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AIBU?

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Original poster

Homeschool and work from home!!

53 replies

raindripsandroses · 13/05/2020 23:05

I just can't cope anymoreSad - it's 11pm and just finishing up for the night after a day home schooling 2 kids (8 and 6) from 9am to lunch time as both need to be sat with for approx two hours each, then plug them into devices or tv, when I try to work full time from home.
I can do job 100% remotely and in my work we are busier than ever due to COVID! But I'm effectively doing two jobs and I'm just exhausted.
Work are flexible when I do my hours but need to get stuff done and am falling behind, I do kids first as they need to work in the morning - my DH works full time out of home- back today at 8pm!!
Furlough is not an option for either of us as we are needed in our jobs more than ever!
I think I'm going to crack....

OP posts:
Pastryapronsucks · 13/05/2020 23:09

I feel your pain. I just feel like I am failing at both
Work and home learning. It's so stressful, then you are bombarded with the news and social media showing happy smiley family's finding novel and fun ways to fill the time at home......🤬

Teabaseddiet · 13/05/2020 23:14

I hear you. It's similar here. I've had to do less because working into the evening, after trying to work and educate kids all day, was getting me to breaking point.

Is there any way you can reduce your hours? This is an exceptional situation and it's better than you burning out and being signed off sick.

mrsbyers · 13/05/2020 23:21

Can you spread your hours over 7 days to reduce the pressure

Whatsername177 · 13/05/2020 23:27

I feel the same. I'm sitting my preschooler in front of Disney + so that I can work. My school require us to be online 8.30-3.30 and I've had 3 hours worth of zoom meetings today. Dd8 has managed to do her online learning without a battle today but she is bored and fed up. After I put them to bed I worked until about 10pm just catching up on marking and emails. I keep seeing all of these people post fluffyvthungs about creating 'lockdown memories' and all my kids are going to remember is mummy asking them to quiet on down as she needs to work. Sad

quitecontrary123 · 13/05/2020 23:31

I hear you. I am working really long days and all I am achieving is being a half-arsed teacher, parent and employee.

TokyoSushi · 13/05/2020 23:44

Yep, it's utterly rubbish. Teaching is a full time job, my job, is a full time job. Two full time jobs into one person does not go. (DH keyworker, out all day Mon - Fri, so just me, and my two jobs!)

HullabalooToo · 13/05/2020 23:48

As a teacher, I’d say give the kids a day off as and when YOU need it so you can get your work done. Tell the school why.

maddening · 13/05/2020 23:49

Same here, by Friday my head is battered, I need my weekends to clean and sleep so no way would I be spreading over 7 days, that is too much. Our school is doing sweet fa in terms of actually teaching the kids, that would help.

Sarahplane · 15/05/2020 15:42

I feel you. I'm so fucking exhausted with it. DH is a key worker working outside the home full time. I'm also a key worker but can work from home. Work is busier than ever due to covid (workload has increased by 300% for our team) and I'm trying to do this while homeschooling 2 kids. My oldest is 14 and mostly self sufficient but I have an 8 year old who is awaiting autism assessment. Seeing all these people making lockdown memories and having lots of family time, baking etc makes me feel so jealous and guilty. Something has to give. I would actually love to be furloughed but that's definitely not an option. I've just resigned myself to doing my best and thinking that my childless colleagues might just have to pick up the slack for a change or I'll end up ill

Generallybewildered · 15/05/2020 15:59

If one more person tells me to give the kids the day off I will scream. Angry
A day off doing what?!
My son doesn’t read, can’t watch a screen for more than an hour without it affecting his behaviour and has never developed the ability to play independently. As a toddler he literally used to push cars around sobbing, he couldn’t grasp what he was meant to do unless he had someone leading every step of play. At 9 years old he has to work as I literally don’t know what else he could do whilst I desperately try to teach online lessons whilst throwing him helpful hints. I’m exhausted. I can’t do this balancing act any longer.

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 15/05/2020 16:34

if you are extra busy does that make you an essential worker, so your kids can go to school?

Icopiedyourusername · 15/05/2020 16:46

I could have written your post and whilst I have no advice you have my deepest sympathies Sad I feel at absolute breaking point most days, and I'm lucky if the children get out for a walk during the week as there is zero time. The guilt I'm feeling is immense, mainly I feel like I'm failing as a parent, and then the quantity of work I'm producing too has considerably dropped. My eldest is year 1 and youngest is 3. Its hard and I'm not sure I can do this until the summer holidays!

SueEllenMishke · 15/05/2020 16:52

I hear ya!!
Very similar here although we just have the one 5 year old and we're both WFH. We've had to set a rota for the study......i feel like i spend half the day walking round the house with my laptop.

We're both busier than ever but not classed as key/critical workers. Ironically, I teach an MA and professional qualification. My students/graduates are classed as key workers but i'm not.

