autistic and dreading the end of lockdown

[Covidiot]

I like not having to interact with humans face to face every day
I like being in my house with my family
I like not having to touch anyone (handshakes, cuddles, kisses etc)
I love the tranquility of my own personal space

I recognise I am lucky that I can do my job from home easily
I recognise I am lucky to have a garden
I recognise I am lucky that I have a supportive partner
I recognise that I am not in financial difficulties.

I would like to see my mum dad and brother
I would like to see my two friends

But I love I love social distancing and lockdown and I am terrified of going back to normal.

I am sorry if this offends anyone.

You're not alone, Covidiot.

My son is 15 and he is so much happier on lockdown. The social interactions that school involves exhaust him.

I’m not autistic but I do suffer from anxiety doing quite normal things like going to restaurants, going shopping and being in meetings at work. It sounds weird but it’s linked to my emetophobia and normally I force myself to do these things as I know I need to get over it and hiding at home won’t help. But now after being allowed to hide at home for so long I’m terrified it’s going to be even harder when I’m expected to do all these normal things again

I'm dreading the end of it too. It's not difficult for me as I'm quite introverted so just seeing my dc and a neighbour or 2 is perfect

If you can work from home and don’t crave social interaction then genuine question - what’s stopping you from maintaining all your favourite bits of lockdown after it ends? You can have all your grocery shopping delivered, buy everything else online as well, spend all your non-working time sitting indoors on the sofa with your sofa for years on end, tell everyone but one or two relatives of friends that you’ve decided to distance until there’s a vaccine and probably even after as well, if you really want to live that way. The choice is yours, surely?

I completely understand OP. I am not autistic, anxious or introverted. But I am dreading a return to my chaotic life. I also love not having to see people and miss no one. And I do understand why people might be sensitive and I feel bad about that.

I can’t wait to go back to normal and I hope lockdown ends soon.

Hopefully OP you can see the positive side of this experience. You have identified many elements to your previous lifestyle which you now know are optional. Once lockdown ends you don't have to pick up where you left off.

The only constant is change, but you have agency and don't have to do things just because someone else or society says you should.

I suffer from mild anxiety in work situations. I've kept it under control for the last 10 years with some medication, but mainly by forcing myself to never run away from situations that exacerbate my anxiety, to the stage where I stop getting anxious (hope this makes sense).

This lockdown has ensured I relaxed, I don't now have to chair face to face meetings that give me panic attacks etc. Trouble is now I'm starting to get anxious over conf call, my anxiety is going back up and possibly getting worse. I dreading going back to having to see customers as it's almost like all my hard work is unravelling. I dream of a job where I don't have to interact with people. Ive decided I want to be a heB driver

@ComtesseDeSpair I’m WFH as it is possible. But it will not be possible to WFH permanently - even I recognise that.

I don’t want to live my life excluded, in isolation, I just like the reduced peopling, and the fact that a lot of people are not in public. The world is quieter and more sedate. I like being out and about in that kind of world. But lockdown ends and the throng returns. And that’s what worries me. Because I know I’m so different - but you wouldn’t know it to meet me, I’ve learned I can disguise myself. And I really don’t want to go back to disguising myself as it’s fuckong exhausting. But I have no option. So, in conclusion, continuing to self isolate is not the solution. Everyone else continuing to self isolate is. But I know I am 100% unreasonable expecting (or even suggesting) that.

I understand. When lockdown is eased, can you continue to work from home? Ie try to keep as much of lockdown as possible, as it's working for you.

The clapping thing is because people like to be able to do something in response to crises, and if you can't do something that actually helps, something symbolic helps with feeling like you've done something. It's fine not to do it too.

I’m autistic. Moved back with relatives so a bit more interaction than normal. It has highlighted how badly I do with social relationships- I don’t know anyone where I actually live so completely isolated.

I am WFH but find it hard on the phone with colleagues. I interrupt because I think they have finished speaking.

Difficultcustomer - the phone is the work of the devil - I have no idea how people don't interrupt each other all the time on it!

