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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that some people on Mumsnet are really mean?

71 replies

EducatingRita29 · 15/05/2020 20:23

I would understand more if it was just on controversial posts, but I've noticed lots of people leaving unnecessary harsh/rude/sarcastic comments when the OP clearly upset and seeking advice. I'm guessing the fact that they're anonymous gives them a sense of courage they don't have in real life. I find it really weird.

OP posts:
Rosebel · 15/05/2020 22:21

You can have a different opinion without being totally vile.

EastMidsMumOf1 · 15/05/2020 22:22

Totally agree OP.
People bleat on about be kind etc yet they think somehow they're immune to doing so when they're anonymous.
For saying alot of the nastiness comes from those with children, it would be interesting to see how they'd react if it was their own son/daughter receiving the type of disgusting comments they dish out!

Midsommar · 15/05/2020 22:22

It's a classic case of keyboard warrior syndrome I suspect. People think they're invincible if they are shielded by a computer screen.

tinkerbellla · 15/05/2020 22:25

I agree with you. They'd never say most of it in real life. It's a shame as there are often some really interesting views but then one dickhead derails the topic.

EmeraldShamrock · 15/05/2020 22:25

@GunungBatur
Tbh- don't post in aibu if you can't handle harshness AIBU is for honest answers a different perspective, unlocking the issue.
Not using harsh responses and being a cunt.

aliceinsunderland44 · 15/05/2020 22:26

Yanbu there's a depressing amount of horrible people on here. People love to argue, chastise and demoralise an op. It's really sad. I can only think it's because they need to feel superior for some reason. Overall there's a lot of good banter and great advice to be had but the mean spiritedness does upset me

TheCanyon · 15/05/2020 22:30

When you see the question "what is mn spirit?" The answer is, to be a cunt. Very rarely do you see folk being nice on here, probably why they're on here and not chatting to their non existent pals.

lazylinguist · 15/05/2020 22:31

Well, some people in the world are mean, so it's only logical that on average some MNers must be.

Experimenopause · 15/05/2020 22:33

Usually, when I open Mumsnet, I do it to hear some straight, honest advice. And I always receive it here.
Yes, there are some bullies. And people can express harsher opinions here, depending on the topic. I am feeling particularly harsh about the kind of tone that is being used here for teachers. I am also replying in kind. 🤷🏻‍♀️

EmeraldShamrock · 15/05/2020 22:35

I bet some of the mean keyboard warriors are nice in RL. They wouldn't share their opinion on many controversial subjects in RL- Online there is no fear seeing a real person's reaction.

Macncheeseballs · 15/05/2020 22:38

Vodkaredbull - not sure you can blame it on gender and hormones, some of the bitchiest people I know are men

Experimenopause · 15/05/2020 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PawPawNoodle · 15/05/2020 22:39

i'm a bully basher and report andnasty troll like comments, happy to report mn usually delete them.
some people just needto fuck off and get a life rather bitching and being cruel on here

Christ, the irony of this post is certainly not lost on me.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 15/05/2020 22:43

Christ, the irony of this post is certainly not lost on me.

Too true. Grin

understandmenow · 15/05/2020 22:47

When you see the question "what is mn spirit?" The answer is, to be a cunt. Very rarely do you see folk being nice on here, probably why they're on here and not chatting to their non existent pals.

Does this include you @TheCanyon, do you have non existent pals? Try posting out of AIBU,

BambinoJune · 15/05/2020 22:51

There's one poster I've seen on numerous threads who says the most unkind things. Angry I know from looking through his posts and from the things he says that it's a man, but I think he tries to pose as a woman. He never crossed the line and says something fully reportable, but always dismisses women's concerns or defends the male position- for example on a threat where 99.9% of the posters are advising a woman that her husband treats her disrespectfully and is very likely having an affair, this man will post something like 'don't listen to the hysterical women here. You have no proof and he's probably just stressed' .

It really annoys me. I know men are allowed on here but I hate the idea of them lurking behind a screen name and undermining / gaslighting women. SadSadSad

BambinoJune · 15/05/2020 22:52

*thread not threat

TheCanyon · 15/05/2020 22:53

Plenty pals thanks, in my 11/12 years here ive posted plenty times thanks

JustStayHome · 15/05/2020 22:55

They are keyboard warriors.

Wouldn't dream of saying what they do in real life, because someone would smack them

Happymum12345 · 15/05/2020 22:58

I often wonder why there are so many unhelpful & unpleasant responses to questions on MN. I do not understand the pleasure some people get out of being unkind to others. I’m all for healthy debate, but it quickly plummets to much a less helpful scrum.

vodkaredbullgirl · 15/05/2020 22:58

@Macncheeseballs I was going to mention men as well, but it's mainly women on here.

YgritteSnow · 15/05/2020 22:58

YANBU. To the point and not suffering fools I don't mind. It's the sneering, shaming and absolute dismissal of any view that doesn't toe the MN party line I can't stand. MN has been a toxic dump more often than not since CV arrived.

Seetheprettysnowdrops · 15/05/2020 23:01

YABU

Mean is a word that primary school children use

MN isn't "mean"

Biscuitbiscuits · 15/05/2020 23:03

Well, it certainly depends what you're asking.

See various teacher bashing/nhs bashing/undercover racist threads this week, some of which have been removed.

Sparklingbrook · 15/05/2020 23:08

There's some pretty stupid threads started on here TBF. You can't blame people for being a bit Hmm, especially when it turns out to be a massive troll.