autistic and dreading the end of lockdown

[Covidiot]

I like not having to interact with humans face to face every day
I like being in my house with my family
I like not having to touch anyone (handshakes, cuddles, kisses etc)
I love the tranquility of my own personal space

I recognise I am lucky that I can do my job from home easily
I recognise I am lucky to have a garden
I recognise I am lucky that I have a supportive partner
I recognise that I am not in financial difficulties.

I would like to see my mum dad and brother
I would like to see my two friends

But I love I love social distancing and lockdown and I am terrified of going back to normal.

I am sorry if this offends anyone.

You sound like you'd be much happier living in a rural environment OP. Have you considered that? Is it feasible?

ComtesseDeSpair I can’t really inflict my preferences on my dc though and force an isolated lifestyle on them? They don’t want to home educate long term, with the exception of one who might. They will want their friends over. They will want days out. They will want to go back to their extra curricular activities.
All of those things will mean that I have to go places and interact with people, and go back to being busy.

lockdown has been a wonderful time for our family. we will once again be forced to enter the world on a regular basis. I am going to avoid it as much as possible. I have always believed that your own home should be where you are happiest and I am more convinced than ever of that truth.

I have anxiety and on the flip side to everyone else here lockdown is making it so much worse. And no, it's not health anxiety which is affecting me more. I can't wait to be able to go out and see all my friends again, go to a coffee shop and people watch and see the world go by, go back to university and be in lectures, seminars, the cafeteria, nights out. The quiet sets me on edge, that's why I chose to live on a main road in a bustling city. If you like the quiet move somewhere that's like that but don't inflict it on those of us who don't. To me the sound of people outside, even at night, is a soothing kind of white noise, I know the world is still there and going on, and no ones ever too far away. I can't wait to go back to my spin classes 4 times a week, netball team, drinks and meals out with friends. Busy makes me happy, it's what fills me with life. I love staying in with a movie and a take away, staying in and baking with my mum, batch cooking with my housemate, but only when I have the choice to, there's nothing nice about it being imposed on me to stay in, I want my choice back.

I am in no way saying take us out of lockdown now, i understand it's needed and I don't want to come out unsafely but god I can't wait for when it gets to the time that it is lifted.

I'm surprised at how I can disassociate from the massive worry and uncertainty in the world at the moment for much of the day. I understand just how awful things are for lots of people and for society but I seem to be able to switch off and 'happily' immerse myself in pottering around my house and doing my daily exercise. I think I prefer my FaceTime social interactions to in-person ones too. I generally feel calm and relaxed.

I think a lot of this is because I've no other immediate worries. I'm ok financially and mostly have a happy home life. My immediate family are all ok too. I'm sure if I had any of the major concerns that some others have I wouldn't be able to think like this.

I think having money issues, health issues or family issues must be awful at the moment. I sympathise and understand why other people are really suffering in lockdown.

I wonder if more people might move to really rural locations after this is finished. I guess jobs are an issue then and even people who don't want to
Mix with others like to see their closest family or friends.

I was thinking the same, OP. I’m autistic. I can do 90% of my job very easily from home. I have a large house with a garden, no financial concerns, an introvert DH who is also very happy with the situation, a dog who gives me a walking routine, and no DC to stress me out. I’ve been very happy under lockdown generally, but have found this last week I’m beginning to miss being out and about - I love going to restaurants, shopping, travelling, and the lack of that is starting to drag a bit. I don’t miss people though! And am dreading the commute into London when it all starts again...

Zoom meetings can sod off though - hate them! Always manage to cut over people, as another PP said...

Just bumping this thread to say @Beeep your post was really insightful and helped me to understand something about myself. Disassociation is exactly what I’ve been doing to get through this. As long as my husband and kids are at home with me, it feels safe and almost (almost!) normal. And I also feel in control of things. All this talk of schools opening up is terrifying. I do not want to have to rescind control here, and send my daughter (who is desperate to go back to school) back to school.

My daughter has autism and feels exactly how you do. I don’t actually know if I’ll be able to get her back into school in September? I’m not sure she’ll go after all this time. She’s loved doing her A Levels from home. It’s going to be very hard.