DSis AIBU

[Jammydodger6]

I guess I know I’m BU to some extent. My DSis moved to oz a year ago. She and he DP have permanent visa but they are over there alone. She has since got pregnant, due in Nov.

I’ve heard from my DM that DSis is really piling on the persuasion to move DM over there too. I assume now there’s a baby on the way, she thinks it would be nice to have family nearby.

I rely on my DM emotionally and I think I would struggle if she wasn’t around.

My DP doesn’t want to move to oz and I’m not strongly for it either, although I would.

To add to it my DP and I are having problems, not sure if we’re going to be together. Makes me need my DM around more.

We have a toddler DA. If we split, there’s no way I could ever go to oz. I think DP would have legal rights and I wouldn’t want to split them anyway.

I guess I’m just annoyed at my DSis for persuading all the family to move over and whilst I feel stuck here.

I feel like she moved over there, knowing she’d be alone, have no family etc. But always had the plan to persuade others to follow. But I feel like that is at my disadvantage now :(

I guess I know I’m BU. My DM can do whatever she wants. Just want to moan.

Depending on your mum's skill set. Could she get a work from home job, UK or oz and work 6 months in oz and 6 months here?

Ask you mum to consider how much she really knows about Australia, where ds is living, the weather and the culture. Ask her to consider what would happen to her once her dgc are in school and she won’t be needed by your ds, is your ds willing to house her and support her permanently ? If not where will she live and how much will it cost?
What’s the other costs of living compared to her pension? She probably won’t be able to work to top up her pension if she’s not on the right visa.
What’s the health service like ? - is it free or do you need insurance if so how much ?
What’s elderly care like out there ?

I think there is a risk she won’t settle, find it very expensive and while your ds and her family settle in she will get more and more unhappy but feel pressure to stay.

She probably won’t be able to work to top up her pension
What pension? She’s of working age, not a pensioner.

This could be a non issue. Aus immigration - especially for aged visa holders will be on relative hold for the foreseeable future.
When it does return to relative normal It doesn't have to be all or nothing... your DM could split her time utilising 12month holiday visas between your sister and the uk. If she can't do that I doubt she could afford to emigrate. It's stretched to years + wait for parent visas and unless onshore already, I think it's a non issue at the moment.

It’s not that easy to get a visa to relocate to Oz. Although she would be eligible for a 12 month tourist visa but she would need to leave the country after 12 months. I am Australian but live in the uk - if your mum was up for it a nice option would be to avoid most of the English winter and spend Jan to May in Oz and the back to the Uk for the English summer.
To be honest I would not worry about this now - my mum in Australia said they are going to stop people coming in to the country during the pandemic.