To be fucking furious?

[Dhalandchips]

My dcs just came back from their dad's. He took them to someone else's house to visit. No handwasing after they left until they got to our house. I'm 'at risk'. My ds is prone to viral chest infections. This is the man who couldn't get his son a birthday present because he is allegedly immunocompromised. I'm livid. We have been following all the rules, not been out in the past six weeks apart from one trip to big tesco and walks around the block. Trying to write a sensible message to let him know he can't be trusted so I won't be sending them until the pandemic is over. He will minimise, twist and manipulate it to somehow be fault but he needs to know he's done something staggeringly stupid.

Noextremes2017 - precisely!

Mikki2019, that is just a re-phrasing of the current guidelines

It is, because there is little if any difference between 'go out only for one of a few reasons deemed necessary' and 'stay home as much as possible'.

But depending on the context the govt give it, maybe the rephrase will be seen by some as free rein to make up their own range of reasons why it is not possible to stay home.

FFS. This is why the government needs to be clear. Lock down isn’t over. Lockdown is still in place but you’re being asked to use common sense. Unfortunately it seems many don’t have this and this is going to cause the massive second wave. More deaths.

OP, I’d be angry too. Can’t advise on how you’d approach this, as a supposed father putting their child and the mother of their child at risk would warrant nothing less than death.

@Noextremes2017 I'm not sure that you understand how Internet forums work...

lockdown is basically over now , so things will be getting back to ‘normal'

Ok, so PP is daft, but there are a substantial minority who seem to be interpreting the many contradictory statements in this way. The government's communication has been terrible.

Stop contact.

You are allowed under the current legal guidance. A PP is incorrect

@Noextremes2017 because he's a nasty piece if work, I'm alone, and I use this forum for support. I think that's what it's designed for. Thanks for your helpful and insightful input.

We don't yet know the full detail (if there is much) of what Boris will say this evening.

He's got an hour and a half, no way Boris has prepared what he will say yet.

Apso, the visit wasn't essential.

Er ..... isn't it between you and your kids father. Why bother sharing it with the world ffs!!??

Well you've brought them out tonight, OP. YANBU at all.

I wouldn't say if you can't be trusted as that sounds like you are giving him another chance, unless you are.

I would just say the kids said they went to visit another household and as you and ds are at risk, they won't be coming to his again until the risk has gone.
You are surprised he'd risk their health being immunocompromised himself.

@noextremes2017 isn't that what forum's are for? Mn would be very quiet if people didn't share their issues 🙄

YANBU OP.
I’d also be fuming given the sacrifices you have personally made to keep your household safe.

Lockdown isn’t over but for those jumping up and down about deaths the people are seen as needing to be prepared to actually go into the outside world again. People are ridiculously over scared even when the risk isn’t that great to them undertaking some activities.

Yanbu op, I’d be annoyed too.

well just proves my pointon the other thread everyone saing that new slogan was clear

yeah clear as mud

@Noextremes2017 FFS, is this your first time on an anonymous internet advice forum?

@Mikki2019 have another head bang, I hope you’re not one of my friends!

OP, absolutely send an email and stop contact. Maybe take out “the kids told me” and just start “As you took the kids to ......” Stops them being dragged into it and him telling them to lie to you.

lockdown is basically over now

This is my concern. Absolutely ludicrous statements like this.

Certainly looked over today when I was driving through N London !

How old are your dc op and how sure can you be of the details?

My youngest would tell you he’s visited Nanna twice recently - but ‘visited’ meant he went with dh in the car and stood outside her front gate, about 3m away whilst dh got something from the garage.

I’d just be sure of your facts before you go nuclear on him.

@Dhalandchips I spent many hundred of pounds with my solicitor last month discussing this, if there's no formal arrangement then withdraw contact on the basis of facts that you have stated. If he wants contact he will have to apply to family court, who are not seeing non-emergency cases such as this for many months from now. Basically gold firm. I know I will be.
Feel free to message me directly at any time as I share your pain and as I say, I've discussed at length and my father is a family court lawyer.

well just proves my pointon the other thread everyone saing that new slogan was clear

The advice is clear to anyone with half a brain in my opinion. Unfortunately...... but the thick we are going to have educate pdq if we are going to keep deaths down over the next 12 months.

He was definitely in the wrong and needs to be told so which it sounds like you have done. I would be cross in your place but wouldn't be sufficiently angry to start a thread on Mumsnet about it.

Kids are 13 & 11.
@Lynda, I needed to vent. As mentioned previously, I am alone. You do you and I'll do me.

TO me that tweet is a "Keep doing what you are doing" ie essentially lockdown - I don't see anything has changed