To ask what lies do you tell your children?

[RevolutionofourTime]

I have always made up stuff for my kids. Recently I’ve been reflecting that when I was a kid, this was something my male relatives (dad, uncles, cousins) did.

DH comes from a different culture, and has no imagination, so I’ve taken on the role of maker-upper in the family. Who is in charge of the made up stuff in your household? I’m curious about the gender divide.

DCs are now 11 and 9 but I still manage to fool them, especially the 9 YO, and they both love it. It’s never mean.

Some of the things I’ve told them over the years, including recently:

• I have a degree from Magic School (this is very useful with smaller kids as you can then cure anything)
• I invented many fruits. Starting with the pineapple, then watermelon and eventually my masterpiece: the banana
• the tiny hatch in our bedroom ceiling (it’s for the electrics and ducting for the a/c) is the gateway to a secret living room that only DH and I use. It’s all decorated in pink with funky wallpaper and velvet sofas.
• WiFi is named after its inventor, William Fillian (borrowed that from Twitter)
• I also have a degree in Fire (bonfires, candles and such like)

What good lies have you told your kids? I’m not talking about the usual ice cream van bell stuff, but fun stuff that stimulates imagination and has ‘running gag’ potential.

Lockdown is boring! Let’s trick the kids 😁

Christ alive. I’m glad my family weren’t like some of you joyless beings who see childish imagination as ‘habitually filling kids’ heads with lies.’ 😆 your poor kids.

Well an adult in my family was like you winterwoolies. It didn’t fill me with magic or imagination, it made me feel stupid, humiliated and exploited for their enjoyment.

My children trust me and I value that. In a co fusing world they can rely on the fact that what I tell them is true.

Yeah I still don’t trust my parents and I’m in my forties.

@Winterwoollies exactly!

With proper, fantastical tall tales I hated not having been in on the joke once I realised. Even Santa. Other than parenting hacks like the seat belt thing that I think children naturally assimilate/can rationalise over time, I don't believe in doing this, it can set them up to feel foolish and people always "remind" you of it. It pisses me off.

That said, I'm sure I'll "do" Father Christmas for any DC- I just don't think I'll go for it in a big way so it's not a total shock eventually.

I tell them they're adopted.
I hope that such silliness continues down through the generations.

Waits for the thread in a few years time because your kids are as equally batshit as you are.

If you child asks whether they are crap at sport, or why they don't have many friends, are parents on here completely honest with them regardless of their age?

@foggybits I remember asking my mum once if I was good at singing - I was about 9 or 10. She gave a very diplomatic answer that included things like 'everyone has their own talents... you're better at X, Y, Z' 😆 I got what she was saying and it was a little hurtful at the time, but I got over it pretty quickly. But wow am I glad she didn't lie to me and tell me I was an amazing singer, and wait for me to show off to all of my friends/audition for solos/tell everyone I was going to be a famous singer, and then have a load of kids laugh at me behind my back and shoot me down. I had a friend who thought she was amazing at everything well into her teenage years because her parents lied to her, and god did we take the piss out of her behind her back.

There’s nothing wrong with making up stuff when the child is in on the game.
I told the dcs that how I know what they’re doing is because I have magical eyes at the back of my head.
Dc3 said ‘that’s what my teacher says!’ And I replied ‘yes, mums and teachers all have magical eyes in the back of their heads’

We look out for the gruffallo when we take a stroll in the deep dark woods.

We carry on with the tooth fairy and Father Christmas even though they know it’s not real.

My first thought when I read this thread was the film The Waterboy.

I can see it now.

Teacher: “Who knows anything about bananas?”
@RevolutionofourTime’s kid: “My momma has a degree in magic and says she invented bananas!”

Teacher: “How does WiFi work?”
@RevolutionofourTime’s kid: “My Momma says William Finnian invented it and she should know, she has a special secret room
behind the electrics panel and a degree in fire!”

And you’ll wonder why your kids get bullied at school

But was that diplomatic answer true? Lots of people are mediocre at everything.

And if your kid knows the truth about elf and the shelf etc do they tell their friends at school it's a lie & nonsense?

