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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can I have x for free?

133 replies

PlinkiePlonk · 08/05/2020 10:50

I understand that times are tough, and it’s up to the individual who responds to have said yes. However, is it just me or are people getting more extravagant in what they might reasonable expect someone to gift ‘for free!’

I have just spotted in a group that someone is wondering if anyone can ‘gift’ them 100 block paving slabs for their drive. Maybe it’s just me but that seems like a lot to feel you can just commandeer.

What is the most expensive thing you have seen people try and blag that has made you think: ‘really?!’ Or is it just me being grumpy.

OP posts:
DahliaDay · 08/05/2020 10:52

Which group? Who are they asking for them from?

Original poster
PlinkiePlonk · 08/05/2020 10:53

It’s just a community group. Not a builders merchants group or something.

OP posts:
Hedgehog44 · 08/05/2020 10:55

I've noticed this in our local FB groups. A lot of people expecting to be given really bizarre things. No mate, you can build your extension when B&Q opens, I'm not giving you 3000 house bricks to be nice!

Elouera · 08/05/2020 10:56

Do you mean gumtree? Our local one wont advertise things like new apple phones, laptops etc.

Jellycatfox · 08/05/2020 10:57

My favourite are things like
“I have a saw horse to give away to someone that needs it”

  • Yes please
  • Interested

And then none of them actually know what a saw horse is.

CanofCant · 08/05/2020 10:57

YANBU, I have a couple of people on Facebook like this. 'Any one of my friends kind enough to give me...?' Pffft.

Sparklfairy · 08/05/2020 10:58

Regularly see people asking for everything to kit out a flat when they move, for free. Not a problem until they start getting super picky about what people are offering in a rude way! Saw one comment that said "sorry but the only place that sofa is good for is the tip!"

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 08/05/2020 10:59

people see and get wise...there was one on a local group, someone said he must have the best maintained and decorated house for no money ever as he was after paint this time

Somebody else tried to defend him, but a simple search shows this guy has been asking for everything free.....even asking if any one would plumb stuff in for free/do wiring

Certainly seems to be missing all cues that he is rumbled and everyone thinks he is a cheeky wotsit!

Jojobar · 08/05/2020 10:59

I've seen requests for a TV for kids room...and then when an old style one is offered, the person says no, it has to be a flat one.
Then when one of those is offered, it's too small and has to be a 55 inch, because that's the size of their wall bracket.

Did see a request for a car once. Think they actually got one too Shock

Scootingthebreeze · 08/05/2020 11:02

Yes I noticed that recently. I listed some items for sale (at a really low reasonable cost too) and had a message from someone asking me to give them away to their charity and providing an accompanying sob story. I felt quite annoyed to be honest, as I give a lot of things away for free and help the community whenever I can, including giving away medical supplies I'd paid for to use at home, but were in short supply at a care home. To ask for a tiny sum for the items I listed and then have someone try and guilt me into giving them away really annoyed me...can you tell?? Grin

KnobwithaK · 08/05/2020 11:03

I see this quite a lot on my local FB group, not noticed it getting worse during lockdown though.

There was a woman trying to get some shelves who asked if anyone had a saw.. she didn't want to borrow it but wanted them to do the sawing for her Confused

MonsteraCheeseplant · 08/05/2020 11:05

I gave away two Ikea bookcases for free, collection only. Someone had the cheek to ask me to deliver!

TheRoyallingStones · 08/05/2020 11:05

YABNU

I sympathise with people who need help with essentials, and it’s lovely to see people rally round in support. It just makes it doubly shitty when other people take the piss.

Redoing your driveway is one of those things that you just do when you have the spare cash surely? If you can’t afford it you just live with what you have. Not at all in the same league as people who need a fridge because they have none/theirs has broken and can’t afford to replace it.

YappityYapYap · 08/05/2020 11:22

I see a lot of 'just moved into a new flat, single mother, looking for everything cheap or free if possible' which is fine. People generally offer things they were getting rid of anyway and the poster seems to be very appreciative and says they've arranged a van to collect everything.

Sometimes I see the odd 'my cooker is broken, can't afford a new one, my budget is £50, anyone got anything?' Which again is fine. It's good to recycle.

