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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if I'm the only one who prefers to eat with a tray on my lap rather than at the table?

150 replies

JeanfromAccounts · 09/05/2020 08:45

I don't really want to chat about my day or hear about my family's day when I'm eating. I want to eat, savour the food and read or watch the news with my tea (dinner/supper/whatever you call it) on a tray on my lap.

Any fellow heathens out there?

OP posts:
ifeellikeanidiot · 09/05/2020 09:41

DC are 12 and 10. Dinner on laps in front if tv is one of the highlights of my day. We e watched loads of great tv together, really look forward to.

CaptainCallisto · 09/05/2020 09:42

We least used to eat around the table, but then ended up spending 18 months living in a tiny terraced house that simply didn't have room for one. We moved out of that house three years ago, and now have our lovely dining table back. We hardly ever use it to eat! Mostly we eat on our laps in the living room. The DC's do their homework on the dining table, DH paints his models on it, and I use it as a sewing table, but it it only really gets eaten at on Christmas Day...

CaptainCallisto · 09/05/2020 09:43

We least = we always

eaglejulesk · 09/05/2020 09:45

I can't even remember when I last ate at the table Grin The table is simply to put stuff on.

MissMarks · 09/05/2020 09:46

We sit at the table. I think it is really important for children to do that with their parents as it has been shown to improve they speech, language and communication skills. Can’t understand why if you are fortunate enough to have space for a table and chairs you wouldn’t use them.

Original poster
JeanfromAccounts · 09/05/2020 09:47

I am so tired of the tedious middle class trope that everyone in the family should eat together round a table in a room lined with bookshelves

Grin and chat about their day! My DC never bloody stop telling me about their day - i don't want them to do so with their mouths full!

OP posts:
Animum2 · 09/05/2020 09:47

We don't have a table to sit as we don't have enough room but we do have one of those single fold away tables and trays with cushions underneath and they are very good

ThomasHardyPerennial · 09/05/2020 09:50

I eat lunch and breakfast at the table, but prefer to eat dinner sitting on the sofa. I just want to relax at the end of the day.

Original poster
JeanfromAccounts · 09/05/2020 09:53

Can’t understand why if you are fortunate enough to have space for a table and chairs you wouldn’t use them

Can't understand why if you're fortunate enough to have a lap and a tray you wouldn't use them.

OP posts:
LellyMcKelly · 09/05/2020 09:54

Table. I love serving food in serving bowls so everyone helps themselves, ask Alexa to play a playlist, a glass of wine at the weekend. It’s just very calming for everyone and it’s a good laugh. It marks the end of the day. We tend to sit there yapping after dinner a lot of the time. It’s the only time it’s just ‘us’ and it’s where the kids unpack a lot of their brains - processing their day, problems and achievements. The best part of the day.

Ginseng1 · 09/05/2020 09:56

Why is it a middle class thing? Neither of us came from middle class n never ever did lap / tv dinners. With us before kids unless it was an occasion in the eves dh n I would have tv dinners. Now with kids it's at the table cos 3 kids eating off laps in lounge would be a right mess & don't want it to stink of food in there all the time! If I or dh working late and eating reheats on own then prob have it on the lap. Or with takeaway pizza we will have a TV dinner with movie n kids as a treat.

Falafellygood · 09/05/2020 09:59

We always sit at the table as my kids are very young so trying to implement good patterns. However, once a week we eat on the sofa/kids table, especially if we have a 'freezer meal' or something like pizza. It's a nice change. But all other meals at the table.

Original poster
JeanfromAccounts · 09/05/2020 10:03

It's not calming for everyone though.
For some families it's very stressful.

it’s where the kids unpack a lot of their brains - processing their day, problems and achievements

That's nice I just want to eat not chat. Plenty of other opportunities for that in our house.

OP posts:
whattodo2019 · 09/05/2020 10:06

Really?
I certainly do not enjoy eating a meal balanced
On my lap and even worse with the TV on...

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 09/05/2020 10:07

We only eat roast dinners at our dining table 😄 Breakfast and lunch are eaten in the kitchen at the breakfast bar, tea and pudding are eaten on the sofa.

billy1966 · 09/05/2020 10:08

Oh god I used to adore this when I was a single girl living on my own or sharing with a pal.

