'Cutesy' language to baby

[Wick]

NC'd

DH keeps saying "feeties" instead of foot or feet and many other words to our 10 month old. I've asked him to use the proper words while our child learns to speak but he's carrying on anyway.

It's driving me mad, AIBU?

It's all one language, they baby talk your husband is using is still in English. Dc will pick up the correct word as they are growing up in the Uk (i assume) if not I promise at 3 they still won't only know their feet as feeties. You can carry on with your best practice

I can see why you might think that, but the evidence points towards using 'motherese,' not one parent using it and the other not - so you don't need to talk any English, 'motherese' or not!

He still does it but he's improving and usually apologises to him later when calm.

ROFL!

Yep. I'm sure your 10 month old really responds well to an apology and fully appreciates it.

And you're on here asking about baby talk??

Nothing better than squeezing your baby's thighs whilst screaming about his chubba-wubbas.

Saying stupid things is literally the whole point of having a kid. Chill out. It's fun.

I'll be honest, feeties would irritate me but not a big deal. Baby talk is a hard habit to break. I have a chatty nearly 2 year old and am working on not using the 3rd person

I also teach Child Language Acquisition and child directed speech (which is what you are describing) is good for linguistic development. It's a fascinating topic and I find it so interesting how we seem to instinctively know what to do to encourage speech and when to move on. There's no right way however and it's fine for you not to do it but it makes me laugh the posters looking down on these 'cutesy' words with no idea of their linguistic function. For example at a certain point children find it easier to repeat sounds (reduplication) so that is why woof woof or moo moo is easier for a child to grasp than dog or cow even tho they are simple one syllable words. On the surface it looks silly but their is actually a reason why we instinctively do this. What I find most interesting is that without ever reading or researching child language acquisition most parents instinctively follow the patterns of development that are most beneficial to their child

*TheNanny23

I’m nearly 30 and still ask my husband to get me a yog yog from the fridge!*

Are you me? That's so reassuring to read

Yep and my cat has a bery bery tubby tum tum.

the 'research' for teaching multiple languages is that parents should split them

As far as I am aware, this advice is not based on any actual research but has arisen from popular books and parenting website discussions about what has worked for individual families; it then gets repeated as if it was actually proven.

I would of course be interested in being proved wrong here, but the university where I work is heavily into language acquisition and I have looked into this and not been able to find anything on this. Do you have any links to peer-reviewed research, OP?

For the record, we didn't split languages between us very strictly; both our adult children speak the two languages fluently and without confusion.

@corythatwas I can't remember exactly where I read it and as far as I'm aware, research doesn't have to be official to still be called research. I'm not entirely sure what point you're trying to make here or what pearls of wisdom you're trying to impart.

As you've mentioned there is easy enough evidence to support real life cases and if you really need official studies then as you've indicated it is your profession to find these and you also have grown up children, (and of course to write provocative comments on forums online) therefore I presume you have time to put in the research yourself. As I already mentioned, my questions that I wanted answered have been, I don't have time or energy to indulge petty point scoring as my children are not grown up and I have plenty to do.

As far as I am concerned, the purpose of this thread has been concluded, any trolls wishing to continue, you can do so without me, or better still start your own thread to fulfil your needs.

Thank you to everyone else who gave mature and humorous/informative and honest posts.

the 'research' for teaching multiple languages is that parents should split them

Do you have anything I could read about it, genuinely curious, not asking for goady reasons.

I’m verbally bilingual, as is my son, we also both speak sign language. I’m a lone parent, so obviously I’m the one who has ‘taught’ him his languages in a sense. He’s four (five next month), he is equally fluent in English and Urdu, when speaking to me he will use a mix of both. He has figured out that generally other people speak English so that’s what he uses with other people, he has also figured out that most people I know don’t speak Urdu, so has sometimes said mean things about them. He has only recently fully realised that each language has a name. I didn’t start learning English until I was eight, so I always look at his learning and how different it is to mine.

I don't have time or energy to indulge petty point scoring

The irony

To the poster who said why will happen if you don't? Obviously nothing. However I just don't see the need for it and have only ever used proper words to my son. I don't like it or agree with baby talk, that's just my opinion. Everyone is allowed one.

OP the consensus is that parents naturally do the things you've mentioned through the medium of baby talk (which has these features) and it's good to let them get on with it because anything helpful that we do intuitively and especially as a vehicle for bonding is a massive plus.

However I just don't see the need for it and have only ever used proper words to my son. I don't like it or agree with baby talk, that's just my opinion. Everyone is allowed one.

Of course you're allowed your opinion. However, it's been explained many times why it's useful to use 'baby talk' in terms of development. That's the whole argument of this thread, that there are benefits to using cutesy language rather than it just being about a parent who's seemed to let their brain go to mush over their tiny child. Not liking it is one thing, odd not to 'agree' with it though.

Yes, I’m not sure what’s not to ‘agree’ with?

I can't remember exactly where I read it and as far as I'm aware, research doesn't have to be official to still be called research. I'm not entirely sure what point you're trying to make here or what pearls of wisdom you're trying to impart.

It does need to follow a proper methodology and be peer-reviewed (checked by other professionals) to be called research.

As you've mentioned there is easy enough evidence to support real life cases

Not that much: a few books written by individual parents (I can think of 2 or 3) about their own families seem to have had an inordinate amount of influence: I could easily come up with as many RL examples of the opposite working.

and if you really need official studies then as you've indicated it is your profession to find these

Yup. They do not appear to exist.

and you also have grown up children

Which is why I am able to claim with some confidence that at least in my case a different method seems to have worked.

and of course to write provocative comments on forums online

What is provocative in asking you if you have evidence of something you claim to know from research? You are in AIBU, yet you seem to think there is something provocative and wrong in people having a different opinion.

therefore I presume you have time to put in the research yourself

I have done so. There does not appear to be any convincing evidence. The OPOL school is a very Western-centred approach which is based on anecdotal data by individual parents rather than any proper study of a large sample of children conducted by professionals in data collection and analysis. In the meantime, outside Western Europe and the US, people manage multilingualism in all sorts of ways and do so very successfully.

Research doesn't have to be official to still be called research

And that's the battle-cry of every anti-vaxxer, flearther and conspiracy theorist out there. And Donald Trump. Sigh.

Out of curiosity, do other languages do baby talk? I assume they do?

We add a lot of 'ee' sounds on the end, wonder what other countries do.

My children are half Cypriot and we lived there through the baby years. In Greek there is loads of baby talk and the kids all seem to talk clearly much sooner too. I don't know if it's because of the different sounds of the language are easier to learn.

YABU and joyless.

@Nanny0gg

Yes, other languages do baby talk. In Japanese, they tend to shorten the original word then repeat it. So the word for sleep is “neru” but when getting a child down for a nap you’d call it a “nen-ne”. A dog’s bark in Japanese is “wan” so a doggy would be a “wan wan”. Or sometimes “wanko” 😂

@Mencho

LOL!

Thank you. Very enlightening!

I'm 34 and still call bananas nanas. It hasn't negatively affected my life is any way.