LST · 15/05/2020 16:54

I'm not homeschooling. I'm working ft from home a d my 6 & 8 year old are doing bits here and there. Have weekly calls with the teachers and they're fine with it. This time is stressful enough as it it

oblada · 15/05/2020 16:59

Maybe I'm saying that to make myself feel better but - why do you feel you have to homeschool? I have 3 kids (3, 5.5 and 8.5) and they do bits of learning here and there (well the oldest 2 do) but no formal learning or schedule. Like going on education city for a bit or completing a couple of maths sheets etc. Nothing else. They mostly get on with it and play the rest of the time. They're allowed 1 movie (Disney +) per day max (no other tv). The rest is free play as long as they don't trash the house. We monitor them loosely. Both myself and DH are busy at work and wft (both at home thankfully).

Love51 · 15/05/2020 17:03

Mine are 8 and 6. We are covering a lot of the same work, 'differentiation by outcome' teachers call it. Eg working on story writing. We choose a genre, I don't care what but they have to do the same. We do all the study over a week, then they write a story. Obviously they are writing at their own level but I taught them simultaneously. One class has sent lot of history work, the other nothing. They both get that lesson. Times tables - they do the same work on different questions. It's the only way to not exhaust yourself! I also outsourced teaching the small one to tell the time to the big one, but that's probably not recommended!

oblada · 15/05/2020 17:05

Oh yes mine are also on the same work if formal work there is! Like we did something about dinosaurs this week and they both did the same thing but with different results of course :)

Love51 · 15/05/2020 17:07

Is DH a keyworker? If not he needs to pull his weight, even if it impacts on his work. It shouldn't all be on you. If he is can they attend school?

Mrhodgeymaheg · 15/05/2020 17:12

I feel your pain. I am losing the plot too and my job is not that hectic, but it's the feeling of the quality of work being crap and the teaching being crap and having 1 year old to keep an eye on while I work which is sending me over the edge. I can't talk to my work as they will just make my life more difficult and make me take unpaid leave under the guise of worrying about my 'wellbeing'. I feel just utterly shit and low in confidence.

I hear that children of keyworkers aren't doing much school work in school anyway, so not sure why your DCs school are so lacking in understanding of what the WFH parents have to contend with. They can't fine you/send you to prison, so cut yourself some slack.

Horispondle · 15/05/2020 17:19

Completely agree, it's impossible. We have 3-5 new tasks added per day per child. Both working full time busier than ever. School chased me for not submitting 'evidence of learning' and could I encourage my 5yo to log in. He can barely write his name, there's no way he can work google classroom and work independently Angry
Twice I've reached out to say we are struggling with no response.

Love51 · 15/05/2020 17:19

A few people are moving school lessons to the weekend. Might be worth a try.
Also, schools vary (even classes in the same school vary) in expectations. Don't feel you have to cover everything. We are doing maths most days, English most days, history weekly, and science weekly. It's plenty.

Dorris83 · 15/05/2020 17:25

I could have written your post, I’m not coping very well with this. I find the learning element really stressful as my DS (7) seems to need help with every single bit. I’m also stressed about getting work done - I need to focus to get my work done and my son interrupts all the time. I don’t know the solution - he is having a great time, I’m struggling!!

myself2020 · 15/05/2020 18:32

Similar- i’m in a specialist position, there is nobody else who can do my work. Furlough is not an option. Throw a 7 year old with SENDs, a demanding 3 year old and a husband with aspergers in the mix, and i’m at my limit

Topsy44 · 15/05/2020 18:41

I really here you. We've not had a good week. I am a lone parent wfh with a v reluctant 8 year old. Today has been v difficult. Meltdown number one in the morning because I didn't have time to help with her doing something in the garden and she didn't want to do it on her own. I explained to her that I had to work at the moment as very very busy today but would help at lunchtime - huge strop. Meltdown number 2 after lunch when I asked if she could try her best to finish off a letter that she was writing for English that was supposed to be done on Tue, she only had about 2 lines to do. She burst into tears, I tried maths on her as she said she wanted to do that. She stared at the screen for 10 minutes and then burst into tears. I gave up after that because I had a tonne of work to do so said she could play out in the garden.

After all that, someone on the parents' WhatsApp group posted a picture of what can only be described as something that wouldn't have looked out of place on Bake Off that their child had produced all on their own with no help and it was to do with the topic they are on at school. Thankfully, I had just about enough spirit left in me (although dwindling by the day) to laugh at the post but it did quite take a lot to not just burst into tears!!!!

SoloMummy · 15/05/2020 19:23

@raindripsandroses
Could you get up and do a couple of hours of your work at 630-830? Then 4 hours teaching, then they lunch, play, garden, tv/screens etc, you then work until can before dinner?

Or, my preference, if they need 2 hours a day that is 10 hours a week. So though not ideal
Saturday 8-10 child 1,10-12 child 2, lunch, 1-3 child 1, 3-5 child 2
Sunday 8-10 child 2,10-12 child 1, lunch, 1-3 child 2, 3-5 child 1

Not ideal, but means you can get up m-f and work 630-830, have breakfast and then work 930-1230 lunch together, 130-330 then you're free and can then over the 5 days fit in the extra half an hour a day each child needs, having a better balance.

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