To tell the neighbour to have some fucking respect

[Magicra84]

My next door neighbour is nice. He plays heavy dance music with a heavy bass. He's a fucker for it. He also has it playing out into his garden on nice days. Cuntish especially as most of our neighbours are of the older generation and probably won't like dance music too much.

Anyway sometimes it starts at 8 a.m. what is never on too loud it's just the bass constantly banging. It's currently on now louder than normally and I can't concentrate on the TV and can hear it over my own music. It's shit. The thud thud thud is causing me anxiety every day. Should I nicely ask neighbour to turn it down? He must be aware it's loud enough I can hear it. I was going to tell him the other day but it stopped. Really tired of it and when I hear the music come on now I get a deep feeling of dread.

Dontfuckingssaycheese have you heard of King Kopetzky Syndrome? I'm the same with base, can't abide it.

Go and knock next door with a plate of cake in your hand (with social distancing) and say would you mind turning the bass down please, it's making my ornaments wobble on the shelf and given me a headache. If he says yes then leave cake. If not go back home eat it yourself

Have you ever asked him to turn it down? It doesn't look from your op like you have so YABU if not, you need to tell him.

YANBU if you have though.

He needs some wireless headphones

Write a collective letter From all the neighbours and post it through. He’ll never know who it is

We have a neighbour that like to play dance music in the garden too. It drives everyone else mad. it is not that they have the volume up very high. Occasionally if they have people round they do blast it out but not often. The problem is that even with low volume you can't hear the music, just the thump thump thump that seems to travel quite a distance.

Whatever your music taste, playing it in the garden or near open windows is very unfair on neighbours.

You must be my neighbour too! I'm down a few houses though so I don't get the vocal, just the thumping/bass noise

Ask him if he can turn it down

Today - put a birthday card through his door. Tomorrow - have a chat with him! I’d suggest you open by blaming the poor sound insulation rather than his behaviour though. Approach it as a problem that needs to be fixed rather than as a criticism.

The thud thud thud is causing me anxiety every day.

Environmental health is not just for loud noise after a set time. It's not just for dogs barking or parties etc. Your local environmental health will support you with any noise that is upsetting your peace, life and health.
Ask them to turn it down. Explain how it's making you feel. If it doesn't change, keep a diary of the noise and the effect on you, report to environmental health.

All you can do is ask, one of my neighbours is the same, well 2 are but one side is every day, rubbish, rubbish music, bum bum bum all day long, it's so loud that no room in my house escapes. I asked her a couple of weeks ago to turn it down, she told me to fuck off, get a life, must be so sad to be moany and old lol then got herself some proper dj speakers which now nearly shake my house. If he's nice as you say you might be lucky and he'll turn it down. Hopefully he's not like my neighbour.

Maybe people who are worried about respect shouldn't be posting on mumsnet during the Two Minutes Silence

I actually thought this was going to be what the whole thread was about and came on to tell the OP not to be such an officious wanker.

YANBU, OP. Not sure how you've put up with it so long tbh.

Well I love loud music, especially when gardening (drowns out the neighbours kids who scream all day). And for housework. But the difference is mine comes through my soundcore Bluetooth ear buds that play for hours, charge really quickly in their indestructible little case and never fall out. About £50-60 on Amazon and the sound quality is amazing.
So I think that mentioning that you understand his music loving but he can have the best of both worlds might be a good idea. Along with the soundproofing/elderly neighbours mention.
You're a lovely neighbour and if he is nice then a conversation can be had - he's probably like many young men, just a bit thoughtless.

Does he live alone? Can't he wear headphones?

And if it doesn't work get some earphones for yourself - and you Lipz - what a horrid nasty neighbour. Try loud music at 7.00 am. Two can play at that game. Arsehole.

Oh god, I feel for you OP.

I used to live below a club DJ who kept his sound system at home. I don't think I have ever fully recovered from the experience.

It was BOOM shake shake shake the room at all hours.

I really hope you can get it sorted.

Feel for you OP. Noisy neighbours are an absolute curse. I’m very grateful for mine right now, especially when we’re all spending a lot of time at home and in our gardens.

We used to live in a flat beneath a teenage boy who had a boxing punch bag thingy on a stand in his bedroom. He’d beat hell out of it for hours on end and it would literally make our ceiling lights shake. The parents had no idea we could hear it and were, thankfully, very good about it once we’d plucked up the courage to confront them about it.

Thank you for all your lovely replies. It'll be fine once I'm back at work but who knows how long that will be? I'll give him the weekend to celebrate his birthday. He's in his late 40s so not a young man. He's got tiled flooring throughout so also very noise when walking with shoes on and in general doing stuff about the house. I do try and be really considerate when I'm washing up, cooking etc and very early in the morning. He doesn't. The beat of the music just vibrates through my chest and makes me soooo anxious. Apart from him, the whole neighbourhood is a very peaceful place. He's got no consideration. We're semi detached backing on to occupied by homes occupied by mostly older people who are out in their gardens when it's nice. Doubt they like hearing his shitty music imposed on us whether or not we like it. Fed up with him. I feel like I shouldn't have to ask. He should just show consideration like I do.

I just had a bit of a blowup trying to concentrate on something and i couldn't so ended up swearing a bit about the music and the window was open. The music went off about five minutes later so whether he heard of not. Peace at last for now. A few weeks ago he had a club night live streaming onto his speakers. That was fun 😕 luckily he seems to go to bed by 10pm.

Some people are such arseholes though. I was queuing outside my local small supermarket the other day and there was a woman (middle-aged!) with all her car windows down playing loud dance music for us all to endure. Why do people so that? Keep their windows down and play loud music?

Incredibly selfish of him.

However, as you have said he is generally a nice guy, why don't you wish him a happy birthday, say "enjoy yourself but please, after today, would you mind turning your music / bass down, it gives me such a headache and I would love to enjoy the peace and quiet in the garden sometimes".

He's NOT nice OP.

Nice people do not behave like that.

Call around, be very very calm, but really fed up in your demeanor. Say "would you ever have just a small bit of consideration for the people who live around you? Your music is making a stressful time, so much worse for everyone. All we can hear is your music killing the peace. Have you any shame?"..

Do this very calmly, if he has any shred of decency he will take it on board. If not complain him.

People like that a thundering disgrace.

I'm so grateful for my neighbours.🙏

Oooh, send him round! I'm the 'older generation' and I love a good bass line, me.

I've also got some gardening he can do while he's here...

Order a trumpet and set alarm for 5am..

No - make it drums. And give them to a teenager. Having put up with 6 months of bad drum practice, I can guarantee that he'll get the message.

Just go round and tell him it is making your life hell, explain that he really need to turn the bass down. If he doesnt phone enviromental health