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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MIL and sending kids to school

72 replies

Idecide · 12/05/2020 22:06

We have 5dc. Youngest is in year 1. As soon as announcement was made last night I said 'no way is she going back' DP agreed, my parents (very involved with my dc, missing them desperately) agreed. Sorted.
DP mentioned it to MIL on the phone today and she is not happy. She thinks Boris knows best.
For context, she lives 300 miles away and has little contact with DC. Doesn't even send cards on birthdays etc.
She's since posted a FB status saying how disappointed she was with 'certain people' for mollycoddling their children and 'going against the law'.
AIBU to reply 'until my children can see my parents, who have been isolating for 8 weeks and who they desperately miss, they will not go to school and mix with people who haven't!'

OP posts:

AnotherEmma · 13/05/2020 07:49

YWBVU to reply.
Just ignore her. Unfriend or unfollow. You clearly don't like her. She's not actually involved in your lives. Leave her to her opinions.

mathanxiety · 13/05/2020 07:49

But don't post anything. Just mutter your response under your breath.

underneaththeash · 13/05/2020 07:51

But why would you not send them back OP?
There's not going to be a vaccine anytime soon and we just have to get used to the fact that life in the medium term has more inherent risk attached to it than it did before.

As another poster has put very well, your children have the right to be educated.

Sally872 · 13/05/2020 08:01

Ignore her, she is looking for a reaction so ignoring her will actually annoy her more. Just be glad she doesn't visit much.
But for the sake of dh I wouldn't fall out with her or make visiting awkward over it.

ZigZaggyZoo · 13/05/2020 08:06

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. She has no right to an opinion if she doesn't ordinarily bother with them. Don't start a falling out by responding.
She sounds quite irrelevant in terms of your children's lives, don't let this change it.

Ravenclawgirl · 13/05/2020 08:08

What has prompted your decision?

ludicrouslemons · 13/05/2020 08:18

I'm so much happier since I left Facebook. Life's too short for this crappy drama from someone you hardly see.

If she got off the phone and said she disapproved of what you were doing, it'd go nowhere. She does it on FB and dramadramadrama.

I share your scepticism about schools, this government cannot be trusted to act in the best interests of the people.

AJPTaylor · 13/05/2020 08:23

Justblock her. You won't have to read it.

MeganBacon · 13/05/2020 08:24

Your final statement ruined it for me. You're confusing the fact that it's a shame she hasn't seen her grandparents (it would be a good thing for everyone if that could happen) with the fact that she may be allowed to go back to school soon (if that happens, it would be a good thing). The one does not preclude the other. Let her do one good thing even if she can't do the other.

Straycatstrut · 13/05/2020 08:28

Mine are going back ASAP. That is the best thing for us all here, for the sake our our mental health, which is a greater risk that CV to them. I can't do this anymore. It's literally killing me.

If people keep their DC off and the DC are happy and in a loving environment, with a bit of education that shouldn't be a problem at all. Home educated kids can thrive.

Like a teacher has said on here, there won't be a huge amount of educating going on when kids go back, It'll mainly be about settling them in and going at a snails pace letting them readjust to normality again - which is totally right.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 13/05/2020 08:29

What MeganBacon said, although tbh it was ruined for me before your final statement. Such drama.

Ilovecats23 · 13/05/2020 08:29

It’s also not even the law, they’ve already announced that no one will be fined if they don’t send their children back if/when the schools open in June...

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 13/05/2020 08:36

I'm sending yr1 ds back , my decision. Some of his classmates mums feel differently, their decision and their business. They don't owe me an explanation but feel they need to give it anyway .....it feels like they are passively aggressively justifying their own decision in a way that they think the world ( their world being social media) is going to pat them on the back for being the best mums ever.
I think I'm supposed to feel like I'm sending my child into the jaws of death.
Why can't everyone just get on with their own lives instead of getting their extended family and facebook involved?

BlackberryCane · 13/05/2020 08:41

I'd reply or make one myself saying that until certain people know what the law actually is, they shouldn't be showing themselves up whining about other people not following it. But I'm petty like that.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 13/05/2020 08:46

OP if you are sharing your decisions with people you are inviting them to comment

ScrewBalls99 · 13/05/2020 08:49

OP I would block her on Facebook and continue with what is best for your family

BlackberryCane · 13/05/2020 08:50

Assuming you mean you in the plural as it was DP who did the sharing, that's true up to a point. But passive aggressive stupid statuses on Facebook go beyond that point.

pictish · 13/05/2020 08:55

Blocking your mil on Facebook over this would make you every bit as bad as her, if not worse. This block block block nonsense...such rude, needless drama.
Just ignore it...it’s all you have to do. You don’t have to make a big self important point by blocking her.

Roselilly36 · 13/05/2020 08:59

Ignore, ignore, ignore. You are their mum do what you think is best.

Greenpop21 · 13/05/2020 09:31

I know a scientist that is working on the testing at the moment and he is not sending his DC back, he feels it’s way too soon given the levels they are finding. I’m trusting him.

Wellhiyahun · 13/05/2020 09:36

In the 50 page press dossier it says about parents not being fined for not send it their kids back

DontStandSoCloseToMe · 13/05/2020 09:55

You've made a decision that you felt the need to make an announcement about, about something that MAY happen in 3 weeks time. Why are your parents involved in decisions about your children's education? It's all a bit melodramatic. They do say some men choose wives like their mothers...

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