks that you have not completed and cc HR and you will do the same with proof of completed work. Every time.

Thank you all so much for your suggestions, guys. I think writing down notes is a wonderful idea so I am going to start doing that for sure and one thing I'm just a bit worried about is completing falling out with her. The last thing I want to do is work with someone I've fallen out with :( I know I really should leave but obviously right now that's not really an option I'm lucky to still be working. Just feel upset it's because of one person. When she's on holiday, work goes so nice and smooth and I actually enjoying going in.

I suspect the reason she’s doing this is because she is feeling threatened, otherwise why bother? Does she do this to anyone else? Marking her territory, maybe?

@justilou1 why would she feel threatened though? Sounds like a million dollar question! Lol. She's been there for so many years she's got no reason to feel threatened at all. I am trying my hardest to do things right and I always go the extra mile, even carrying out things that are not in my job description to make her life that little bit easier but what's the point really?

Do you have 1-2-1s with your line manager? Have you been set any sort of annual performance plan which should come with regular reviews? This is where these issues should be brought up - you could do it in a self-effacing way as in 'I obviously need to work on xy and z as I'm pulled up for it in front of the team' and 'I feel demotivated when my work is criticised in public, is this something I should work on?' I agree with note keeping in front of your team leader and the rest of the team and would say 'I'm writing down what you've just said so I can learn from it'. A bit of the old passive-aggressive should help. Good luck.

The other thing you could do is email her every time you have completed a task. If you've told her it's done, she doesn't need to ask you about it and if she does then she's clearly unreasonable.

My sister had a person come to work for her and despite her explaining why 'we should do' certain stuff a certain way, the person kept doing it their own way. The last straw for her was when this person lied about dealing with something straight away ( as it should have been ) when in reality they made the client wait, and get more annoyed, for an hour and a half? That coupled with a grumpy/entitled /pissy attitude made sure they didn't get onto permanent staff basis.

If you are listening, doing as asked and have a good attitude then I can't see why they are being like this to you ? Maybe just actually ask for a frank chat to see where the problem is so that you can address it.

I've had this, I put up with it for a very long time because I was the newbie and didn't want to raise it with our manager for fear of rocking the boat. Then she started it with someone else, we both spoke to our manager who was horrified. Started the informal resolving issues process, nasty cow went sick and has now left. Things are MUCH better. Dont suffer and certainly dont leave, why should you?

I would recommend each and every time she comes to you in front of others to belittle or critique you that you say” I am more than happy to discuss this in private” and then get up and head out to the Hall another room etc straight away. Be exceptionally professional- follow up every conversation where she critiques you with an short email - very succinct that says “following our conversation you raised such and such and I advised such and such- any further issues please advise”. No big all windy explanations or feelings etc added just to the point that you HAD done the task etc. If her issue is micromanaging/ like to show off in front of other staff to make herself feel big this will help reduce this. If you don’t allow her that opportunity to address you like that in front of colleagues( by immediately getting up) she will very quickly tire of this. Same with taking notes/ following up with emails to her - she will realise you are being assertive and not a push over. Be confident, absolutely professional to the T and hopefully the situation will improve!