Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what lies do you tell your children?

121 replies

RevolutionofourTime · 12/05/2020 17:23

I have always made up stuff for my kids. Recently I’ve been reflecting that when I was a kid, this was something my male relatives (dad, uncles, cousins) did.

DH comes from a different culture, and has no imagination, so I’ve taken on the role of maker-upper in the family. Who is in charge of the made up stuff in your household? I’m curious about the gender divide.

DCs are now 11 and 9 but I still manage to fool them, especially the 9 YO, and they both love it. It’s never mean.

Some of the things I’ve told them over the years, including recently:

  • I have a degree from Magic School (this is very useful with smaller kids as you can then cure anything)
  • I invented many fruits. Starting with the pineapple, then watermelon and eventually my masterpiece: the banana
  • the tiny hatch in our bedroom ceiling (it’s for the electrics and ducting for the a/c) is the gateway to a secret living room that only DH and I use. It’s all decorated in pink with funky wallpaper and velvet sofas.
  • WiFi is named after its inventor, William Fillian (borrowed that from Twitter)
  • I also have a degree in Fire (bonfires, candles and such like)

What good lies have you told your kids? I’m not talking about the usual ice cream van bell stuff, but fun stuff that stimulates imagination and has ‘running gag’ potential.

Lockdown is boring! Let’s trick the kids 😁

OP posts:
ConnieDoodle · 13/05/2020 07:14

It would be fun for her because a) the reveal, when I finally realise its not true and HAHA you believed it, weren't you sweet as a little girl, you used to believe pylons had fizzy drinks HAHA and b) my mother gets to feel oh so imaginative and creative and isn't she making my childhood all magical.

You summed up my thoughts. It's like a parent power trip.

harper30 · 13/05/2020 07:19

I agree with PPs, making things up to play games together, like imagining fairies live in the garden and making things for them etc is lovely.
I guess the lying about his you gotta a scar is relatively harmless too?
But making up monsters to scare them into doing chores, or the weird thing about the storm in a bottle of bubbles?? It's weird and unnecessary and if you do that stuff all the time, surely as they grow up your kids are going to question the truth of what you tell them/start to think you're sad for making up so much stuff.
The distinction between real/not real, and what's a game and what isn't is still important even for small children and if your only motivation is to 'trick them' because you're bored, and it's only fun for you, I think you need to have a re-think.

harper30 · 13/05/2020 07:23

Also, one of the results of all this is you'll make your kids feel like idiots at some point: they are, at some time, going to swear blind that one of your lies is true. Either to their friends, or their class at school. They're going to defend your stupid lie to the hilt because they'll believe it, and be made to feel ridiculous when confronted with the truth eg the wifi thing.

understandmenow · 13/05/2020 07:26

I love that one @Slightlyunhinged, my DH has a deep round scar on his back, result of a huge boil that took a long time and hospital treatment to heal, he obviously told the children that it was as a result of being shot 🙄!

Some serious fun sponges on this thread!

Jeleste · 13/05/2020 07:26

With magical stories we like to make them up together (me and the kids) and they know its just fantasy.
I do lie to them though. Just recently i told DC i can always tell when he lies, because as his mother i am always connected to him. He tested it a few times and he was so obvious about it that i called him out every time. Then he believed me.

moveandmove · 13/05/2020 07:27

I find that a bit weird tbh. What if the teacher asked your children's class who knew what wi-Fi stands for and your child put their hand up and said William Filliam. How embarrassing for the child.

When do you tell them the truth? Confused

HforHavana · 13/05/2020 07:39

I remember my Dad telling me some of these lies/made up stories as a kid.
He told me that dinosaurs chased him through the woods, and that's how he ended up with the scar on his chest.
Also convinced us he could take his arm off. As soon as he asked us to go and get him a towel as 'there would be lots of blood' we would squirm out and immediately reject his offer.

As an adult, we look back and laugh at these times in our childhood. It was all very light hearted and hasn't done me any harm whatsoever as an adult.

I haven't grown up thinking my dad is some sort of liar, infact, he is quite the opposite and one of the most straight talking people I know, and respect him immensely for it.

MissAnanke · 13/05/2020 07:43

the tiny hatch in our bedroom ceiling (it’s for the electrics and ducting for the a/c) is the gateway to a secret living room that only DH and I use. It’s all decorated in pink with funky wallpaper and velvet sofas

My DC would be climbing on whatever he could find to get in that hatch the minute my back was turned.

redwoodmazza · 13/05/2020 07:44

Our son [who will be 28 this year!] was far too logical for me to ever fool him.
He didn't believe in fairies - 'where are their houses?'
As for Father Christmas.. he said 'it's you really, isn't it? That's why you get me to write a list of what I want...'

Hey ho...

nysnet · 13/05/2020 07:55

So, none of you believed in Santa Claus growing up? I did and I loved it. I loved imagining what the North Pole would be like and I loved thinking that santa and his reindeers ate the food we left out for them. My kids love it to. They also love their elf on the shelf and believe it comes to life at night and goes back to the North Pole. We aren't religious so to us Christmas is a magical time where we get to decorate the house, play Christmas music, be with family and have fun. If you don't want that with your kids that's fine but it doesn't make it wrong.

myself2020 · 13/05/2020 08:00

Never in a way that they wouldn’t know its made up.
I remember an uncle telling me these sorts of “funny made up things” without making clear we were pretending. still very much dislike him for that, and never trusted him after i realised.

myself2020 · 13/05/2020 08:01

(no, we don’t do Father christmas etc either - christmas is still magical, without all the stress i see others go through)

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 13/05/2020 08:03

@HforHavana

As soon as he asked us to go and get him a towel as 'there would be lots of blood' we would squirm out and immediately reject his offer

It sounds more like you knew that it wasnt true and so played along. Your dad saying repeatedly "are you SURE you want me to take my arm off? Really really sure? There will be a lot of blood" was him clearly signalling to you that you needed to back down and not call his bluff.