I interrupt because I think they have finished speaking

Yes this. Also

• I don’t speak at all as I can’t work out when they have finished
• I interrupt because if I don’t say what’s in my head now it will disappear forever and I’m so focused on saying this important thing I forget that others are speaking.

And doing these things make you a twat in a neurotypical world. And I hate being interrupted so I’m a hypocritical twat too.

Same! I feel guilty about it but god I wish we could stay like this. Although I think its shown us we can have a little more freedom with work. I dont intend to go back to the office all day every day.

It's going to be so hard to REadapt to "normality"

My autistic son is so happy to stay at home and I’m dreading his disappointment upon being returned to school. I feel really guilty for not pulling him out and homeschooling but it’s too
Much for me at the moment and I can’t teach him really - he resists me too much.

Covidiot so long as you're clearly making an effort not to do it (eg when you both talk at once, you stop and either they say for you to go ahead, or you say for them to go ahead) I think most people won't mind. At least, I do it all the bloody time, and so far no one has moaned at me about it :)

Social distancing, people wearing masks etc are all going to disturb him. I understand OP.! I am personally dreading the loss of quiet and clean air as the planes and cars start up again.

You know how shops have an autistic hour once a week?... what f we had an autistic week once a year?

My DS is autistic and is thriving under Lockdown, unfortunately his thriving is in his bedroom almost 24/7. I keep telling myself he won't be the only teenage boy staying in his room.

My worry is when he goes back to school, he is year 12 and has only just in February completed travel training to get him safely on the bus, I worry that his confidence in traveling will have gone, as well as worrying how on earth he will social distance when he has no spatial awareness, and sensory issues mean there's no way he would tolerate wearing a mask or any face covering.

To add to the issues im vulnerable due to immunosurpressants and illnesses so he will worry about bringing illness home (as will I but we cant all shield forever)

I totally understand where your coming from OP im not autistic but hate physical contact and dont like having visitors round my son has asd and detests school so this has been a great change for us!

I'm not autistic but I have severe OCD and I'm also dreading the Lockdown being lifted OP.

I'm possibly on the spectrum - son has ASD, and I totally agree with you OP. I feel a bit selfish for feeling the way that I do when so many people (including those I love) are struggling with lockdown, but I love it and, apart from seeing my mum, I never, ever want to go back to how it was before.

DS has autism, and is largely enjoying a quiet life with minimal schooling (drat the dyslexia and dyspraxia too!) and having far more time to immerse himself in the Smithsonian Channel and Minecraft. He has a brother close in age and interests and gets plenty of interaction from him (and more than enough). I think we're both looking forwards to times when he can be left home alone properly and he has more independence to do his own thing. (He's certainly happier for not being lugged out for every 5-10 minute errand like we had to when he was little).

He was really anxious from February to lockdown, hair chewing, tummy aches and random pains and has really relaxed since Easter. I say really relaxed, he's not that hard to trigger, but his general mood is more relaxed and not the constant background tension.

I have flagged my concerns about settling back to a busy life and school with his teacher. I've requested that he is with his best frìend if there is a split cohort situation. I've raised that changed routines could be potentially problematic.

He hasn't been in the car for 6+ weeks or gone anywhere further than we can go on foot (about 4 mile radius from home.) I am forcing him out everyday, because he needs to burn energy or he's in a stinking, fragile mood the next day, and because it's better in the long run to maintain that contact with the world beyond our home.

Hopefully, it's looking like normality will phase back gradually so he can adapt to it and build back up. He struggles with term/ holiday transitions.

He's not had his diagnosis long, and while I certainly identified that he had traits (plus family history) I wasn't expecting to have such a decisive diagnosis due to his high level of function and masking (except of course, when he isn't) I'm still learning so much about the way it influences him and his experience of the world.

He's a pro at social distancing though although it's hard to supress him commenting loudly an non-conforming groups of teenagers

This lockdown is really sorting the real introverts from the weekend ones.