Why is seeing loved ones not outlined in step 1, 2 or 3?

[frillyfucks]

I'm on the fucking edge. I'm married to a farmer who is flat out, out of the house more or less dawn until dusk.

I have a toddler and a 9 week old baby who was 2 weeks old when lockdown was introduced. Ive found lockdown increasingly unbearable and I've lived this week in hope of having at least a plan of when I can see my parents and my DH's parents.

Nothing. Absolutely no detail in when we might expect to be allowed to see them at all. I've behaved and followed this fucking lockdown to the letter at the detriment of my own mental health and they haven't said anything about when we might see loved ones. Fucking hell BoJo is a new father, you'd think seeing loved ones might have featured on his agenda somewhere?!

I'm sorry if there is always loads of these threads, I just needed to vent my spleen.

Apparently we are getting more detail tomorrow but I do hope you can meet soon. Are they nearby. Can you not see them outside for a few mins My mum lives a few mins away so I see her to drop off milk etc and we chat at a distance. It does help.

Seeing loved ones doesn't help the economy

It’s ok for Carrie, she will have a live in Nanny and a night Nanny I’m sure. But it’s ok because they’ll be ‘social distancing’.

@frillyfucks I have a 10 week old and I’m finding that hard enough let alone having a toddler thrown in the mix! You have my deepest sympathies!

I’m sick of people saying “well the lockdown isn’t much different for you” because I’m on mat leave and it’s nice to have the baby to myself but I feel massive guilt that her doting grandparents cannot see her

I’m also sick of hearing “oh it’s fine they’re boring at this age” yes perhaps to Tom, dick and sally but not to nanny, granny, and the grandads! She’s changing so much constantly, they’re missing out on her smiles, grabbing things, having “conversations” she doesn’t just bloody sleep anymore she is interactive.

Thank you for allowing me to rant on your post OP, hopefully we will have more clarity and a little hope soon

@Booboodisney that's a bit unfair - nannies or not, I'm sure as a new mum she still wants to see her friends and family. It's also not her making these decisions

YANBU.
Mental health is important too, despite the fact that countless people on mumsnet and elsewhere are ridiculously dismissive about it.
Personally I think that if your household have been following the guidelines, your parents' households have been too, and no one is shielding for serious conditions or self isolating for symptoms, it would be very low risk for you to see parents. Maybe just pick one set, the ones who would give you the most practical and moral support during this time?
Others will most probably disagree so I await being flamed!

I understand. I have a 2.5 year old and a 2 week old. Struggling is not the word 😩

YANBU

Fuck it all off and see them tomorrow. X

When we are at the step that includes seeing loved ones we will get told. Right now unless you want to endanger yourself or your loved ones you can’t really see them. The media got a lot of people thinking we’d be relaxing lockdown much more, we should do ourselves a favour and expect nothing until it is formally announced.

Completely agree- i have a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old

What @PatsyJStone said.

I know we well get told in due course but they need to give people some idea otherwise more and more people will just ignore it and meet up with friends and family in any event.

myname
Exactly!

they haven't said anything about when we might see loved ones. Fucking hell BoJo is a new father, you'd think seeing loved ones might have featured on his agenda somewhere?!

I think they haven’t said anything because they know it’s just not going to be safe to see people from other households for a long time yet. If they came out and said that though, I think more people would be inclined to just give up and start mixing unfortunately. So better to just not mention it perhaps? Then people haven’t got a date they can see family but they do have the hope it may be soon. If they say 6 months, 12 months, many people just wouldn’t cope. To be fair to Boris, and I’m not a fan, it’s not his fault this is happening. And I think whoever was in charge would be being advised to handle it the same way. It’s shit though and I imagine it’s very tough with 2 young children on your own most of the time.

I agree, if your household and your parents household have been at home with barely any social contact for going on 8 weeks what is the actual risk of either of you having corona virus? Slim to none. There is virtually no risk for households which have been at home the whole time.

Because some of the population has continued to work (thankfully!) the government have to apply a blanket policy which is fair to those pulling their weight back in the real world even if the risk to those who stayed at home is very low.

We aren’t in a police state you are encouraged to abide by lockdown but you aren’t going to be sent to prison for seeing your parents!

I'm sorry there are others suffering, it truly is shit with very new babies to not have your support network around.
I think I might move my parents in for the remainder of lockdown. The only risk for two families who have been effectively self isolating is the pressure put on the NHS if they have a car accident on the journey. I can only assume that as they have announced that you are allowed to drive to take exercise that this factors lower down the risk spectrum.
I've got to weigh up the risk to our physical health vs the risk to my mental health if I carry on alone. I suspect I am one of several thousand who is doing the same this evening - not giving us anything to work towards feels very unfair right now, when so many people in the country are feeling the same way.

There was precious little detail eg they talked about going to work but what if your work is a hairdresser?

Oh my goodness, if your parents aren’t vulnerable and they would like to move in with you then 110% do that. I can’t begin to imagine how much you’re struggling and there’s no end in sight. I wouldn’t feel guilty in the slightest with that decision.

I think I might move my parents in for the remainder of lockdown.

I think that sounds like a good solution if everyone is happy with that. I hope things get easier soon.

I'm finding it hard and don't have kids but do have anxiety which I take medication for. My sister has a toddler and young baby. She is also finding it really difficult. I really understand how you are feeling. I fe ll angry because I feel these new annoumcents are putting us more at risk. I don't want to see my family of its not safe. But I think the gov need to acknowledge this is a big issue for many people. Sending love

I would absolutely do that if you feel it will help.

I can’t understand how they can have missed this off! Surely the majority of people have this at the top of their agenda - unfathomable!

Can you move your parents in with you to help out?

Mental health etc has been overlooked with all this. Are you shielding/they shielding? If you are both careful why not be careful in one household?

Sod the doom and gloom brigade - some with have us apart forever and love it. If you are struggling do what you think is right for you and your family - the message from the government is so woolly anyway

See your parents OP. Your mental health is important and you need to stay well for your new baby and toddler. Postnatal depression can kill and at this point is probably a bigger risk to your family than Covid. Sending virtual hugs