I think there's a lot of this playing along that kids do - they are doing it because they know it makes their parents happy, even if they don't know why. The parents are convinced the kid loves it, but actually it's all about the parents feeling good, and the child trying to please them.

myself2020 · 13/05/2020 08:04

@harper30 exactly. and at that point they will realise they can’t trust you (speaking from experience here - 30 years on i still hate my uncle, and he’s been dead 15 years)

ConnieDoodle · 13/05/2020 08:05

I can see this is going to end up as a thread with loads of people saying WHAT ABOUT SANTA!

That’s nit what people were saying at all.

lovepickledlimes · 13/05/2020 08:10

Don't have kids myself but one my dad told me and I would 100% tell my kids until it is just a habit and second nature to them is that the car engine does not start till all seat belts are on.

My mum also lied to me about not speaking anything other then mandarin. Took me until I was 5 for me to ask if she only spoke in mandarin how does she talk to everyone else 😂

NotAgainNo · 13/05/2020 08:15

It's one thing to jokingly lie/trick them and immediately (or within a few minutes) tell them you're joking. It can be a fun experience to guess what's true and what isn't. It's another thing to lie to them and let them live their lives believing it's true. It's not "magical", it's deception. There are many other ways to create magic with children.

Original poster
RevolutionofourTime · 13/05/2020 08:19

Wow, I know this is AIBU but I wasn’t expecting that. Never mind, this was supposed to be lighthearted.

Thank you to those who contributed. I like the storm in bubble mixture idea! I may recycle that...

@ConnieDoodle, aren’t you a peach.

OP posts:
CallistoSol · 13/05/2020 08:21

Why on earth make up rubbish to tell your poor gullible children when the world is packed full of actual real life wonders?

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 13/05/2020 08:25

Never mind, this was supposed to be lighthearted

Yeah, you don't actually get to police that, I'm afraid Grin

Saying "it was supposed to be lighthearted" is like saying "I was only joking, don't be so sensitive" when you've annoyed/upset someone in real life.

Topseyt · 13/05/2020 08:32

OP, AIBU doesn't do light-hearted. You have to be deadly serious about this sort of thing all the time or your children will be psychologically damaged and scarred for life.

My Dad always made up ridiculous stories. We weren't scarred by it. We knew he was winding us up and encouraged him to continue. Same with my children. They are well rounded adults now and it is all a family joke.

LikeDuhWhatever · 13/05/2020 08:35

I imagine this is how dumb ideologies and false believes started thousands of years ago. An elderly member of the tribe started telling stories to kids around the campfire to shut them up.
You know children, the world was shitted by a giant turtle and we all live on this giant turtle’s shell now and when the turtle moves we have volcano eruptions and tsunamis. When the turtle cries, we have rain blablabla...you get my drift.

lovepickledlimes · 13/05/2020 08:36

I think in the end it depends on the lie and why you lie. No harm in saying if you don't eat carrots you will grow blind, or the car won't drive unless seat belts are on, or lie about not speaking the language in the country you life in to trick young toddlers and children into doing what is right

Telling them you are going to the zoo every time you go out without them or lies that upset them only for your entertainment is crule

EarringsandLipstick · 13/05/2020 08:38

Revolution I'm with Connie

I think your suggestions range from inane to stupid (there's a cool room in the hatch! What kid won't try to get in there?!). I also think it's a really unkind premise.

There's a huge leap from encouraging imaginative play & games, where kids are in on it & sharing in the agency around it and trying to get one over on them as an adult.

I'm with the PP who mentioned her uncle - I had relatives like this and as a shy, self-conscious child, I really hated being made to feel silly or vaguely feeling I was being tricked but not sure why / how.

Re: Santa, that is different, as broadly, it's a shared societal norm (I know not for everyone and that's fine too), where most children experience the same, not WiFi is William Filliam 🙄

I should probably say I didn't ever really tell my kids the white lies either - TV is broken, that kind of thing. I just preferred to tell them the truth. Not saying that's better, it was just me & I didn't feel comfortable with the white lie approach.

WindsorBlues · 13/05/2020 08:39

Some of my favourite childhood memories are of sitting round the kitchen table with my cousins asking my dad to tell us our favourite stories of his, he also was a shark wrestler, spotted a UFOs and won a beauty contest Grin

Even now we're all in our 30s when we get together my cousins always get him to tell there favourites, to their kids. Dad really had the gift of storytelling.

However my cousins dad was mean with his story telling. It was usually about some slight he'd believed we'd done against him and how we would be in serious trouble as he'd reported us to the police or the school and they where on there way to take us away, it could go on for days if we where staying with them. I remember he put my brother in the car and drove him around once pretending he was taking him to the teachers house to stay for the weekend as he was too bad to stay his house with the rest of us, my brother was only about 6.
Noone really bothers with the uncle now we're older.

Swipe left for the next trending thread