Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you've lost a heap of weight and now look great how do you get treated differently?

52 replies

OhioOhioOhio · 08/05/2020 22:06

Looking for inspiration.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/05/2020 22:11

You shouldn't be losing weight to expected to be treated properly. I'm size 26 and got no intentions of losing weight. It's my body. back
Fat or not, I don't give shit out, so I won't take it back

Lonan · 08/05/2020 22:13

Yes. Massively so. I went from a size 24 to a size 12. It really frustrates me. I am exactly the same person.

OculusThrift · 08/05/2020 22:14

I lost over 7 stone and I perceived myself as being treat differently at first, then realised it was probably because I was less self conscious and more comfortable in my skin.

I do prefer being slimmer and healthier, I feel more happier and more myself.

CyberNan · 08/05/2020 22:17

if you are looking to date, I would imagine you would be treated differently. body size and shape is important to some people

CuntyBumpkin · 08/05/2020 22:22

In your title you say 'and now look great'. This is what people think. Slim = better.

I went from big to slim and I was treated so differently and now I'm big again and once again it's all changed.

It's not socially acceptable to be bigger. It upsets me that people judge me now. I read threads on here and they sound awful about big people.

But, a diagnosed eating disorder and 35 gall stones due to fast weight loss means I'll always be big and I'm grieving my slimmer body and the trwstment I had.

Tatietata · 08/05/2020 22:22

I got a lot more compliments on how I looked. At first it actually made me feel really shit. I had assumed friends didn't care how I looked, but once they started commenting I thought "they thought I looked bad all the time". I now like the compliments.

I don't think it's had any other effect on how I'm treated.

Gemma2019 · 08/05/2020 22:22

I've lost 65lbs since last March and am now a comfortable size 10. People treat me completely differently but I think it's because I feel so differently about myself. I wear lovely clothes all the time now and not just whatever fits me from the big shops, and I spend more time on my appearance. I feel happier and confident now and have more energy and enthusiasm and people treat me accordingly.

FATEdestiny · 08/05/2020 22:27

I've gone from BMI 43 to BMI 24.

During the process of losing weight it's amazing to get constant (literally constant) compliments. Great boost.

Once everyone I knew was used to my new weight I noticed how strangers treat me differently (in a better way). People are, genuinely, kinder and more willing to help or be nice to me as a slim person. They seem to want to help more, engage more. I feel much less invisible at a normal weight.

Something else tho, and it's this from PP:

Fat or not, I don't give shit

When I was fat, knew I was fat and had no intention to lose weight - I had a "this is me, I don't give a shit what you think" attitude. That has disappeared as a lost weight. I now do care what others think of me. Not just the physical size of me, but me as a person.

The "I don't care what you think" when i was fat was like a coat of armour. As well as not caring what others thought about my size, I extended this to not caring what others thought about my actions, behaviour, or just me as a person.

Upon slimming I lost this "I don't care what you think" attitude and found I did care if I was liked or judged to be a good person. I don't know why, there's probably some significant psychology at play but it's definately noticeable in me.

OliviaPopeRules · 08/05/2020 22:30

FATEdestiny not the point of this thread I know but interest how you lost the weight? Always looking for inspiration!

Dg556f · 08/05/2020 22:34

Size 16 to size 8. Suddenly became visible to lots of men. People generally a lot friendlier towards me, especially the shallow middle class medical staff I worked with at the time.

However some of it must have been my confidence levels. I held my head up and made eye contact much easier because I was proud of my achievement (shame it was mostly done through starvation and intense exercise. I'm a size 10 now and much healthier).

SonjaMorgan · 08/05/2020 22:38

I behaved differently. When I am fat I try to disappear and wear awful baggy clothes. With weight loss came nice clothes, styled hair and makeup.

