'Cutesy' language to baby

[Wick]

NC'd

DH keeps saying "feeties" instead of foot or feet and many other words to our 10 month old. I've asked him to use the proper words while our child learns to speak but he's carrying on anyway.

It's driving me mad, AIBU?

@growinggreyer incorrect assumption unfortunately! Extremely insecure as a child due to neglect, mil adopted him as an older child. So yes lovely that he wants to bond, but will also shout "FFS (child's name)" at our child when he's frustrated with prolonged crying. Probably something he learned in childhood but I suppose it's his right to speak how he wants whether I like it or not.

Ime when they get old enough to find it embarrassing they will make their feelings horribly clear. Until then you don't need to worry. You may also find that when they get to their late teens/early adulthood they view his silliness as mildly endearing: that seems to be the way my dc reach to their dad's.

Like a pp's dc, mine have learnt both adult vocabulary and baby language in two different languages: hasn't led to any confusion at all. Small children are pretty smart when it comes to nuances of language.

Sorry, missed your last post about the shouting. That is less good.

Exp still talks to dc like they are babies now (they are 10 and 7 and dd1 comments on it to me) it still doesn't affect their vocabulary or intellect. The shouting you describe though is one of the reasons he's an ex so please separate the 2 issues and deal with the latter appropriately.

Thank you to almost all of you for your opinions and explanations on both sides. I shall be more understanding of DH's communication style. I do have particular reasons I don't like it but I wanted unbiased opinions. I shall continue to cringe quietly and not mention it again to him, at least I know it won't cause any harm which is really good to know!

Oh and for what it's worth, I don't judge other people who do it with their children, or who use the words in combination with the correct words.

My MIL says 'is you pretty?' or 'is you tired?' drives me up the wall.

Leave the poor sod alone, you're sucking the joy out of parenting (and marriage with you).

@Fimofriend I'm going to have to disappoint you and not apologise to my husband for once making a request that he ignored anyway (with no backlash). If you class that as controlling then I'd hate to be in your shoes

My ten month old has toesie wosies, tootsies, feeties, leggies, peggies, bot bot, moo moo’s, sleepy night nights and so many ridiculous cutsie nonsense songs that I make myself sick never mind anyone else. Everyone in my household calls him bah-be to the point I’m not sure he actually does know his proper name. He is just beyond adored by us all.

at least I know it won't cause any harm which is really good to know!

It’s not just that it doesn’t cause harm though, it’s actively better for their language development.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/neurosciencenews.com/baby-talk-language-development-9642/amp/

Looks like you should be taking a leaf out of his book rather than the other way around.

Yabu. First born?

@LaurieMarlow thank you for the link but I think 3 languages are enough to be using with proper words without adding variations of. As I mentioned, I believe fun can be had language once the basics are learned...however I distrust studies that claim using multiple words encouraging children to speak sooner seeing as children who grow up speaking multiple languages tend to start speaking later and my experience has proven the latter. I was aiming to avoid confusion by omitting 'baby talk'.

I did and do still feel this information irrelevant though as my AIBU was about not saying anything further to DH and not about my own use of language/s.

Toes - tootsies
Eyes - eye pies
Hand - handy pandies
Teeth - toothipegs
Head - noggin
Legs - leggy peggies
Bottom - botbot

We have loads of cute names for things, which I learnt from my own mum. It didn't hamper our language skills. My mum is an author, her children (us), all have masters degrees and good jobs, one is an editor, one fluent in 3 languages.
My kids are currently doing very well at primary.
I believe there has been research to show that playing with language and using rhythm and singsong voices inspire engagement and a love of language.
Let your dh enjoy the baby while he can.

YANBU. It makes me cringe to hear that stuff. I use a sing-song voice with babies and simplify sentence structure for toddlers learning language, but the cutesy words are awful.

I remember hating that sort of thing from a very young age. I can imagine the withering look I'd have given any adult who tried to speak to me that way when I was ten!

however I distrust studies that claim using multiple words encouraging children to speak sooner seeing as children who grow up speaking multiple languages tend to start speaking later

But motherese and multiple languages are two totally different things

You ‘distrust’ studies? What’s your background and expertise in early language acquisition I wonder?

however I distrust studies that claim using multiple words encouraging children to speak sooner

Yes, those darn researchers who spend years in education, following several more years working in a specialist field to eventually get their findings published. You're a mum, and obviously know better after a few months of being a parent!

Nice brag about how many languages you use, but actually you could speak a hundred languages at home and it makes little difference. The first 3 years of a humans life are the easiest to teach as many languages as possible, if the parents chose to.

Oh I dunno. I'm sure I still sometimes call toes toesies in the presence of my DS who has a degree in English from Cambridge and my DD who's off to Imperial for her Masters in Sept (Covid permitting). I babbled non stop to my children when they were tiny. I still do it to the dog and he's a genius

I always said when I was pregnant there was no way I'd do baby talk. My son is now 2 and we have "yogi bogi" for yogurts and "oaky woakys" which somehow means armpits toes are "tickle tickle toes" it's all a bit cringe but he loves it

will also shout "FFS (child's name)" at our child when he's frustrated with prolonged crying. Probably something he learned in childhood but I suppose it's his right to speak how he wants whether I like it or not.

A bit of baby talk is the least of your concerns. This is worrying, OP.

@LaurieMarlow you're purposely taking what I said out of context as I was referring to particular studies due to evidence displayed by other studies and my own experience.

However, you don't need to be a genius to know that studies nearly always set out to prove a particular theory that someone has at the time, which means that they are often disproved with other studies. For instance, look at controlled crying, and co-sleeping or what does/doesn't cause cancer. What is best practice is always changing advice.

you're purposely taking what I said out of context as I was referring to particular studies due to evidence displayed by other studies and my own experience.

Perhaps you didn’t make yourself clear.

Anyway, you don’t seem to have any expertise yourself in early language acquisition (correct us if we’re wrong) so if you’re not going to listen to the experts who do, that’s your own concern. Knock yourself out.

Thankfully your husband seems more tuned in.

@:Sparklesocks

Maybe relax a bit. I doubt your son will grow up going into Clark’s requesting new work shoes for his feeties.

That made me laugh!

I'm with OP I didn't really like cute words spoken to a toddler. I'm fine with 'a dog goes woof woof' but a 'doggie woggie goes woof woof' just no. My MIL took it to a new level though broccoli was trees for example my DH used to just look at his Mum sometimes as we seriously struggled to decipher what she was trying to tell our DD when she was a toddler.

Although I can remember DD telling my MIL no Grandma is not xx its xx when she was 4/5, I think MIL gave up then!

@LaurieMarlow Perhaps you need to be a bit more tuned in yourself if you can't pay attention, but as you put it, that's your concern.

I will say it one last time for you, my opinion has come from experts. But experts don't all agree on the same thing.

I don't need to prove my qualifications to you, I'm not here to brag or to justify, if I was the leading expert in child language development then why would I be on here asking AIBU? I would obviously know I'm not if that were the case. Perhaps some common sense might be sensible here.

I will say it one last time for you, my opinion has come from experts

Experts on early language acquisition?

Do post the sources you’re referring to.