And you’ll wonder why your kids get bullied at school

Do people really think this is why kids get bullied? 🤦🏼‍♀️

Told the kids the ice cream van jingled when it had ran out.........I didn't think they believed it anymore but when ds was about 13 he piped up he could hear the ice cream van and asked if he could have one.

DD who was 15 or so at the time nudged him and said they've ran out you idiot, that's why you can hear it. She was deadly serious too, I had to break the news to her 😂😂😂

"You look lovely, darling"

I told my DS that I always knew when he was lying to me...

@foggybits yeah I think it was true. Her point was everyone is good at something... that could be being a good friend, being a good listener, being hardworking, being organised, being outgoing, being friendly. I've never met anyone who isn't good at anything!

We used to tell DD that before she tasted chocolate she didn't want to try it because it looked brown and boring but wasn't she glad she did try it as it was yummy. This then worked on her trying new vegetables/ fruit/ whatever food we wanted her to try. She would tell her friends that story for years. This is harmless in my eyes.

What's not harmless is the story a mum at school told her children (and gleefully relayed to us all) that she would tell her DC that the formidable college building in town was the home for naughty kids and if they were playing up she'd drive there and they would scream noooo from the back seat.

My uncle used to pretend he couldn't pronounce our names until after 6pm. We would spend hours thinking up ways to trick him to say our real names but he never did slip up. He lived a long way away and only visited for a week once a year at most. We remember him most fondly as a fun uncle and it was harmless.

My kids currently believe their Alexa isn’t working because she is self isolating.

@bluemoon2468 I think most people are average but then I don't think being outgoing is a skill like being good at maths, each to their own.

If my 5 yo asked if they were crap at sport, I wouldn't say yes but good at X, Y, Z as personally I think they are too young & still developing & how much would that belief become self perpetuating. However I wouldn't tell them that everything they do is amazing either.

My uncle used to pretend he couldn't pronounce our names until after 6pm.

That’s a good one! I also pretended there was one word I couldn’t pronounce properly, kids tried to get me to say it for months. Sadly I slipped eventually...

My mum told me a number of lies because she had no money. Like the van has no ice cream, you're allergic to chocolate, you’re too tall to go to dance class, your fingers are too long to have music lessons, you’re too fair skinned to go on holiday abroad, you can’t join the sports club because you have weak lungs, etc. I believed all of these things right through primary school. I still remember the teacher pulling her in for a chat about these mysterious allergies and disabilities that prevented me joining in with school activities. My mum didn’t know I was refusing to do PE or even accept a sweet from a friend. She should have just told me we had no money.

No harm in saying if you don't eat carrots you will grow blind, or the car won't drive unless seat belts are on

...or you could just do your job as a parent and tell you children that they must wear a seat belt in the car because it's dangerous not to and that eating vegetables helps to make you healthy and strong? Otherwise known as "the truth". Are you scared your children won't like you if you impose some rules? Do you have to make up another "bad guy" to take the blame, or something?

As for those of you who tell "tall tales" in order to have a laugh at the expense of small children who trust you and rely on you for information about the world... That's just really shit.

@foggybits
I think it's fine to lie to kids in terms of telling them they're good at something/their art work is gorgeous, the song they just made up is nice, the dance they've just performed for you is fantastic. Boosting someone's confidence isn't really a lie/trick like the OP was talking about.

I don't think anyone is saying brutal honesty is how you should treat young children.
Some of us are saying, however, that we'd probably avoid making up some sort of weird and/or scary story or trick about it.

Child: mummy did you like my song?
Mum: oh darling don't you know that if you keep singing songs, the music goblin will creep up to you next time it rains and steal your soul?? So it's best if you don't sing.
Child:
Mum: oh and sweetheart don't forget that you aren't supposed to make up songs, because actually Mariah Carey invented every song ever written and if you invent a song without her permission, she'll lock you up in the garden shed and you'll never see your family again. Ok?
Child:

Feel free to use those ones by the way OP, they're up for grabs

@harper30 lots of people on the thread said they never lie to their kids, hence my question.

There are some instances I will lie to my children or omit the truth, but never for convenience or to amuse myself.

I haven't told DD every gory detail of the Coronavirus crisis, for example. Not really the same as telling her a monster will eat her if she doesn't shower, or that I invented plastic or whatever.