Should I say something or just keep my mouth shut?

[yesornoisthatthewaytogo]

I don't want to out myself too much so I'm not going to say what my job description is but I have been there for nearly 6 months now and I am starting to get irritated with the team leader. Every day, there's always something I am doing wrong or I haven't 'done'.

She has expected me to start work right away as soon as I get in the door even though I still had 30 mins to go, so I refused to and said I start work at x time. I always start 10 minutes before my actual shift! First thing in the mornings, 90% of the time she comes to me in a stern way and tell me off like I'm a child without even knowing facts, she just assumes and blames me straight away. I have been defensive and said my bit as well because I am an adult and will not be spoken to like a child.

All I can say is that I am very experienced at what I do and I have had compliments from other people about how well I do it, so I can't be that bad can I? She checks what I am doing all the time, more than she should be doing her own work. If I haven't done something YET, she will come to me and imply that I haven't done it and that I need to do it now. I am doing my absolute best to try and get things done in a short amount of time that I'm there, I don't even take my breaks half of the time yet I am expected to do more jobs than I'm able to.

I am starting to get really irritated and bothered by it but I don't want to tell my manager because they've been there for so many years and I've only been there a short amount of time so I don't think anything I say will really count :(

I feel like because she's been there a lot longer than me and is older than me that she likes having control over me and belittling me. She will come straight to me, even if I am in front of everyone and start telling me off in a "nice" way, which is so unprofessional surely? I wouldn't dream of doing that to somebody. Everyone else who I work with are absolutely wonderful and so kind, so for me to leave just because of one person would be a shame :(

I would speak to her manager and saying that you are having difficulty in your relationships with x that you would like to resolve in a constructive way as you feel that at the moment it’s become a bad relationship for you both. If you make it sound like you would like to get the relationship back on a more positive footing rather than you just complaining about her then it shows you are willing to do your part.

Get another job.

I have one of these. She isn't even my line manager. Yesterday, I saw her hurl herself front and centre of an email conversation she'd only been copied into as a courtesy, demand to take the task I'd been asked to handle away from me, make tons of work for three other people and then report back to twelve people, ensuring that the all got to see she was explaining to me VERY CAREFULLY something that was VERY Important.

The hugely difficult task? Sending an email but not sending it to one person in particular.

She also informs me regularly that I shouldn't take my lunch break, will hunt me down if I don't regularly change my location with a bullshit emergency to sort and believes I leave my phone in the staff room because I don't answer her when she calls me on my break. Oh, and the receptionist lies and says I haven't been past when she goes looking for me.

If she's speaking to you about your work the minute you get into the office then I'd take that opportunity to say "is there anything that needs to be prioritised today" then you can ensure those things are done first and she can't later complain.

I hate working for micro managers they're a pain in the arse.

If she’s the only person who is a problem and everyone else is lovely I wouldn’t leave. There could be someone like this wherever you work. Sometimes I think it’s better the devil you know. I think making notes or killing her with kindness is the way to go.

Some people are just bullies and you may be her current victim. Keeping notes is good. Asking for a conversation to be private is good.

Ask her to clarify exactly what she wants you to do differently and make a note. Every single time, ask her to put her request in an email. If she doesn't, you email her, saying something like, "After our talk when you asked to speak to me on (date) at (time) I now understand you want me to do x instead of y." Copy in her line manager. These emails will pile up and show a pattern of micromanagement shading into harassment that will help senior management to grasp the picture.

Bring a keep cup and have your pre-work cuppa in the car park in peace, if you drive to work. Ten minutes early and straight down to it is more than good enough!

Being hassled for job C when you're doing A and B is a nightmare that can never end, so when you have that talk, ask her which type of task she wants you to routinely prioritise. Again, get it on record in emails. Then when she asks why you aren't doing job C right now, you say,

"I'm following the priorities you asked for as we agreed, and I'm working on B right now so if you want job C done first, I'll have to leave B now and it will go further down the list of course. Is that your instruction? "

With the bully boss, always clarify that they instructed you to stop working on something, or the abandoned job will be the next complaint!

You need to be looking for a better job with a better boss, though. 🙄

Don't take on tasks that are out with your remit. The more you take on the more your expected to do and the worse it will get. If those tasks are hers leave them for her to do.. If she's got time to harass you then she's got time to do those other tasks. When keeping the diary make sure to keep a note of the time the work you do is completed. You may find that if you're the only one she picks on it's because others have confronted her or put in a complaint. A colleague did this to me,I complained and it turned out she'd wanted someone else for the job. She was also a very capable woman frustrated at a lack of opportunity to move forward.

You need to say 'don't talk to me as if i'm a child and not in front of work colleagues as its very disrespectful' Stand up to her, your only need to do it once. Have you joined a Union?

Wowfudge makes an excellent point. If you're emailing her then you have proof that you've informed her, and at what time the task was completed. Plus if you're no longer doing her tasks, she has time to do them herself.

