Why is seeing loved ones not outlined in step 1, 2 or 3?

[frillyfucks]

I'm on the fucking edge. I'm married to a farmer who is flat out, out of the house more or less dawn until dusk.

I have a toddler and a 9 week old baby who was 2 weeks old when lockdown was introduced. Ive found lockdown increasingly unbearable and I've lived this week in hope of having at least a plan of when I can see my parents and my DH's parents.

Nothing. Absolutely no detail in when we might expect to be allowed to see them at all. I've behaved and followed this fucking lockdown to the letter at the detriment of my own mental health and they haven't said anything about when we might see loved ones. Fucking hell BoJo is a new father, you'd think seeing loved ones might have featured on his agenda somewhere?!

Whatever he is saying tomorrow should have been said today. Hes set off so much confusion. He wasnt clear at all.

I'm sorry, it must be so hard when your children are so little and your dh must be working crazy hours this time of year.

@FrillyFucks Sod it all, and go and see your family and DH's family. The whole thing was ridiculous at the start, and is all the more so now. You do whatever you need to do.

Boris’ briefing ways unhelpful and confusing, I’m not understanding why I can’t go and see my parents but my five year old can go back to school?? If you’re really stuggling OP why not move in with your parents or in-laws for a bit? I’m so confused about the whole school thing no way are little kids going to social distance from each other.

There was precious little detail eg they talked about going to work but what if your work is a hairdresser?

This is an excellent question.

@IckyIsAFuckingStupidWord

What's not clear? If you can't practise safe social distancing at work then you shouldn't go.

There was precious little detail eg they talked about going to work but what if your work is a hairdresser?

Wouldn’t hairdresser would come under shops reopening so in step 2 at the earliest. Hairdressers definitely not back at work tomorrow.

I'm going to wait and see what they say tomorrow and if it's no clearer - there's a fucking lot less risk going to see my parents, when we have all followed these bloody rules, than there is me sunbathing in the park 2 metres away from a complete fucking stranger.

Where the fuck are the priorities? People don't need to exercise all day. We need to see our loved ones

No mention of ppl living alone either (I’m in this boat).
We can play sport with our household - wonderful, I’ll just hit that tennis ball over the net to fresh air

I really want to see my mum. I haven't seen her since February and god knows when I'll see her again. She lives 4 hours drive away, so I can't just nip round and stand two metres away. I don't normally see her frequently, but I'd normally see her every 6-8 weeks or so. I was supposed to go back for a week at Easter and then go away on holiday with her in May half term. I suppose I'd been hoping that perhaps at the end of May I'd be able to go back to her's for a few days, but now I feel really down.

I doubt we'll be seeing anyone until the end of May as that fits in with the last lot of lockdown.

I think more will be explained over the next two weeks.

They have to address mixing households, they have told everyone to go back to work if they can’t work at home. What about people who aren’t key workers so don’t qualify to use the hubs but also can’t work from home? Surely one option is for family to do childcare but then that’s currently not allowed!

And I live alone, so I'm getting lonely. I'd like to see my best friend, but she's shielding because she's got a lung condition, so we can't go out and play tennis or anything, not that we'd want to.

Any /all return to work is dependant on being able to maintain social distancing.
Which a hairdresser can't.

Op can you not meet them outside at a safe distance. Around here that is what everyone is doing. Dp has met all his family but always outside about 6 metres distance.

My mum died very suddenly and unexpectedly and I will never, ever be able to see her again, my young children will never see her again.

It's hard, I need my family more than ever and I have a long history of anxiety and depression, but please take comfort knowing that you can and will see you family at some point soon, you can talk to them, hear their voice, FaceTime or video call them, makes plans for the future and hold them tight when you do eventually see them.

I'm not dismissing your feelings, just trying to take a different perspective and you will realise how lucky you are.

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack
I think they haven’t said anything because they know it’s just not going to be safe to see people from other households for a long time yet.
No. This cannot happen. Its pure evil and inhumane to do this to people. People living alone need to be allowed to see people. What the fuck is the point in living otherwise?

Then people haven’t got a date they can see family but they do have the hope it may be soon.

Fucking evil fruitless hope. This is torture - the hope of release that never comes. What a cruel way to torture a population.

If they say 6 months, 12 months, many people just wouldn’t cope.

I'd cope a lot better knowing a date. People who aren't alone don't seem to understand how hellish this is. I think it's going to kill me.

To be fair to Boris, and I’m not a fan, it’s not his fault this is happening.

Perhaps he and the rest of them forcing this inhumanity on people should be forced into solitary confinement to focus their minds a bit? Maybe then they'd stop with this cruelty to people living alone. And no I don't give a shit that he's got a new baby - disgusting man doesn't deserve a family when he's taken away family and friends from others. Where's my chance to meet someone and have a family now? Oh yeh, taken away by this evil lockdown, just like anything else of value has been taken from me. Fucking government should be forced to suffer what they inflict on others - take their lives away too.

I confess I had a little weep when there was no mention of meeting other households anywhere in the three step plan.

Much as I love DP, I need to see other family members!

We can play sport with our household - wonderful, I’ll just hit that tennis ball over the net to fresh air hmm @Pinkpercy 😂
Stuck with my ex, just the two of us...maybe I’ll smash the ball at his fecking face.

@stopandListen I'm so very sorry for your loss. But I wish people would stop telling me how lucky I am. I am scared to death that these dark thoughts are turning into PND because I have no one to share this with. And I can't tell people in real life about how much I really do need help because I feel they will judge me. Because I am lucky to live on a farm in all this space and freedom and people have it so much worse. And I've got a beautiful family and food on the table. But I'm so desperately struggling and I was hoping the announcement would bring me closer to seeing my mum and it hasn't. And I have this windy, refluxy baby who cries and cries and she just wants to feed and feed I have a toddler who just wants to talk and make and play and run and be free and I can't make both of them happy ever. I need my mum before I go to complete shit - I never intended to do this alone. I know it's no ones fault, I know we're fighting a virus and it's awful for everyone but people telling me I'm lucky just compound the fact that I can't tell anyone in real life that I'm drowning.

@TurtleTortoise I'm so sorry you are all alone, and I'm sorry tonight hasn't brought any answers for you. Can you move in with someone to isolate together? Xx

According to the Guardian you can meet and sit with (2m away from) a single member of another household in the open air, so long as you maintain the distance.

So driveway cuppas etc are ok

See your Mum - you need help.

It'll be fine. If your Mum and Dad can come and are happy to do so - then that's what must happen. You are not going to cause the destruction of the human race - and you need help.

(But today is a bad day OP - I remember them - it is hard)

I understand I really do, I suffered terribly from PND after both my children were born and my mum helped so much, god knows how I would have got through it without her.

Like I said I'm not dismissing you feelings, and if I felt like you and I COULD see my mum, I would! Socially distanced of course, you could meet somewhere and socially distance, the point is you CAN see her, that's not telling you that your lucky just a fact, arrange to meet on a socially distanced walk, in a park, your mental health is important too

TurtleTortoise

It’s shit and I’m sorry you’re struggling. I do think the government are trying to keep people safe but clearly you need some help from the things you’ve written. Do you have anyone you could go and stay with or that could stay with you? In your situation, feeling so desperate, I would move in with family or friends for the rest of lockdown if possible. Just like OP is thinking of having her parents move in to help her, some situations justify it.