If you've lost a heap of weight and now look great how do you get treated differently?

[OhioOhioOhio]

Looking for inspiration.

Meant to say , that was from size 22/24 to size 10/12

I lost 100lbs in about 7 months, had skin removal etc. The first noticeable change was professionally I started booking a lot more work. I was a voiceover artist. The ultimate job where it should make no difference!! But people absolutely received me differently and my confidence grew from that, creating a positive feedback loop.

Certainly, not everybody cares about body shape, but enough do that it affects the way you carry yourself. When that little hurdle that you jump or circumvent subconsciously, multiple times a day, is removed, it's remarkable how your personality shifts. My body is a million miles from perfect, but it's "normal", so no longer affects the way I engage with the world as it used to.

I went up to an 18-20 from a 10-12 due to medication. I am now back down to a 12-14 and still dieting. I have noticed real changes in how I am treated.

I started one job when I was at my biggest and then another a few months ago when I had already lost quite a lot. Both central govt departments so not a million miles apart in terms of culture and the difference is marked.

At the last place, it was made very clear my face didn't fit and I was frankly treated like a lazy idiot, lots of snapping and mansplaining. I was overlooked and actually pushed aside in favour of people who did fit in physically. Here, I am treated with respect and given plenty of opportunities to develop, projects to work on etc.

Male attention has ramped back up but it is largely much more courteous. When bigger, I would be complimented and catcalled but it would often focus on my bust and bum and be very sexual in nature, rather than generally saying 'you look nice'.

I've been OLD for 2 years, always using recent pics and found that men would want to meet and go out but they'd be after sex and not much else when I was at my largest. Now, they seem to want to get to know me more seriously (obv currently I'm not meeting anyone in person).

I wouldn't have believed the difference if I hadn't lived it.

Can I flip this on its head?
I used to be called 'the golf club' because I was so skinny (and have size 11 feet!) I felt that I was a small voice drowned out by others, particularly men.

Once I became more robust, say, I was taken seriously as a senior manager in the workplace. As a golf club I went unheard.

No doubt appearance means something. For me it took a 30 pound weight gain and suddenly I was taken seriously.

Unfair? You betcha.

I love the pps description of the 'positive feedback loop.' I think that's really what I was wondering. I've been stuck in a negative and somewhat self imposed loop for years.

Lost about 60lbs and don’t notice tremendous difference.
People don’t care what I eat, which is nice. I feel like I can have cake etc without judgment.
I am oblivious to male attention, but my partner notices a fair bit.

I lost about 3 stone and went down to a size 8 a few years back.
No difference with work and friends, but I had lots and lots more male attention. Which was a bit disconcerting, and not really my cup of tea after being invisible for years.

I lost two stone and went from almost obese to healthy size 12. The world seems to love me now, and the feeling is mutual. I don't know if its a direct response to my new figure, or because I'm radiating confidence and happiness.

If I walk past a row of stationery traffic, every single male driver looks at me. In fact I can tell the sex of car drivers now by the angle of their head when they drive past me.

IT'S INSANE. I'm 49 so no hot young thing.

I think a lot of it not only comes from how other treat you but how you treat yourself, for me, personally, when I lost weight (5stone) I felt like I took a lot more care of myself, treated myself to new clothes rather than hiding away under frumpy jumpers. I would go on nights out and on day trips when before I would make excuses. I felt a boost not only in my own mental health but also in my body confidence which I felt others picked up on and mirrored back. I was a lot happier person in myself once I had lost the weight..... Then met DH, got married and pregnant and now trying AGAIN to lose the weight.

It's human nature. People see you've made the effort to make yourself feel better and increase your confidence (anyone who says they were just as happy being bigger is a liar). You're confidence has grown so people naturally want to build on that.

I went from 23 to 12 - needed counselling to deal with the changes

I lost over 4 stone is 6 months.
I changed they way I dress, I am guessing thats the way people treated/saw me.

I don't think my weight loss was a huge factor more the way I dress.

Not at all. People occasionally say, 'You're looking good at the moment,' or 'You look really well'. But I've never noticed people treating me poorly because of my size and I wouldn't expect them to treat me better because I've lost weight.

People see you've made the effort to make yourself feel better and increase your confidence (anyone who says they were just as happy being bigger is a liar).

No, I've made the effort to reverse a chronic and life-limiting illness (type 2 diabetes). I was perfectly happy and confident beforehand. Don't project your insecurities onto the rest of us, thanks.

MorrisZap

That made me laugh. It must be a boost. I feel the exact opposite.

I noticed a significant difference. Complete strangers no longer go out of their way to mock and ridicule me, whereas they did when I was obese.

I’ve been slim and overweight and I actually hate the extra attention I get when I’m slim, mainly from men. It’s one of the reasons I actually like being overweight, I enjoy being invisible.

Unfortunately for some obese people they are dismissed easier.
I notice it with my work friend it knocks her confidence back.
The difference in how people are with you is partly your new fond confidence and partly as people are shallow dickheads who judge others on their size.

I lost 4 and a half stone over 30 years ago (and have kept almost all of it off). I'd been fat all my life.

I hated anyone commenting on it, because it reminded me of the thing I'd struggled with (and been bullied for as a kid) for so long.

I know people think they're being nice to comment on it, but some people are hugely embarrassed by such comments. I did it for my health, not for 'praise'. Even today, people I knew long ago that I haven't seen for many years will make remarks if I do see them.

Yes, I get it - I was fat! I haven't been for decades, let it go!

I remember speaking to a woman who lost a lot of weight through bariatric surgery and looked fantastic not just because of her visual appearance but because she radiated this confidence and a zest for life and people. She confided that her husband was against her getting the surgery but she went ahead anyway. And now, he is still very unhappy she had it done. She thinks it is because of the male attention she now gets and the fact she now feels confident to rebuild her social life and join hobby groups etc rather than staying home like before. He preferred her as the 'fat wife.

I lost a lot a few years ago. I was genuinely shocked at how much more polite and respectful people were after/are now.

It's little things like door opening, smiling more. Friendlier shop staff. That was something I didn't expect.

And I've always been self assured and dress smartly in the same contexts.so I honestly don't think it's a reflection of my own increased confidence / looks, because other than being slim there hasn't been a big change in how I dress or how I speak to people or make eye contact

I have gone from overweight to very slim and have stopped being invisible. I am treated with more respect, engaged with more and just generally viewed as more significant. I am referring to how folk I don’t know treat me.
Interestingly, whilst most people I know are pleased for me and still treat me the same some female friends have acted almost resentful - which I find strange and it bothers me.

I went down two dress sizes after I gave birth, I put it all down to the breast feeding, I wasn't actually trying to lose weight.
I get constant comments about how small I am now (size 8), and I need fattening up. Super frustrating and makes me really self conscious

Uncharteeedsea

Can you give me an example of what happened? I feel people sneer.

Not read any replies but wanted to say if people you know are different in a positive way ie asking you on nights out when they hadn't before I'd seriously tell em to piss off!

People who can't see past the size or looks of a person are not worth knowing.

One of my best friends is very overweight and you know what, I love her to bits and she's an amazing person. I feel proud to be out with her, day/ evening whenever.