To tell the neighbour to have some fucking respect

[Magicra84]

My next door neighbour is nice. He plays heavy dance music with a heavy bass. He's a fucker for it. He also has it playing out into his garden on nice days. Cuntish especially as most of our neighbours are of the older generation and probably won't like dance music too much.

Anyway sometimes it starts at 8 a.m. what is never on too loud it's just the bass constantly banging. It's currently on now louder than normally and I can't concentrate on the TV and can hear it over my own music. It's shit. The thud thud thud is causing me anxiety every day. Should I nicely ask neighbour to turn it down? He must be aware it's loud enough I can hear it. I was going to tell him the other day but it stopped. Really tired of it and when I hear the music come on now I get a deep feeling of dread.

@BruceAndNosh who exactly did this? OP didn't?

It's not about respect, it's about consideration for others. Why are you not letting him know how loud his music is? He likes this music so for him it's probably not loud enough.

I hear music out of car windows all the time - very loud. People just don't realise, I think.

If it's his birthday, give him a card - saying Happy Birthday, if you want another one, please turn it down... or just ask him to.

I know that feeling of dread. All my neighbours are quiet except one over the back. Every sunny day, he’s out in the garden with the patio doors open and music loud so he can hear it outside. He likes to shout over it too. Must be at least a dozen other houses that can hear it too, assuming 4 people per household that’s a lot of people affected by one inconsiderate one. I know I could report him but I worry he’d find out who it was; plus we’d have to mention it if we were ever to try to sell.

I once had this problem. I put classical or opera on full blast with speakers facing their wall and fucked off out. Amazingly it stopped

Just ask! He might not realise? If you and your neighbours are as quiet and considerate as you say he probably heard no noise from you... most likely he doesn’t realise how well his noise is travelling. Just ask him, he might be mortified and apologise profusely.

Have a nervous break down in front of him - scream and cry. Why not?

YABU because you posted here before ASKING your neighbour to turn it down! Don’t be passive aggressive by ranting here if you haven’t addressed the issue with your neighbour.

Tell him it’s too loud and ask him to turn it down. Simples. THEN, and only then can you complain if he doesn’t turn it down.

Just say "do you realise that your music is really intrusive and makes your neighbours lives unpleasant", he then has the option to address it or show that he really does not give a shit.

I would only complain on behalf of myself. I’d never speak on behalf of the neighbours unless it was an agreement by the neighbours.

Be assertive and stand up for yourself!

People know loud music means others are going to hear it, especially those who play it in the garden. It also means they don't give a toss otherwise would listen to it via headphones.
Trouble is, if you ask an unreasonable person to turn it down, possible responses are telling you to get shagged or turning it louder in retaliation

Talk to him; he may not realise. If he puts the bass speaker on a bed of foam or telephone directories or something like that then the boom won't be so bad. I have had to leave places where the thump thump of the bass is too bad as it makes me really ill, so I do sympathise.

And so what if he then speaks to you about the noises you make? Maybe you're not aware of them.

Maybe you can both find ways around the mutually annoying sounds you each make? Or ocmpromise about how or when or how often you each do whatever it is?

Perhaps you'll actually like each other and become friends?

Does he live alone?

If so maybe point out that he is very much welcome to listen to his —shit— music as loud as he likes, if he can utilise he cleverly invented item called HEADPHONES.

Why don’t people use them??

Noise is driving me batshit here today - no peace at all - this country feels like it contains a disproportionately high number of complete idiots to me.

Does he use a bluetooth speaker? You could do this.

Alternatively, out for the day, and 12 hours of Thomas the Tank engine at maximum volume. Available on YouTube.

I have never actually done either of these.

Thank you for your replies. He's got someone round (yes in lockdown) and the music is blasting. Has been for about five hours today so about to go round. He will know I can hear it because he's got it blasting out the back yard at the moment from his living room. Boom boom boom through my house at the moment

Even though it's his birthday I've had enough. It's been daily since lockdown. I've not been able to watch any TV or listen to the radio or anything because of the noise today. Ffs.

Just be nice and pleasant when you go round. And talk about the effect on you rather than all your neighbours. Some of the suggestions on here are likely to put his back up which could sour relations and make it less likely that you get the result you want.

Set his house on fire if he doesn't turn it down.

Someone on one of the more "interesting" estates in the town I live in did this a few years ago. Funnily enough the neighbour stopped. Mind you the guy who was "complaining" couldn't live in his either after that.

This is noise nuisance. Contact the council who will show you what to do to get evidence on which they will be able to act.

I feel for you so much

He sounds like an absolute shit of a human being.

People who do this are the absolute scum of the earth, bass heavy music isn’t just intrusive, it causes physical reaction in the body, as so many PPs have noted above.

I think you’ve been more than patient, OP. If he doesn’t react as you would like, get straight onto Environmental Health and go through their process. Yes, it is stressful and a pain, but it could end with his equipment being confiscated and him going to court.

I was brought up to believe that you should never impose your music on other people so definitely never play music in the garden. My daughter put some music on in the garden earlier - only for about 5 seconds but I went shooting outside to tell her to turn it off immediately. I couldn't bear the thought of our neighbours having to hear her dreadful music! Tell him!

@SallyWD Can you be my neighbour. If only everyone had your attitude. Outside music does my head in too.

Is it his birthday today?

Go there with a cake and ask him kindly to be more considerate. If he says no, throw the cake at him. If he says yes say thank you and happy birthday whilst you give him the cake.

Joking.

Just ask him politely the day after his birthday, if he is a decent person, he'll apologize and keep the music down from that moment on.

My neighbour has similar music taste to me but at start of lockdown was putting it on in her kitchen so she could hear it at the end of the garden - it was so intrusive. I was wary of asking her to turn it down as we have two noisy children but eventually it got to the point we couldn’t hear each other. She turned it off. We now aren’t playing music in the garden during lockdown either though as I don’t want to be hypocritical.

You dont live next door to Lee Butler do you?

Explain calmly that the music is making your anxiety increase, that you are finding it very hard to live with it, and could he please wear headphones.

You are not being unreasonable, and if he is as nice as you say he is, he will apologise and that will be the end of it.