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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that some people on Mumsnet are really mean?

71 replies

EducatingRita29 · 15/05/2020 20:23

I would understand more if it was just on controversial posts, but I've noticed lots of people leaving unnecessary harsh/rude/sarcastic comments when the OP clearly upset and seeking advice. I'm guessing the fact that they're anonymous gives them a sense of courage they don't have in real life. I find it really weird.

OP posts:

understandmenow · 15/05/2020 23:11

If you've been here 11/12 years @TheCanyon it might be worth you learning the @ thing? Does that mean if you've been here that long you do really have non existent pals?

StaffAssociationRepresentative · 15/05/2020 23:18

Lots of nasty keyboard warriors on MM. it’s makes you wander what they are like in RL to post with such anger and spite. Some are definitely not supporting mothers at all!

Sparklingbrook · 15/05/2020 23:24

There is a report button if the anger and spite is that bad.

Hernameisdeborah · 15/05/2020 23:29

I'd say the majority of MN posters are basically kind and decent people, but recently there have been some absolute wankers. Mind you, they seem to be mainly from a down market version of this forum who pop over here to troll people on this site before running back off to their stupid little pals to bitch and boast about their antics here.

usernotknown · 15/05/2020 23:39

There are lots of trolls on MN. They often start threads about the meanies on MN.

usernotknown · 15/05/2020 23:41

Oh god yes, the ones who pop over to troll then run back to the oh so nice place are a bit sad.

Gin4thewin · 15/05/2020 23:58

I had to report my own post to be deleted because of the abuse i was getting. Then name change. Someone went as far to search through my previous posts and found where id mentioned what i do for work and insinuated i was a moron effectively and how could i be capable of doing that job based on a question i asked.

Vellum · 16/05/2020 00:07

Gosh, no ones ever previously suggested Mn wasn’t a hive mind of sweetness and light.

pjmask · 16/05/2020 00:10

I don't mind brutal. I hate the lack of intelligent thought, the lack of reasoned argument. It's too easy to gleefully find a weakness and pile in with the majority.

HavenDilemma · 16/05/2020 00:18

@recycledteenager24

I'm a bully basher and report andnasty troll like comments, happy to report mn usually delete them.
some people just needto fuck off and get a life rather bitching and being cruel on here

Two wrongs don't make a right????

HavenDilemma · 16/05/2020 00:20

@BambinoJune Please can you PM me the username so I can keep off threads that I spot his username on? As a survivor of abuse, I just can't be around gaslighting again.

Adoptthisdogornot · 16/05/2020 00:20

I believe there's something chemical going on in the brain that is addictive. So I get really shaky and uncomfortable with confrontation, because adrenalin doesn't agree with me. But for some people it gives them a rush which they then crave more of. Having arguments online is am instant way to satisfy the cravings, which is why there are so many nasty and aggressive trolls out there picking fights online. It's basically a drug addiction. And no, they wouldn't do it in real life, but online they use some handy cognitive dissonance to explain it away, so they can be arseholes but not have to feel bad about it, all the while getting the rush.

HavenDilemma · 16/05/2020 00:25

@EducatingRita29 I totally agree! It seems to be a new 'trend' to find the OP to be in the wrong. It's like they're desperate for a pile on

Bojohair · 16/05/2020 00:26

@Adoptthisdogornot I think you are right as I have seen people like this who seem to live for the online fighting and repeat the same behaviour wherever they post online. They become obsessed with it.

MintyMabel · 16/05/2020 00:51

Very rarely do you see folk being nice on here, probably why they're on here and not chatting to

Oh the irony.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 16/05/2020 01:09

Oh god yes, the ones who pop over to troll then run back to the oh so nice place are a bit sad

Absolutely. There has been an increase in those kinds of drop shit and run posts.

YgritteSnow · 16/05/2020 01:22

That makes a lot of sense @Adoptthisdogornot.

Sparklingbrook · 16/05/2020 08:51

I think that some people on MN start threads on here but don’t return to them.

EmeraldShamrock · 16/05/2020 09:58

It has to be said I personally feel the meanies if you like are a minority.
The support, laughs, information and general kindness in Mnet far outweighs a few mean trolls. Most posters will report or challenge a troll.
Aibu was uses for problems now most topics are started in it.

withgraceinmyheart · 16/05/2020 10:03

It is worse at the moment, I think because we're all stressed and don't have as much contact with real people.

I'm definitely a lot more sensitive at the moment, and might cross more into being 'mean' than I intend to.

Hopefully it will settle down.

Livelovebehappy · 16/05/2020 10:18

Depends on how you interpret meanness. If someone disagrees with your post it doesn’t always mean they’re being mean - just giving their honest opinion. You just have to trawl through the comments and pick out helpful ones, even if they’re telling you to give your head a wobble. If you’re a bit sensitive perhaps AIBU isn’t always the place for you. Relationship/property/money matters rarely have nasty posts, and can be really helpful.

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