Is this a subtle insult?

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I was talking to a male friend today. Last summer we ended up having to share a tent together due to circumstance (long story).

Nothing happened and it never would. We just slept after staying up late with a group. Today we were talking and he said I can trust him with anything if I even need help, as he didn't do anything inappropriate that night. So far so good. He then said 'while some men are tempted and may act inappropriate being close to sexy women, you know you can trust men who have to be close to you because they won't be attracted to the exterior and are doing it because they care about you inside'

Not sure how to take this. I don't fancy him and don't want him to fancy me, and I certainly don't want any one to do anything against my wishes or inappropriate. But I read it as 'you don't have to worry about men wanting you, you're so ugly they will only be spending time with you because of your personality' obviously personality most important but no one wants to be known as the minger no one wants to shag but they have a nice personality.

Maybe I am overthinking - tell me I AIBU before I sew a bag to wear on my head for the rest of my life

It's either what you think or he's attempting to tell you he likes your personality/heart/soul in a way that he's just fucked right up.
If you don't like him that way then fuck what he thinks. His opinion isn't fact.
Attractiveness/sexiness is relative isn't it.

Too fucking right he shouldn't have 'done anything inappropriate that night'

Are you meant to thank him and glory in his amazing restraint

I would not go anywhere near him.

Ever.

I'd probably say "hahaha am I supposed to be grateful that you aren't a rapist?"

I don’t understand why he felt the need to say anything at all! Has he got form for being a weirdo?

I don't understand what he said tbh

He's telling you that he's a bloody knob.

Oh, you can trust me because I didn't rape you in the tent that night?

Really? That's the bar he thinks you should set?

I think he was calling you a sexy woman, in a very long winded, weird way, and I also think he was congratulating himself on not being a rapist.

I think he was calling you a sexy woman, in a very long winded, weird way

Yeah, that's what I thought- that he's saying (in a really awkward way) I didn't make a move out of respect, not because I'm interested.

I think the rape comments are hyperbole, there is a long way between being pushy/inappropriate and rape.

I either read it as: you're sexy but because I know you I chose not to sexually assault you because I think you're a decent person OR you're not that attractive so it was easy to resist the temptation to sexually assault you but don't worry, that means any guy who does want to have sex with you must really like you. Either way, the conclusion is the same: he's a twat.

He’s a creep. He’s just lifted himself out of friend territory and put himself in former friend territory.

I can see why he's still single.

But on a separate note please don't let your self-esteem depend on men who do or don't find you attractive. No need for bags over your head even if he told you you resemble Shrek's uglier big sister.

I would ask for clarification. Sounds like he got himself in knots.

“you know you can trust men who have to be close to you because they won't be attracted to the exterior and are doing it because they care about you inside”

Err...what? Why won’t they be attracted to the exterior?
Sounds rude as fuck to me.

I think he was calling you a sexy woman, in a very long winded, weird way

I didn't read congratulating himself on his restraint, either. He just sounds like an awkward person trying to express an awkward sentiment.

I would not ask for clarification. Remember the advice Sally gave Harry (in When Harry Met Sally)": "Let it lie."
Let it lie.

ewwww what a creep

He does sound a little bit strange and what he says doesn’t make very much sense.
Is he the sort of person who usually says offensive things?
I think whatever he was trying to say came out in a very muddled way, but I would try not to take it as an insult.
Even if he meant that he doesn’t find you attractive, that doesn’t mean you are unattractive , you are just not his taste ( and I would find that a relief to be honest !).

you can trust men who have to be close to you because they won't be attracted to the exterior

How is this ambiguous at all? He’s basically saying you’re not attractive enough on the exterior to attract trouble. Which is nonsense since even the least fortunate looking of us get attention like that.

I think he started off by saying that the two of you are friends so nothing would ever happen and ended up tying himself in knots. It just got embarrassing for him and probably you and he tried to talk his way out. Don't say anything to him as he is probably already mortified just thinking about it.

I think he sounds rude as fuck

I'm reading it as he doesn't think you're attractive so it's easy to share with you

I'm wondering what his Adonis like features are

Knob

I read it is “aren’t I such a good man because I didn’t attempt to sexually assault you or hit you up for a one night stand/ cheeky blow job. I’m one of the good ones see”

Icky twatty moron. Stay away.

What 🤦🏻‍♀️. What a douchebag.

So he seems smug that you can trust him because he didn't sexually assault you...

And then adds that you wouldn't be sexually assaulted in that situation because of how you look?

That's how I read it anyway!

bubblybarbara I agree with you.

I'm reading it as him saying don't worry no man would try it on due to your 'exterior' not being sexually attractive to them - how dare he be such a fucking knob.

Firstly just because he doesn't fancy you doesn't mean another man wouldn't fancy you. All men have different ideas of who's attractive just as women do.

And secondly any man who is the type to 'try it on' with a woman (eg a potential rapist) is generally not always the type to care what she looks like anyway.

I used to have a male friend who turned out to be a bit of a bully and would put me & another friend down about our appearance even being rude about our looks to other men!! Well when I found out that I got rid of that male friend.
But he ruined my confidence for a long time.
Don't let your friend do that to you.
Btw now I look at old photos I realise I was actually quite pretty & I feel bad that I let that twat put me down.