Thingsthatgo · 08/05/2020 22:40

I went from a 16 to an 8. I got the same amount of attention, but from different men.
It felt like I was treated more respectfully ( in restaurants and shops).
Also, some people, not close friends but long term friends, didn’t like that I’d lost weight and the dynamics of our relationship changed.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/05/2020 22:42

Oh I did used to care very much so, believe me. I haven't always had the "I don't give a shit" attitude,however. The older I've got the more confident I've became. Don't know where it came from just with age I guess.
I was entirely different as an 18 year old to what I am now. I was extremely sensitive and used to be overly nice to everyone.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/05/2020 22:43

Plus I'm never with out male attention.

feelingverylazytoday · 08/05/2020 23:31

Lost nearly 5 stone. I haven't noticed being treated differently really.

yellowbrickwhorl · 08/05/2020 23:57

It's less to do with how other people view you, and more to do with how you feel in yourself, I reckon. If you feel good in yourself, you behave differently, and that is what people respond to.

Eastender77 · 09/05/2020 00:14

I’ve lost almost 7 stone, and work I hospitality and have a lot of regular customers who have obviously noticed as I’ve lost it fairly quickly. I don’t know if I feel like I’m getting more attention or if I actually am. Obviously people are constantly mentioning the change in me physically so I suppose it feel like I’m getting more attention.
But for me it’s the feeling better about myself, I too used to say, this is me and I’m happy etc. But I wasn’t. I was miserable in my big body. I’m now a size 12-14 so still not tiny, but I’m healthier, feel comfortable, more confident, and whether it’s right or not to say, I do look better ! I feel normal - not like I stand out as the fat girl.

lyralalala · 09/05/2020 00:19

I went from a size 24 to a size 14 and the difference was upsetting. Compliments are one thing, but I realised that people were treating me like a better person, more intelligent and more valued. That’s Beeb quite difficult.

On the upside I also lost an extra 10 stone of deadweight when the friend who made it very clear I was the fat friend and had no right changing that flounced out of my life.

Stabbitha · 09/05/2020 00:20

A bit the opposite but I was severely underweight after two horrific pregnancies. I felt like I looked like a drug addict or something.

I've just hit my target weight and feel so much better. People treat me more positively, however I realise now they are responding to my confidence, not my weight.

Rebelwithallthecause · 09/05/2020 00:22

I just went from a 16/18 to a size 10 about 15 years ago and the difference in the way I was tested was instant.

BeerMyHold · 09/05/2020 00:22

Fuck that friend PP. Well done!

Scattyhattie · 09/05/2020 01:10

Much same as lyralalala i noticed i was treated better & don't believe it was all down to a change in my behavior as I'm shy & actually missed the invisibility of being fat at times. It also takes a while for your head to get used to your new reflection.

Socially I think there is an undercurrent that slim is more attractive and valued, whereas obese people are often seen as lazy, lacking care & willpower with little sympathy to reasons that maybe behind size.

PumpkinP · 09/05/2020 01:20

Oh people definitely treat you better. I’ve been overweight for years, was always previously slim but I struggle with weight in pregnancy and gained 5 stone and just couldn’t lose it, I have had 4 children very close together and I never lost the weight in between so I just ballooned in size. I was totally invisible to men. But I’ve now lost 3 stone since January and its amazing that I’m now visible again! I get a lot of attention now, I didn’t get any when bigger. Still go more to go but noticing the difference in the way I’m treated already.

Knowhowufeel2 · 09/05/2020 01:28

From size 26/28 to size 12.

I'm not invisible anymore, people are generally nicer, listen more and don't look at me with disgust when I eat in public.
Men also notice me more, in a more positive way, anyway, but I'm different too.
I dress better, I take more pride in my appearance and I look and feel younger. So maybe it's more that I'm giving out more positive vibes

LEELULUMPKIN · 09/05/2020 01:47

I went from 15 stone 2lbs to 8 stone 7lbs give or take a couple of lbs either way 15 years ago and have stayed that way ever since.

I don't notice any difference in the way I am treated whatsoever.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.