The ones I dislike are people that post looking for non essential things, expect delivery and are not willing to pay anything and rebuff generous offers from people. I've seen a lot of 'I'm sheilding, anyone got 10 paving slabs they can deliver so I can redo my path?'. Then on comes at least 10 people with various different offers and the poster gets very picky and says 'I need them all the same colour', 'I need them now and not in a week after you lift them', 'those look a bit old, looking for newer'. I find that very cheeky

MitziK · 08/05/2020 11:28

One ex reckoned that he was given a people carrier.

Going by the state of it, it must have been cheaper to give it away than pay for it to be taken away and scrapped - how it had an MOT, I have no idea.

Mind you, that was nothing compared to his sister's choring. Furniture, kids' clothes, her clothes, carpets, flooring, a moped (and then asked for leathers and a crash helmet), a patio, shed, greenhouse, all the plants, cars, pushchairs, car seats, windows, furniture, power tools, cooker, fridge, trumpet, guitar, piano (and asked the person who said 'I do' if they could deliver), pet food - there wasn't a thing she didn't ask for on Freecycle or Facebook. Strangely, she never, ever had anything to give away.

I wouldn't have been so judgey had I not known she had a house owned outright, a holiday home, substantial maintenance and 'only £45,000 in the bank' from when she was complaining that she didn't qualify for Income Support.

ANoiseAnnoys · 08/05/2020 11:29

Well they’re just CF’s chancing their arm aren’t they? If someone has what they’re asking for and wants to get rid of it fair enough.

Remind me a bit of this verse from the bible:
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye. shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth
In other words, those who have perseverance (or are cheeky gits) get what they want!!

100 paving slabs is a bit of a big ask though!

BikeRunSki · 08/05/2020 11:32

I’m happy to give away stuff I have and no longer need, to someone who is genuinely needy, but take objection when they are really fussy about it. I had someone reject cot sheets (unused) because she wanted something “for a boy”. They were red, white and orange stripes,

Picklypickles · 08/05/2020 11:32

The only things I've seen where people have asked for expensive/big things for free have been people asking on behalf of families fleeing domestic violence and moving into new homes and people who have lost their homes to fires.

kkr168 · 08/05/2020 11:33

I don't see the problem, although I would never do it myself!
On our local facebook group someone was asking for cement, ballast, breeze blocks, etc, he had lots of offers. People would rather give it away for free then have to pay to dispose of it at the tip, it's £2 per rubble sack at our dump, it soon adds up.

The ones like the paving slab one posted above is just plain cheeky, beggars cant be choosers!

Goatinthegarden · 08/05/2020 11:33

I don’t belong to any of these groups, but do have a FB ‘acquaintance’ who is constantly putting up posts like, ‘Has anyone got an exercise bike they don’t need? It’s time I started getting fit.’ or ‘My kid has just broken his xBox, has anyone got one they can give me..?’

I’m unsure how successful he is at this...

CeibaTree · 08/05/2020 11:34

We got about 50 paving slabs for free on freecycle for our garden. The person who we got them from was grateful someone took them away as they were landscaping their garden, so it's not actually that outlandish a request.

itsnotcakeitsbaby · 08/05/2020 11:37

Someone I used to know on my fb once said he was offering about 16 paving slabs for free, he included photos and they were definitely not pristine condition (old, mossy, crumbling at edges, some very sizeable cracks). He then said buyer to remove from patio themselves. Sneaky, but basically asking someone to do half his landscaping work for him for free. Don't think anyone took him up on it!

Jojobar · 08/05/2020 11:41

BikeRunSki, yes there's a lot of that on our FB groups...

Has anyone got a pushchair? Mine has broken and can't leave house without one
Yes I've got a blue/ pink one
Oh pass thanks it's for a girl/ boy

Same for baby bouncers, high chairs and clothes.

I feel like if you need baby items and they're offered, why does the colour matter? The baby won't know!

EmbarrassedUser · 08/05/2020 11:41

No harm in asking though. No-one has to give do they? We gave away some roofing felt worth £500 the other day so it does happen.

DollyDaydream70 · 08/05/2020 11:44

Anyone who wants something for free can look for it on Freecycle, I often list things on there as it saves me a trip to the charity shop or tip if someone is willing to come and pick my unwanted items up. I don't really see the problem with people asking for stuff tbh, I wouldn't personally, but there's no harm in asking politely, their might be someone who's glad to shift 100 block paving stones out of their garden :-)

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