Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want privacy in my garden

66 replies

Footywife · 11/05/2020 16:48

We live in a terraced house....all houses have front gardens. We have nightmare neighbours both sides unfortunately and we're currently involved with the Police/Local Authority to try and get them to take some action due to ongoing antisocial behaviour (drugs/violence/noise/drug dealing). We own, they rent. The rest of the street is lovely, but these two cockroaches have ganged up together to make peoples lives hell.

Anyway....I digress.

The problem we have is that the fences around the gardens are only around 3ft high which means we get no privacy when they are shouting across to each other, encouraging their children to throw balls, etc. One of the children sits and stares at us if we sit in the garden.

We're in the process of putting in a hedge down at the side between neighbour 1 (the plants are being delivered tomorrow). We really want to have a wall built down the other side and to the front (which will be a little higher than the current fence and will be attached to our over door canopy at one side so it gives us more privacy as we step directly out of the door. This will mean psychotic neighbour number two can't keep reaching over the fence and hammering on our window. We just can't afford to get the wall done at the moment.

Can anyone suggest anything we might be able to fix to the existing fence to make it that little bit higher - and which won't look an eyesore with it being on the front? I did consider bamboo screening, but not sure whether it might be too flimsy.

OP posts:
Fleurchamp · 11/05/2020 18:39

We live in a terraced house on a hill so our garden is "above" our neighbours so when we come out of our back door we can see down into their garden (then we have a few steps into the garden so no longer overlooking). We have new neighbours and although I thought we got on but whenever they are in the garden they shove a sun umbrella up against the fence, angled to make a barrier. DH thinks it is because the kids have a habit of disturbing them (they say hello when they go out into the garden) I feel really bad about it Confused

QueSera · 11/05/2020 18:42

Put a 6 foot fence up next to the 3 foot fence. It will all be on your land so perfectly legal.

If you check that a 6-foot fence is ok/legal in your circumstances, I would definitely do this. You'll lose a small amount of garden space, but you'll get to use your garden. Good luck OP

Megatron · 11/05/2020 18:43

I would absolutely go for some thorny bastard hedging or something but I suppose it takes a while to grow.

I so sympathise OP, I don't think people realise just how awful having terrible neighbours is, it affects how you're feeling all the time and just about everything you do. It's hell.

ChikiTIKI · 11/05/2020 18:48

If you're worried about an alarm thing getting damaged can you install it high up via an upstairs window so nobody else can reach it?

Footywife · 11/05/2020 19:10

Some really good advice on here. Thanks everyone Smile

OP posts:
noriim · 11/05/2020 19:24

I think you are mad not to move.

Get off your high-horse and just suck up the cost, you are not going to win...nightmare neighbours are often replaced by different nightmare neighbours.

usersouthcoast · 11/05/2020 19:28

Just a thought - I can imagine if you put up a wall or fence, they will just both each sit on a ladder all day and carry on. They are obviously doing it on purpose.

I wouldn't bother with trellis, they will tear it down by the sounds of them.

Indoor CCTV and the mosquito thing.

Windyatthebeach · 11/05/2020 19:30

Couple of gazebos along the fence line..

BitOfFun · 11/05/2020 19:31

Moving isn't easy or fast, especially in these times. Also, any disputes with neighbours have to be disclosed to the buyers, which will make the house very difficult to offload anyway.

The camera idea seems sensible to me, along with the sturdy trellis.

GreasyFryUp · 11/05/2020 19:38

If you have a fence up to 2m high and stagger it down so it is no more than 1m high where it meets the fri t walk you shouldn't need planning permission.

No fences over 1m high where the boundary meets the public highway

Ohtherewearethen · 11/05/2020 19:52

I think you are mad not to move.

Get off your high-horse and just suck up the cost, you are not going to win.

What terrible advice! You don't just sell a house, get a mortgage (that OP has stated many times she doesn't want), find a new house and move in within a day! Especially when there is a known dispute between them which will have to be declared to any potential buyers, and during a global pandemic. Do you honestly think it's that easy?
Why should OP have to move out of her home because of anti-social, short-term neighbours? Keep complaining, OP, even make a nuisance of yourself with it. Research and quote acts/rights that they and their landlord might be breaking, keep a note of it all and definitely get CCTV (although I believe you can only film your own property). I wish you luck. Having awful neighbours can have a hugely devasting effect.

Cherrysoup · 11/05/2020 20:08

Anything fragile will probably be damaged by idiot neighbours. I’d get a loan and get a wall up. Log every tiny thing, keep pestering the landlord. He’ll get bored eventually and speak to his shitty tenant, with luck.

Megatron · 11/05/2020 20:08

Get off your high-horse and just suck up the cost, you are not going to win.

In what world is not wanting your neighbours to be truly awful being on your 'high horse'? 🤣

fivesecondrule · 11/05/2020 20:41

We have a very lovely but very nosey elderly neighbour who constantly stand on a box to look over our 6ft fence. We didn't want to totally shut him out but it was a bit awkward if we were sat eating/ sunbathing etc. We put a permanent wooden gazebo up and out trellis between the wooden posts on his side and grew some climbers up it. Can't see us at all now. They do sell some in kit form on ebay, we made ours and it worked out a bit cheaper but my DDad designed it and he's very handy.

Footywife · 11/05/2020 20:42

@noriim "get off your high horse" Are you for real! What kind of world would it be if we all rolled over and played dead. I've lived here for 18 years and never ever had the misfortune of such bad neighbours. Not all tenants are c*cks you know.

I'm almost 50 and refuse to take on a mortgage. I want to live my life, not be tied to another mortgage

OP posts:
Gran22 · 21/05/2020 14:08

@Footywife don't you have a back garden to escape to? It seems strange to have houses where everyone sits in the front gardens, unless they are actual back to backs. DD lived in one of those, and the garden space at the front was tiny too.

As a privacy lover, I can understand your pain. Neighbour nuisance is difficult to live with, but its hard to get any action to resolve. I say hello to the neighbours, who fortunately are pleasant, and sometimes we chat. But who wants to have to even speak every time they go in their garden? I know I don't. Put in a holly bush where the neighbour reaches over. We have one, its lethal!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page