“He absolutely loves his big boy car seat!”

[Noti23]

...combined with picture showing a cute, smiley, barely of sitting age baby, in a toddler seat. ABUI to HATE seeing this all the time? A car seat is not a developmental milestone or achievement, safety should be priority. It makes me so sad that so many people seem to do this.

The latest Instagram post features a 6 month old baby sitting in his new “big boy” forward facing car seat.

DS is 17 months and we will RF until at least 4, he has a cousin a few weeks younger than him who has been forward facing since he got to the upper end of his size 0 seat. How we're going to explain that to him when he's older I don't know, I'd like to say it's because they don't care/understand basic safety but small children are prone to repeating things verbatim...

Infuriates me too, a quick google on car seat safety and rear facing car seats brings up lots of options. Sadly you can’t trust high street retailers (halford/mothercare) but the fact that the latter still sells cot bumpers should already tell you that! If you can’t afford to have your child safely secured in your car then I think you should walk. I will never regret the money I have spent on an axkid mini for my car and one for our in-laws car. I’d go without pretty much everything else to ensure his safety. Anyone got a good line ready for when you see this?

@ForeverBubblegum, I'll look into it, thanks!

My issue is though, whilst no one wants to put their child at risk, I think the fact that extended forward facing seats aren't financially available to all makes this thread (and some of the judgments) a bit mean spirited. Obviously, putting tiny children on highly inappropriate seats is not OK, or legal, but many parents may not have the luxury of choice between a £30 front-facer or a £100+ one that is ultimately safer for the crash they may never have.

I rear faced DS1 until he was 3 but DS2 turned when he turned 2, he got so extremely travel sick that it was better to turn it the other way around. So I don’t think all parents who forward face are eejits

Sharing photographs and milestones on social media of people who are not old enough to consent and will likely never know how far their face has been shared and over shared would be my first problem with this.

Despite it being safer, people aren't aware of it

Actually, the evidence on this has recently (Nov 2018) been reexamined and not found to be quite as compelling as previously thought.

The '5 x safer' maxim is no longer appropriate, given the evidence we currently have.

The study did conclude that the new evidence isn't compelling enough to recommend FF either, so prob best to stick to RF, but it's pretty patronising to suggest that the only reason people FF is because they are ill-informed.

There are so many different types of collision, and there are (fortunately) so few infant deaths in car accidents that the evidence is not as clear as we previously thought.

For example, our car seat (2 Way Pearl) was actually found to be safer in the FF position than RF in the event of a side collision.

I also take into consideration the fact that the best possible outcome is no crash at all, so the fewer distractions DH and I have while driving (like screaming child uncomfortable in RF seat for example) the less likely we are to have an accident in the first place.

Yep, I knew a prem baby who was FF in a gimmicky car seat despite the fact he couldn't sit unaided.

That said, my eldest FF from 15 months because I couldn't get her into the only available ERF seat that could be strapped in. Was a few years ago now though, so I imagine the selection has improved for non isofix cars.

Also, I hear all the time about using booster seats from 5. We had to move to a booster from 3.5 because of the weight limits. I figured they were safer in a booster than in a car seat that's straps hadn't been tested to their weight. But I felt bad. There is a bit of an obsession around car seat safety in the same way as natural birth and breastfeeding. The reality is sometimes you have to make a decision on the lesser of two evils.

Although I'm not sure that's at play with the 9 month old in the FF seat. There are loads of choices at that stage, even if they'd outgrown their baby carrier seat.

As a city dweller, this thread is fascinating. We have a rear facing car seat, but I think we've only used it about 8 times because 1 year old DS is so rarely in a car. Never even occurred to me that carseats might be a milestone...

My DD came out of the infant seat at just shy of 8 months and was FF, I hated it but we were told by her orthopedic consultant she needed to be FF due to a problem with her legs.

She's nearly 6 now and I've only recently reluctantly put her in a HBB, she still had room in her group 1 seat but school said she needed a HBB for school trips they wouldn't take the Group 1 seats as they have 60 in her year so could potentially end up fitting 60 different seats to the bus plus ExH has her in a HBB and has done she was 3 so it was getting harder to explain why ExH let her in the "big girls seat" when I didn't.

@MouthBreathingRage they can be prohibitively expensive, why spend £300 (I know you can find some cheaper) when you can pick up a FF sear for under £40 on Emma's Diary. They're probably a bit

I do agree with PP'd not being aware of RF seats, it doesn't help that places like mothercare (in my experience) push FF seats even when you've specifically said you're only interested in RF. I also have found that it's rare to come across anyone in real life that forward faces, except for a few people from NCT, most people I know FF their toddlers.

Sorry, .,,they're probably a bit uncommon now but hopefully will become more affordable as they become more popular.

we don’t have a car and I find it really stressful because on the times we do occasionally need to use one (taxis, or staying with friends) there is never a rear facing option. All the travel car seats you can buy are forward facing. If anyone knows of a travel rear facing one please let me know!

The rear facing seat my DD was in until 2.5 cost less than £100 6 years ago- Joie Stages. She's still using it in HBB mode at 7yo. She was FF with harness until 5yo. She will swap to her sisters bigger HBB soon though (when she next uses the car, but who knows when that will be at the moment? She hasn't been in the car in about 2 months now).

It shouldn't be seen as a developmental milestone. A SM one maybe... But it's not a milestone like walking or teething.

Yes yes yes!!!!! The arguments that I have had with my parents and my MIL regarding car seats is horrendous.
They've said they will not be rear facing him from the age of 1 so they will not be having him. Simple as really!!
I hate it!

@MouthBreathingRage try the Joie Steadi- it’s about £100, erf and has really good reviews.

@Curiosity101 It was definitely a forward facing one. It’s was one of those cheap Nania ones. The baby was so small in it I could see the logo at the top 🙄.

My youngest is 13. I had no idea RF past 9 months was even a thing now! I don't think there was an option other than FF once they outgrew the carry seat.

I'll probably be a grandparent before too long so I guess these things are useful to know.

I'd hate to see the reaction to the seats my now 27 yr old had as a baby. With hindsight they were probably fit for nothing (despite being quite expensive at the time). Still beats the carrycot untethered on the backseat of my childhood though.

@MouthBreathingRage I see where your coming from, but honestly I think rear facing is preserved to be more expensive than it is. And this common misconception is more of a barrier than the actual cost is.

For instance the joie tilt I mentioned up thread can be picked up for £50, and lasts from birth to 3 for most children. If you want to FF you would need to buy an infant seat, then a ff seat. Even the cheapest would be £30 each so you would be actually be spending more on the less safe option.

I think many people see some expensive options and write off the whole idea.

@Noti23 In that case -

Look at all the perfect mums on here, why don't you just mind your business and worry about you own kids? So many people want to tell other mums how right they are, when I was child we didn't even have car seats 🙄
So may threads like this, it's boring now! Obv not getting enough attention at home ladies!

Have you considered not opening boring threads, Dramallama? It's easy really when the title gives a clear idea what this thread might be about.

Perhaps respond privately to your friend saying your are worried rather than posting on her page under the post. That way you raise your concern and she can look into it, but it's ultimately up to her.

Unfortunately for a lot of people the choice to RF or FF comes down to cost.

YANBU, I hate to see it.

I can understand why you would go ff if you are a family on a budget and don’t have a car so the seat is rarely used and needs to be easy to fit in different cars etc
However when it is people I know who are able to splash the cash on a fancy travel system, cots, clothes or whatever but will only spend £30 on a shit car seat I do judge them them for that.