Show her your daily "to do" list, smile sweetly & say "the longer we talk, the slower I'll get down my task list". She can't accuse you of needing organising if you have that, should things get nasty. I also dated & ticked as soon as complete. I'd show it them every time they asked, with notes by undone stuff like 'awaiting input required' or 'half complete, finish tomorrow when item needed arrives'
Don't be so early either, even if it means sitting outside with a nice coffee. To the total arse who emailed 20mins after giving me stuff 'how are you getting on with that list', I'd email back 2 words: "in hand" then ignore follow ups. We finally had words & I told them I'm 50, not 5, I don't need micromanaging & I will go to HR is you can't accept that. Cue very flustered, embarrassed manager & an apology.

Thank you everyone... I wasn't looking forward to going into work today and rightly so as soon as I got in and went into the staff room, she came to me and started complaining that I haven't done x and y. I said I did it on x day as I have written it down and someone obviously moved it somewhere else. Then she started telling me I need to start prioritising my time doing more things and I just said tell me where to magic time up! I'm not even taking any breaks because I'm so busy doing stuff and going the extra mile to get them done properly. She's just getting to me really badly now that I don't even look forward to going into work anymore.

You need to complain about her formally.

I’m just going out on a limb but is this a public sector organisation?

You've had lots of good advise and I really hope things get better for you. My only input is that I would stop coming in early to sit and have a cup of tea. I have a feeling it really annoys your boss and sets the whole day off on the wrong foot.

Brings back memories of an old boss of mine but she used to be controlling towards everyone. Having a good attitiude is irrelevant with these bullies; they will always find something. The irony is this woman turned the whole department into clock watchers who started and finished on the dot and did only what was absolutely necessary. I still remember the joy of handing in my notice; she asked me what my new employers were paying me and I told her it was none of her business; that felt sooooo sweet.

It really annoys me people who get in early and sit there doing nothing and refuse to work u til your start time- you just seem really petty! Have a cuppa at home, come in just before your shift it just makes you seem unprofessional and not a team player.

The part of your post that stood out was where you said you do tasks that are hers in order to make her life easier. I suspect this is why she is feeling threatened and behaving like an arse.

You've had some good advice about speaking to her about what to prioritise, that's a good start, as is making a note of all your conversations and maybe emailing her to let you know you've done things (she will soon get fed up of you emailing her constantly)

Just looking at it from another view.
Yes she is managing you badly but you've said that you always go the extra mile even doing things that aren't in your job description to make her life easier.
I once managed someone who would probably describe what they were doing like this but actually, they didn't know what they were doing because it was beyond their level and kept doing it wrong. I had to stay late at work every night to re-do their work which took far longer than just doing it myself in the first place. No matter how many times I asked her to stop she carried on 'helping'.
It might be she wants you to focus on your assigned tasks but isn't very good at communicating this to you.

Sounds like low level bullying to me, I think you need to change the way you speak to her, useful comments are ' I hear what you are saying but I don't agree with that, please can you put in writing exactly what I am doing wrong, ' I know you think this is constructive criticism but please can we do it in private as you are making me anxious' bet she will soon back off, I wouldn't leave, why should you

I do it exactly the same way as she does just so she can get off my back because I can't stand her micro managing me anymore. I don't want to get petty but one thing I will say is she's not perfect at her job and when I've had to take over I've seen so many mistakes and things she's missed but that's not my problem so I don't say anything and I wouldn't dare now because I know she would go crazy if I did. But it's acceptable for her to tell me how to do my work though yesterday was another day. Just as I was leaving, then she picked at me for one particular problem. I just don't know how to take her! She's lovely one minute but she gets on my wick the next.

Ask how long the previous person doing your role stayed.

Apparently they stayed for quite a long time because they was "best friends", so she never said a word to them I'd imagine because they worked together and got on well together but they decided to retire early. So I feel that because I've taken over their role now, she doesn't like that or it just feels that I'm not the same as what their friend used to be because I'm someone who just gets on with my job then goes home. I don't make any friends or anything like that at work. Of course I communicate with them and always get on with everyone which I do, just have an awkward relationship with said person :( I am really trying.

It’s bullying. Plain and simple. She might see how good you are at your job and feel threatened - maybe other managers and staff have mentioned how good you are and she is jealous. Or she has just taken a dislike to you so picks at you. Can you try and find out in a subtle way through your colleagues if others have had problems with her? That might make you feel more confident about having a word with senior management about her behaviour. Long term workers, especially those in management, can be very territorial and controlling and over time, because they get away with it, their behaviour worsens. Don’t let her destroy your self esteem, because she will if it goes on. Discuss with management. Work place bullying is awful.

This sounds like clear victimisation and is go directly to Hr with this, with some written examples as evidence.

Also, it might be a good idea to have a meeting with her to tell her exactly how you feel and have proof of the tasks you have done and completed that she has blamed you for not doing. Sometimes people can give it but back down when it it given back, she might not be used to the confrontation as she sounds like a very intimidating person that people might not want to confront!