“He absolutely loves his big boy car seat!”

[Noti23]

...combined with picture showing a cute, smiley, barely of sitting age baby, in a toddler seat. ABUI to HATE seeing this all the time? A car seat is not a developmental milestone or achievement, safety should be priority. It makes me so sad that so many people seem to do this.

The latest Instagram post features a 6 month old baby sitting in his new “big boy” forward facing car seat.

YANBU op,

My girl's in one that I bought about 6 months ago. It's rear facing but can be forward faced if desired when older, and does from 6 months to 4 years old (based on weight) I got it in Smyths for 70 quid and it has a great safety rating.

Obviously it's different if people are very hard up, but there are plenty of people who spend close to £1000 on a travel system or whatever but buy a cheap car seat -- it's more that kind of thing that I think people on this thread are talking about, not when someone is genuinely finding it hard to afford something.

My cousin bought a £220 Maxi-Cosi FF seat plus isofix fitting and her travel system cost £800, but she went on and on for years about our Sirona costing £290, and how ridiculously expensive it was, and how our DD would be "delayed" by not sitting forward. In those kinds of cases honestly it's not about money but about someone's preconceived ideas about something!

My 12 year old was rearfacing until he was 3 so it’s not a new idea!

And no, I don’t understand people who seem to think that putting their baby forward facing shows they are somehow more advanced?! And a rearfacing seat is no more expensive than a decent forwards facing seat.

The RF facing car seats have been available for a long time. My now 21 Yr ols was a heavy baby and too big for the infant carrier at seven month (infant carriers were much smaller then). We got a large klippan rear facing seat that could be turned round from about four years and then be used for a few more years. From what I remember it was easy enough to find even in 2000.

Yeah drama we're nothing but a bunch of silly women. Couldn’t possibly be that some uf us are actual road safety experts or anything, what with us being brainless mummies and all.

@Dramallama19

We didn't have seatbelts when I was growing up. Dies that mean I should let my DS16 ride around without putting his on?

YANBU
And I can't stand it when people use 'they loved it' as a reason for whatever silly thing they're doing.
"My 12 week old loves rusks"
"My 6 year old loves watching hunger games"
Eugh, my children would love to eat biscuits for dinner and go to bed at midnight but it doesn't mean I'm going to let them!

My very leggy 4 year old (I'm 5'7" ish and her dad is over 6', it was inevitable ) loves rear facing. She crosses her legs, hangs them over the sides (in a fashion our grandparents would probably call 'unladylike') or rests them up on the actual car seat. Her dad and my parents (I don't drive) have car seat protectors to stop it getting grubby if she's wearing shoes.
We have the joie stages and it was around £100, borrowed the money from my parents as I couldn't afford it. It's also a lot less distracting, if she drops something it goes on her lap or between her legs rather than the floor so no asking for us to stop and pick up a teddy. We've already had it for years and it'll go right up, so it's worth the cost. Not to be judgemental but you can't ever put a price on your child's life. There are some things that aren't worth skimping on

I agree @Dutchesss - I have friends who are seemingly desperate for their children to get onto the ‘next stage’ and do all sorts of things well beyond the recommended guidelines - in own room at 2 weeks, in a bumbo at 2 months when they can barely hold their own head up, weaning at 4 months, in a front facing car seat at under a year old. Constantly letting them sip out of their beer/wine glass ‘Hahahaha look how grown up they are’.

All accompanied by lashings of “people are really judgy but you’ve just got to do what’s right for your own child” etc. I just don’t understand it - why not let your baby be a baby?

I’d have to say something. I HATE this.

My dd is getting ready to ff. we’re researching seats. she’ll be 4 in September.

I'm shocked pp have said no-one they know rear faces, I don't know anyone that doesn't but as an older first time mum my friends are probably more the "Mumsnet demographic"!

We have the Joie 360 which is newborn to 18kg so saved money as we didn't need a separate baby carrier.

I had no idea extended rear facing was a thing... I had car sickness by age 3. Rear facing would've had me throwing up all over my parents' car 😂

People who forward face their DC before age 3 (except in cases of severe travel sickness or similar) are fucking eejits.

Havelock

You go judge your own risks and I will judge mine. My 2 year old was mainly FF from around age 2. Because he prefers it, he gets moderately car sick, we drive infrequently and on roads at low speed. His seat can face both rear and forward, but when RF the passenger in front of him has to push their seat uncomfortably far forward, and since his baby sister was born we prioritise putting her RF behind the driver as she is younger and smaller.

In our circumstances, a rear facing car seat reduces an already low risk and we happy to accept that risk.

My almost 5 year old is still rear facing in the car seat she had just after her Baby carrier (albeit removing many inserts along the way). Until she outgrows it that’s where she’ll stay. She doesn’t really know any different.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland Because he prefers it, he gets moderately car sick, we drive infrequently and on roads at low speed.

1. How can he prefer something that he would never have tried before if you hadn't if let him?
2. Driving infrequently does not lower the risk of an accident
3. People can still die at 30mph impacts!

If the forward facing seats are really that bad why are they sold?

Genuinely don't get the froth about it.

FWIW you can't get rear facing seats in our car as the car is too small. Again, by your logic small cars should not be sold either..?!

*rear facing toddler seats

Baby ones are fine obvs

@PippaPegg If the forward facing seats are really that bad why are they sold?

Same way cot bumpers are sold
Same way cigarettes are sold

Just because things are sold does not make them safe at all!

@GrimmsFairytales damn right!!! Please set them straight OP!

FWIW you can't get rear facing seats in our car as the car is too small. Again, by your logic small cars should not be sold either..?!

I had a car that did not fit a car seat, it was a 2 seater sports car. Of course I don't think they should not be sold. I sold it after I needed a car to fit a car seat in.

For those asking about extended rear facing seats then this is a list of up to 25kg carseats currently available. There are also many others which rear face to 18kg if your child is predicted to be of small to average size. The facebook page carseat advice uk is a great resource as well.

It's also worth bearing in mind that many of the cheap generic carseats such as nania, team tex, obaby, babystart etc are only tested to the minimum and in more rigourous testing literally rip apart.
Joie do some reasonably priced seats such as the tilt, steadi and stages which also rear face to 18kg.

How we're going to explain that to him when he's older I don't know, I'd like to say it's because they don't care/understand basic safety but small children are prone to repeating things verbatim...

It's absolutely astounding that anyone thinks this is a conversation they might need to have with their 3-4 year old.

You cannot compare a forward facing seat to a cot bumper. Totally stupid thing to say.

I think it is often about affordability. I’ve just bought a RF stage 1 car seat for my son (which he’ll definitely grow out of by 3 years old) but I could have got a FF stage 1-3 one that would do him up until he’s 12 for less money.

I went with the RF one because I can afford to buy him a new one in two years time or less (or at least I hope I will be able to) but plenty of people aren’t in that position.

People really do like to work themselves into a self-righteous froth over this, but ultimately we all assess risk differently.