To ask if I'm the only one who prefers to eat with a tray on my lap rather than at the table?

[JeanfromAccounts]

I don't really want to chat about my day or hear about my family's day when I'm eating. I want to eat, savour the food and read or watch the news with my tea (dinner/supper/whatever you call it) on a tray on my lap.

Any fellow heathens out there?

Meh! It’s your choice.

I prefer the table because I like to talk to DD and DH in the evening and I’ve just spent ages cooking what we’re eating and I like to see them appreciate it.

Do think it’s a bit odd that you think this is weird or middle class. Both my parents are working class and we never ate in front of the tv. Seems like an odd reverse snobbery.

However, you are obviously free to unwind however you please.

SO why would I want to inflict family meals on my children?

I agree with the PP. Your childhood experience was awful, but eating at the table doesn’t have to be like that at all. Lots of people find it enjoyable family time.

Having said that, each to their own in terms of preference.

Sounds really uncomfy to me.

I love eating my dinner on my lap in front of the tv, don't do it very much now I have two kids

Also dh is Italian and our meal times are quite long - especially at the moment as we all eat lunch together too so I think a tray would be uncomfy. We eat in the kitchen and we don't have a tv there. Also we don't all fit on the sofa so not practical!

Dinner always eaten at the table here. Radio on to filter out eating noises. Other meals eaten wherever the eatee wishes.

I wonder if increased eating in front of the TV contributes to the UK's collective weight issues? If I do eat something while watching TV I find I am not focused on what I am eating, less aware of how much I'm eating and eat far more quickly.

SO why would I want to inflict family meals on my children?

You could have a meal at the table, but not do all the insane stuff.

Well the countries with very strict social etiquette around eating tend to have low levels of obesity. For example France and Japan.

US is the other extreme.

So there probably is something in it.

We used to eat as a family at a table when DC were small. Now they have left home, DH and I eat at the dining room table for our lunch - now that we work from home, as it’s a break from the “office”. We do have trays for our supper though.

I prefer to eat at a table even if on my own - I just find it more comfortable

We don't have a table. But then we don't have a (conventional) settee or a television either. I sit on the single mattress that acts as our settee to eat (no tray though). My daughter sits anywhere she pleases (often in her nest swing attached to the climbing frame, with a stool to put her food on). My partner usually eats at his desk in his room.

That certainly is unconventional.

Do think it’s a bit odd that you think this is weird or middle class. Both my parents are working class and we never ate in front of the tv. Seems like an odd reverse snobbery

I totally agree. Not sure why class has even been brought into this thread.

I love sitting at the table.
It’s comfortable, there’s room for drinks, condiments and sometimes putting the pot of whatever we’re eating in the middle and helping ourselves is nice (I liked doing it when weaning DC too, as they could help themselves to what they wanted).

I loathe eating en famille around a table - I have so many bad memories of it as a child - my mother throwing a hissy fit if we didn't want to eat everything, not being allowed to say anything whilst the grown ups talked, being slapped for not holding cutlery correctly, elbows on table, hands not on lap between courses, not folding napkin up correctly at the end of the meal - the list is endless. SO why would I want to inflict family meals on my children?
@Londonmummy66 I can relate to bits of this, especially being forced to eat everything on my plate - it’s caused an unhealthy attitude towards food growing up.
But, I liked the idea of making it nice for DC when we had them so focused on that - trying new food, always complimenting just trying food, not even liking it etc Now they’re a bit older, we catch up, younger DD likes to play “would you rather” or “best part of the day” which gets us all talking. It’s a nice bit of down time after work and before bedtime. We’re more relaxed than my childhood (don’t have to finish all food, allow them to get up if they’ve finished etc)

I’m very much of the view, what works for your family is unique to you - no one rule suits all. I don’t judge anyone sitting in the living; I can’t eat in the living room, I’m drop food all the time and my carpet would be wrecked!

Not being picky yes I am but eating at an island qualifies as eating at a table, doesn't it? It's a flat surface

Yes, for DH and DC. It's me who prefers a tray. Sometimes I join them. Wouldn't let anyone eat in their bedrooms.

At the weekend and when DH is WFH (not usually but full time at the moment), we eat at 5:30. If it's a "normal" day then he gets home way after the DC's dinner time so we eat when they're in bed.

If we're eating with the kids, we have it at the table, unless we're having a takeaway pizza (other takeaways are at the table). If DH and I are eating later then we eat on the sofa, watching TV.

Breakfast is always at the table unless it's Sunday, which is TV breakfast. Lunch is always on the sofa, unless DD(6) is at school in which case me and DS(1) normally have lunch at the table.

Our settee would be wrecked if we always ate there.

YANBU

Any meals eaten with DC are eaten at the table. Other than that, generally breakfast/lunch are eaten at the table (unless one of us is WFH then it is eaten in front of the monitor) and dinner is on a tray in front of the TV. DH won’t eat hot food with his hands (even takeaway pizza) but is quite able to manage this on a lap tray.

We eat all our meals with DS who us 5 and I wouldn’t trust him with a tray so it’s all at a table for us.

Also a lot of the food we eat is help yourself at the table and I don’t have a big enough table in the living room.

It’s a massive treat to eat in front of the telly though, if DS stays away a night (has happened I think 3 times since he was born).

TruthpactDont unleash the playing up vs ‘family style’ debate! Plating up sofa suppers make sense. Whatever works for each family, we all enjoy what we enjoy and that’s the main thing.

*plating

Dining table is permanently covered in an ongoing jigsaw.
I think people should just do what suits them. Table/no table, tray/no tray, tv on/off.
As a number of posters have pointed out, it’s considered lucky to have the space to fit a table ( I’ve been in a few new builds... the words swing and cat spring to mind.)

It's the one time of day when we meet up as a family and chat. I love it, sometimes it means we're sitting there for the rest of the evening, sometimes we're finished within half an hour. No matter, we've caught up in each other's lives and it's lovely.

I had six years without a table, so had to eat on my knee then. I think it's scarred me for life.

@redbigbananafeet

Yeah thought that one might be a bit fun to bring out.

We plate up every night. Family buffet style is just special occasions or get togethers for big groups. Although even then we don't often do it.