Haven't brushed my son's teeth in a week and am struggling!

[ShambalaHambala]

AIBU to literally hold him down and force him to brush his teeth? He is 18 months old, doesn't eat much sugar but still has fruit and the occasional treat. Regardless, I needs to brush his teeth. It's been a week since I've brushed then properly and haven't been able to because he screams and clamps down on the toothbrush. I've tried getting him to brush his own teeth whilst I do mine then brush his properly after, different toothpastes in case it was the taste, different toothbrushes. This aversion to teeth brushing has been on and off since he was about 1. Can anyone advise?

Have you tried oranurse foam free unflavoured toothpaste.
(I know you said you tried different toothpaste but a lot are flavoured)

YANBU Wrap him in a towel and hold him down. Don't miss a day because he kicks off, it just teaches him that kicking off works, he'll get used to it. Obviously keep trying with the singing songs, nice toothbrush, doing yours too etc but teeth brushing is non negotiatable.

Teeth brushing is non-negotiable. Wrap him in a big towel to keep his arms and hands down, pin him between your knees and just do it. I had a phase of doing it with both my two. When they opened their mouths to scream, it gives tooth access. Sorry if this sounds harsh. Both my DC eventually realised it was just easier to brush their teeth themselves and/or let me do it calmly.

Holding him down to brush his teeth is preferable to holding him down for them to give him a GA to extract his teeth!
Definitely hold him down. FWIW I held DS down twice a day for teeth at that age and he’s fine with toothbrushing now at 7.

I turned it into a game, said here comes the tickle monster and "tickled" my little ones teeth. She'd be laughing while I "tickled" her teeth getting them a good scrub

he screams and clamps down on the toothbrush.

Surely he’s not doing both at the same time? Babies and toddlers generally scream with their mouths wide open - it’s mean to say it, but when my DS screams it’s the easiest for tooth brushing, it’s the only time I can actually see all his teeth properly.

Agree with PP - it's a non-negotiable. I used to have ds in a headlock most days, with him yelling 'Help! I stuck!'. Fuck knows what my neighbour thought I was doing to him. Have you tried the Elmo video, or a buzzy toothbrush?

Yes, hold him down. It's what I do with my 2yo. I give him the chance to do his own and we watch the Hey Duggee toothbrushing song etc but if he won't do it, he gets pinned between my knees and I do it. Non-negotiable.

Hold him down and get on with it. Teeth brushing is non negotiable in my house.

Yup, both of mine had the full towel experience around 18 months. It was heartbreaking but I just kept muttering to myself "it's better than tooth decay" until it was done. I knew a woman who refused to enforce teeth brushing and her son had to have loads of teeth removed when he was about 3. They were literally black and rotten but she was so afraid of hurting his feelings by forcing him to brush. She was pretty in denial about it though tbh, was convinced it was genetic and the dentist was just out to "shame" her. Anyway, by 2 it had mostly passed for my eldest who is now 3 and very good about tooth brushing. My youngest is still just 18 months but I'm sure it'll pass for her as well.

I also used the towel technique when my dd was younger. My parenting is generally pretty lax, but teeth brushing was (is) non-negotiable.

God this takes me back..... Yep, DD1 now all grown up but my goodness teethbrushing was a battle. Awful. Yes. Towel and get on with it. Always the last thing you need just before bed when it would be nice to be all snuggly but absolutely unegotiable. You're doing the right thing. Keep going.

If memory serves, we had to hold ours down. But it definitely happened, teeth brushing is non-negotiable. At some point they realised this.

Hold him in a towel on your lap and brush sing as you do it, make it a game.

My DD was like this. There is a song on YouTube called the Elmo toothbrushing song. I used to play that to her on my phone while we were in the bathroom.

I did the headlock thing too, but it got the point that I just didn't want to do it anymore. It was phsyically too hard for me and distressing for both of us. Elmo song, lots of praise and encouragement and eventually we got there. Oh I nearly forgot we also had a book. It was such a great help. It was all about how we have to brush our teeth to stop the sugar bugs and all I had to say was "I think I can see sugar bugs on your teeth" and she'd run to the bathroom. I will try and find out the name of the book and post back...

Yeh sorry, DD is 18 months and it's a lie on the floor and hold down job. She had got used to it now, accepts it and opens her mouth. Took some unpleasant consistency to get there though

Ex is an oral surgeon, has to take 4 year olds teeth out under anaesthetic. Parent in tears with them as it happens. Far far worse than teeth brushing clamped down.

have you tried a brush baby chewable toothbrush? my dc was quite happy to chew on this even when he wouldn't let me brush his teeth with a normal brush. then once he is happy with that could try and reintroduce the normal brush - just doing a very quick brush once a day to start even if you aren't getting all around his mouth (while still using the chewable one as well so you know he is at least having some effective cleaning)

There’s a tooth brushing Hey Duggee song, worth a try maybe? There’s also a tooth brushing game on the Sarah & Duck app where you brush the character’s teeth.

Yep towel technique here too until Dd was old enough for a sticker chart. I’m a very lax parent in many ways, but teeth brushing has always been non-negotiable.

My DD didn't like having her teeth brushed either. I used to strap her in her highchair and put the "Brush brush brush your teeth" video by cocomelon to distract her and just about managed to brush her teeth. She loves brushing her teeth now and spitting out the toothpaste when prompted seems to be the highlight of her day.

Have you tried different flavours of toothpaste my dc liked strawberry (tesco) at that age. The mint adds nothing to the cleaning of the teeth it's just a flavour.

I think I got it on mumsnet but I used to tell them they had baby animals in their teeth. Oh look there's three baby zebras at the back let's set them free. Sounds ridiculous but it really worked.

We used to have to hold our daughter, one held while the other brushed.
The Hey Duggee tooth brushing badge episode helped

We had this too! He is fine with it now at 2.4 - here are some things we found worked:

Get him into the Hey Duggee tooth brushing song and play/sing it each time you brush. Good distraction at least.

Make sure he sees you brush your teeth too - and get him to help brush yours.

Give him the toothbrush and ask him to do it himself. Mine would just suck all the toothpaste or chew on it, but then i would say ‘mummy’s tur now’ and I would then take over. He hated it at first but now he’s so used to it he does it himself (badly) then says mummy your turn and I take over. He doesn’t know any differently.

Good luck!

YouTube the blippi toothbrush song too