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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's far too early for mil to be asking kids what they want for christmas?

36 replies

canmummy · 17/09/2007 20:19

My mil does this every year - asks us ridiculously early what we want for christmas. But the other day she came round and actually asked the kids (aged 6 and 4) what they wanted from santa and started talking about writing him a letter etc.

Now AIBU that it's far too early for kids to start thinking about this as it just drags christmas out for a long time (and they change their minds nearer the time anyway!)

She doesn't need to save btw she just likes shopping without all the queues and hassle. She says she hates christmas and will only get the kids 1 present each and then arrives christmas eve with a bin bag of presents EACH!!

OP posts:
scattyspice · 17/09/2007 20:21

I hate the what do they want for xmas questions full stop (just want to say'any old tat')
She sounds like a lovely Gran though.

Peachy · 17/09/2007 20:22

Ah the just one present honest- thats fairly standard Nana territory ime!

TBH I will start my shopping next week, as thats when my grant arrives and there'll be no mroe before January; my Mum is similarly organised- indeed she does half the shopping in the January Sales. Its just her way, I dont ask the kids what they want though- I come up with ideas on their behalf.

belgo · 17/09/2007 20:24

It's a good idea for her to ask you what they may want - better then getting stuff that they don't want - but I agree it's too early to be hyping the kids up themselves about Christmas.

tori32 · 17/09/2007 20:24

YABU. At least she asks so she gets an idea what they like. Your kids are lucky to have such a doting grandma. My dd is lucky if she gets 2 small pesents. Also got her birthday money (10/01) in may! Not much at that.
She is obviously excited for them.

MaryBleedinPoppins · 17/09/2007 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Weegle · 17/09/2007 20:27

hmm, I point blank refuse to shop in December so if people want specific things then I need to know before. And I have already started Christmas shopping to spread it out. So I don't think it's unreasonable for her to ask you/DP what you might like. H'ever the kids are a bit young to think that far ahead. But then she sounds like a fab gran and at least she thinks of them for Christmas which is more than some grandparents so I guess you should just count yourselves lucky and put it down to a different way of doing things from the way you would??

SenoraPostrophe · 17/09/2007 20:27

oh bless her. she wants to get in early so she can give the gift they remember. or perhaps she's just really organised. either way yabu, in fact yabvu

mrsflowerpot · 17/09/2007 20:29

god, this isn't early, my MIL has had hers done and dusted since before she went on her summer holiday.

pointydog · 17/09/2007 20:30

canmummy, my mil does that too. It is early, it is irritating and you are not really being unreasonable.

It would be worse to have an auld harpie for a mil who sent poisoned apples, natch, but expressing a bit of irritation, well, on you go.

MilkMonitor · 17/09/2007 20:32

Now, I know what you mean because it is annoying when all things Christmas start going up in the shops in September.

Plus it's a shame for kids to start focusing on presents. My nephew and niece start planning their lists for next Christmas on Boxing Day. They get so many presents!

Anyway, why don't you ask MIL to ask YOU instead of the kids. Then, she can buy those gifts. Nearer the time i.e. late November or December (wow!), she can ask them what they want, you get them online for her, get them delivered to her house for her to wrap if she likes all that stuff.

Hope this helps.

Original poster
canmummy · 17/09/2007 20:33

Ok, ok! I think I'll have to get thinking and tell her something good so they don't get asked again!

She is very generous and it's always a bit embarrassing as my parents are here at christmas with just their one present for them (all they can afford). Yes she is a very doting gran!

OP posts:
Spandex · 17/09/2007 20:33

I totally refuse to subscribe to the Christmas shopping frenzy before November. It's ridiculous.

Original poster
canmummy · 17/09/2007 20:36

MM - she sends us out to buy their presents as well if she wants to buy something but can't get to the shops for any reason. In fact, dh now buys all his own presents, keeps them and then asks for the money off her

OP posts:
TheQueenOfQuotes · 17/09/2007 20:37

sigh* all those that say "it's too early" are (usually) those that

a)don't only have a small ammount "spare" at the end of each month for buying extras - so need to spread it out more....or

b) don't have family in far flung places in the world where surface mail has to be sent by the beginning of October......or

c) those that don't have particularly hectic November/Decembers due to birthdays, anniversaries and "christmas" events which they are heavily involved in.....

however I do think she should have asked YOU and not them.

Peachy · 17/09/2007 20:40

AGree QoQ- being on a budget, with a December ds1 birthday, and on the PTA so lots of events- it'll be done soonish.

TheQueenOfQuotes · 17/09/2007 20:41

we have SIL's birthday 22nd november, DH birthday 24th, DS2 27th, our Wedding Anniversary 11th December, plus being the church organist life gets rather manic

pointydog · 17/09/2007 20:44

Septemerbn is too early to be talking to small children about Santa.

Unless you are breaking the news re his lack of existence.

Original poster
canmummy · 17/09/2007 20:46

QoQ - before christams we still have dd2's birthday and dh's birthday but funnily enough she's not mentioned those!

Glad you mentioned overseas as my dad's abroad and need to get a hurry on I suppose.

And, yes, I feel she should have asked me and not got the kids involved.

OP posts:
Original poster
canmummy · 17/09/2007 20:47

Pointy!!!

He doesn't exist?!?

OP posts:
TheQueenOfQuotes · 17/09/2007 20:48

well we tend to spend slightly more on presents at Christmas than for birthdays - so perhaps she's one of those???

Not sure whatt this years overseas dates are - but last year "rest of the world" was 2nd October for Surface mail !

pointydog · 17/09/2007 20:50

I am nearly at the stage of no more let's-piss-about-and-pretend-in-Santa. Must say, I won;t miss it

RosaLuxembourg · 17/09/2007 21:11

I was listening to a little girl in year four read last term and she got to a bit in the book where the narrator finds out that Santa Claus doesn't exist, looked up at me and with a slight tremble in her voice said: 'I didn't really want to know that.'

HappyMummyOfOne · 17/09/2007 21:16

I dont think shes being unreasonable to ask you what they would like if she doesnt like the rush and queues at xmas time. Slightly unreasonable to ask the kids as too soon for them to start counting down to xmas.

My MIL hates shopping and has no idea what DS has or current flavours are so she gives me £100 and I buy the pressies and she wraps them - tend to do it online and get it delivered direct. Works for us both this way.

pointydog · 17/09/2007 21:19

oo rosa - even I nearly feel sorry for that girl

kimi · 17/09/2007 21:33

Canmummy.... Please can you tell your MIL I would very much like the new Jamie Oliver book, as she's asking