Sitting, eating on the sofa watching something mindless. Absolutely heaven.

Having grown up with a family where meals were always at the table etc...it was like discovering gold.

Sadly now my background and conditioning means we all eat at the table, no phones etc.

Occasionally an unwell child or a upset teenager will come in late having had a tough day and I will offer a tray......they always know this is a treat and that it is a sign of sincere sympathy.

OP, you are a total disgrace wanting to sit down on your own, after a hard day, wanting a bit of peace to enjoy your meal in silence.....get back to the table and suck it up like the rest of us😫🤣🤣

madcatladyforever · 09/05/2020 10:11

I remember family meals, my siblings would fight most of the meal, my mother had tourettes and the constant jerking and tics jangled my nerves to a frenzy and my father ate with his mouth open, you could see the food going round.
I hated it, it was like an animal farm, I've never eaten at a table since.
I eat in front of the tv like normal people.

formerbabe · 09/05/2020 10:15

I eat in front of the tv like normal people

Same Grin we even have a tv mounted on the wall by our dining table!

Nousernameforme · 09/05/2020 10:18

We eat off laps I always feel guilty and promise myself i am going to clear the table of the current junk art craft project or the washing that is ready to go up but I don't.
Plus I have 2 with asd here one likes to eat in peace alone without other peoples eating noises and he always has something different. I cook like 4 sometimes 5 different things a night.

I hate eating around the table someone always wants another drink etc and it's always me who has to go get it. I just want to watch something absorbing on my phone and eat.

It is bad and i shouldn't do it.

tinkywinkyshandbag · 09/05/2020 10:21

No YANBU but we do find that long lazy meals at the table can be good fun, for getting a bit of chat and banter going with the teen DDs. But it can be hard work doing that every night so we also do "pikey tea" (sorry!) a few times a week which means tea in front of the telly, usually watching something like friends or modern family on Netflix. Only really works with casual food so things like pizza, quesadillas, burgers. If I'm
doing something fancier or that needs a knife and fork then we eat at the table. If I'm ever on my own which is rare, I would definitely eat in front of the TV, would never sit at the table alone.

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 09/05/2020 10:21

I would think you enjoy the food more around a table that staring at the tv or reading a book. Don’t understand how you could “savour” it more with an intentional distraction.

Lweji · 09/05/2020 10:22

I've done both and prefer to eat at the table.

However, sometimes ds and I go to the sofa. But that's if there's finger food like pizza.
He usually eats it all in 5 min anyway, so I spend the rest of the time with my phone.

I don't see the appeal of dining in front of the tv with forks and other cutlery, although I do it in rare occasions. Usually if there's something I really want to watch on tv and recording it would spoil the fun.
It's just too cumbersome.

VisionQuest · 09/05/2020 10:23

I'm like this. I hate 'chatting' over dinner. I just want to enjoy my food in peace (with some shite tv on).

I think I was more sociable pre DC but having a peaceful dinner is one of life's few pleasures at the moment.

Currently we are living in each other's pockets and we chat all day long anyway, so I don't feel the need to extend that to dinner time!

GrumpyHoonMain · 09/05/2020 10:24

You have plenty of time when you’re really old and need full time care to eat on a tray. I don’t understand why people don’t eat around the table. Food and eating is sacred and should involve social traditions and ritual - too many people stuffing their faces in front of the TV has caused people to not value food or their time

TeaAndCake · 09/05/2020 10:31

Working class here.
We eat at the table because when the DC were little it was far easier to clean the mess and dropped food from around the kitchen table than all around the living room and sofa.

It's just stuck. In fact, my kids now lack the skills to eat without the aid of a table especially when using cutlery (I'm sure they'd manage a sandwich etc) but I'm not prepared to clean up carpets and soft furnishings several times a day when I could wipe the table and sweep the floor beneath it (or they could) much easier.

Apart from any of that, I also lack the skills to eat away from the table and keep my own clothes stain free! So, eating on the sofa is just an occasional thing for me.

DH grew up eating from small tables in the living room in front of the TV, my mum always had us eat at the table (albeit the TV was in the same room, the table at one end so if we were watching something we could continue whilst eating, but not always).
DH much prefers to eat at the table now though.